To think its perfectly fine for my sis to take our kids overnight. Alone.

[macnab]

My sis is in her 30s. A responsible mature girl who is a primary school teacher and therefore commands a huge group of kids every day.

She is dating my DH brother and they pretty much live together at this stage (her house). She asked if kids could have a sleepover tonight as she'd not seen them for a while. They are 4 & 6 and adore her. All happy. Till DH realised just now that his brother isn't there tonight (he has to be somewhere early tomorrow so easier for him to stay home). DH is furious. Says that he's shocked that I habe no problem with our kids staying with a girl on her own overnight "without any male presence"

WTF

I should add (and have pointed out to him) that I've often stayed here alone with the kids and its never been an issue but he's apparently too shocked, and annoyed with me, to be inclined to discuss it.

He's being a twunt isn't he.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

Indeed.

[Tisiphone]

I'm Irish, too, though no longer live there, and agree that calling women well into adulthood 'girls' is more culturally prevalent, but that doesn't make it any less sexist. The specific sexism is generational, though. My father and his father habitually referred to a neighbour as 'the girl O'Connor' although she was well into her seventies - I assume because she wasn't married. He could never see the problem...

[DarkHeart]

Well I am in my thirties and I have looked after my teenage son alone with 'no male presence' since he was born. He sounds like a sexist twat to me

[Momagain1]

Hak: in the American south: depends on who is using it. Within the same race, it can be done. My brother's and cousins and uncles refer to each other/the group as boy or boys in loving way. A team, club, group of work mates (even mixed race) might be 'the boys' or the girls as a group, and say boy or girl to refer to individuals. Older men might call younger men 'boy' in a pulling rank kind of way. I guess the same applies to older women /younger women too.

But using boy, or girl, to refer to someone of another race that isnt an actual child (not even a teen) is done by those who mean to be an asshole. Some very old people will do so and try to claim ignorance of the newer convention, but I am 50 and the new standard predates my birth, so they are lying racist assholes.

[frumpet]

I actually feel a teensy bit sorry for your DH OP , we have all said things that are spectacularly stupid , or maybe that's just me . He knows that you are going to be able to rib him mercilessly about this for ever and ever

[Hakluyt]

It's fascinating how people say "it's not sexist- I do it all the time!" Or "It's not sexist- lots of people do it" or "It's not sexist, it's part of my culture"

As momagain says- it is possible to change...........

[hmc]

Agree wholeheartedly Hak - on the use of the term 'girl' for grown women.

[bigbluestars]

My FIL seemed incapable of using the word "woman".

Adult females were girls or ladies- never women.

[treaclesoda]

I'm from N Ireland and I do agree with Hakluyt that I can't imagine an individual male being described as eg 'a mature and sensible boy in his 30s'. But on the other hand, I do hear groups of adult males referred to as 'boys' all the time. 'The boys from work', that sort of thing.