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Original poster

To tell you how I foiled one of those spready out men on the bus earlier?

256 replies

DaygloYellowLady · 03/02/2015 14:38

I'm really quite pleased with myself and it was dead easy. I just sat slightly diagonally but still within the boundaries of my seat so when he started attempting to spread out his legs to air his bollocks he ended up with my bony knee stuck in his thigh with very little discomfort or contact to me. Then, when he moved his leg away I quite subtly stretched my legs ever so slightly into his space, I know this made me
just as bad as him but after years of being squashed into the window, thigh to thigh with a strange man it felt so sooo good. The best part was the slightly bewildered looks he kept throwing me as we trundled along, like that just wasn't the way things should have turned out. Grin

OP posts:
nooka · 04/02/2015 06:26

My dh is 6'5" and public transport is often a bit of a squeeze for him. He either sits at an angle (legs sticking into the aisle or into me/dc) or stands. I've not seen him do the legs akimbo thing, although I guess he might do it when I'm not there.

defineme · 04/02/2015 06:49

I am only 5 10, but my legs are 35 inches and I have never opened my legs on public transport! I either go for an aisle seat or do a diagonal thing. I just ask leg spreaders to move up, but have said oh dear when faced with somone with their feet on the only available seat...that's as strong as I get!

MaybeDoctor · 04/02/2015 07:09

There was a brilliant thing a while back on Feminism chat about a woman in NY who decided to go around sitting like men.

She got lots of Hmm but said that it felt so brilliant that she just didn't care.

AramintaDeWinter · 04/02/2015 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kungfupannda · 04/02/2015 07:46

I just gradually reclaim my space in a series of stretches and shuffles.

yawn stretch Oh look I seem to have managed to slide my shoulder underneath yours, thus reclaiming my seat.

streeeeetch Oh look, my leg is now back where it is entitled to be.

shuffle I think I shall do a big sigh, expand myself into all the available space, and then put my elbow here. What with it being my seat and everything.

It works with train table hoggers as well. If someone puts their stuff all over the table, I just put my laptop down and then 'accidentally' knock it so it pushes everything back onto their side of the table.

Then I say 'oops' and smile.

They generally glare but never say anything. Because what would they say? 'Can you please stop sitting entirely within the confines of your seat/using the piece of table directly in front of you as I want to spread into it?'

It's surprisingly effective.

ocelot41 · 04/02/2015 07:51

I have a retractable umbrella with a pointy end ( like a golf umbrella). Handbag goes on knees - pointy umbrella goes across bag (but within own space).

Spready out men take one look and make for another seat. Magic. No fuss, no bother, no aggro, no squishing.

I do a lot of commuting, me....

TookALittleLongWayRound · 04/02/2015 08:06

Not particularly proud of this but once on a train a spready out man did this to me. There was a lot of front legroom between us and the next seat so there was really no need.

However, as it was I was pretty drunk and I swung both my legs over one of his. As he sputtered and looked shock I very deadpan face said, oh I assumed since you've taken up 1/3 of my seat it was an invite to sit on your lap ?? his face was priceless and he moved pretty sharpish.

And who am I kidding, it got him to move

Shannith · 04/02/2015 08:23

Oh expat was that in a southern new town?

It may have been me :)

QuietNinjaTardis · 04/02/2015 09:56

That should win The thread.

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 09:58

Good work!

I hate these men who spill over on to my air space. I want to send out a missile.

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 10:01

I think those men make a beeline for me. I'm only 5'2" and they think ah good, I'll sit on her, no problem. Makes me feel the rage. I want to get one of those pointy umbrellas, and a handbag with those cow boy things sticking out of the side, what are they called............

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 10:01

spiky wheel things.

Katisha · 04/02/2015 10:03

In the spirit of not putting up with crap I had ago at a man who told me to cheer up love this morning. He seemed genuinely baffled that I did not consider it "a nice thing to say to someone"...

CruCru · 04/02/2015 10:07

I used to get the bus home from work. It's amazing how many men choose the seat next to a woman and then glare because there isn't more room. I take up a whole seat.

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 10:13

yes, they cast their eyes about the bus and think, who can i crush. I glare back with my best "not me mutherfukker" eyeballer

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 10:13

i'm lovely really Smile

MessyHair9 · 04/02/2015 10:14

Those things are called spurs. What we all need is a coat with spurs down one side of it. SHARP ones.

TheSpottedZebra · 04/02/2015 10:19

I find singing helps. Someone does spready legs, I sing a bit. There's no music, I don't have in ipad on, I'm just singing away. Then a bit of eye contact...

It seems to make spready legs shrink away magically.

TheRealMaryMillington · 04/02/2015 10:19

props to Dayglo and Expat. That's cheered me right up that has.

"I usually say the first thing that comes to mind. Like - "You're in my space, could you budge out of it please?" or something similar. It can be pointed out nicely. Sometimes people don't realise what they're doing."

Enough of the nice politeness. You rarely see two men having a knee-off when next to each other, do you? funny that.

KristinaM · 04/02/2015 10:37

I like your style laydees

Though in the interests of factual accuracy I would like to point out the following

  1. I have seen expats arse and its of perfectly normal proportions
  1. There is no public transport where she lives, unless you count the bus every second Wednesday in July and August
expatinscotland · 04/02/2015 11:04

'1. I have seen expats arse and its of perfectly normal proportions

  1. There is no public transport where she lives, unless you count the bus every second Wednesday in July and August'

My arse used to be a size 18. And now . . . it is again!

I lived in Edinburgh for 6 years, 4 of them with no car.

expatinscotland · 04/02/2015 11:06

Hence, my arse needed the whole seat. His baws did not.

In London back in December, however, people did ask, nicely, for others to move their bags if the Tube or DLR got crowded. It's sad, though, that they had to. If you notice the train getting crowded, shouldn't you move your bag out of a seat?

KristinaM · 04/02/2015 11:15

Indeed, it's just good manners. Unless of course your bag has its own ticket .

And I retract all arse size comments Wink

But notice you do not dispute the bus frequency one Grin

expatinscotland · 04/02/2015 11:17

Actually, there is public transport out here, it is infrequent and expensive, but you get your own seat.

Spready out man was in Edinburgh, ah, Lothian buses at rush hour . . . such fun.

Alsoflamingo · 04/02/2015 11:19

Good work, OP. I am proud of you. LOATHE man spreading and all it represents. My only trouble with your approach is that I so loathe being pressed up against some random bloke's leg I tend to cross my legs and shrink my shoulders together to try to prevent contact. Hence just making more space for them to spread out. HMMM.