To tell you how I foiled one of those spready out men on the bus earlier?

[DaygloYellowLady]

I'm really quite pleased with myself and it was dead easy. I just sat slightly diagonally but still within the boundaries of my seat so when he started attempting to spread out his legs to air his bollocks he ended up with my bony knee stuck in his thigh with very little discomfort or contact to me. Then, when he moved his leg away I quite subtly stretched my legs ever so slightly into his space, I know this made me
just as bad as him but after years of being squashed into the window, thigh to thigh with a strange man it felt so sooo good. The best part was the slightly bewildered looks he kept throwing me as we trundled along, like that just wasn't the way things should have turned out.

MoreBeta, I don't disagree; huge bags with their own seat are infuriating. TBF though, in my experience men do it as well as women.

I take great pleasure in singling out, like a twat-seeking missile, the person with their bag sitting on the seat next to them, smiling and saying 'Excuse me, please' politely and ignoring their glares as I plump myself down next to them.

Pisses me right off when people sit on the isle seat and place their bags on the window seat next to them. Bags are just as annoying as huge bollocks IMO.

I find resting my knee on theirs and jiggling my foot works very well.

I was with my mum on a train one time though, a very long train ride. The man opposite was dressed all in white with very fancy white suede shoes. He kept spreading out (slouching and taking up ALL space between the seats) and jiggling. It was #$$%#$^$ annoying. We had been backpacking and were pretty grimy by this point (about three weeks in and only two sets of clothes so they were getting quite worn) and we'd been hiking that day. I'd yawn, fake sleepiness and start stretching out my foot towards his naice white shoe and he would sit bolt upright and stop jigging. I'd retract my foot until about 10-20 minutes later he would start to take over again. After a couple of times of this my mum caught on and couldn't hold her laughter much longer. She had me go with her to the restaurant car so she could burst.

Onlylovers - ooh yes 'guided missile' that me too. I march up the seat announce my presence with a cheery 'hello I need to sit down'. Then I sort of bomb seat from a great height so they have to rescue the bag at lighting speed from my impending bottom.

I travelled on the train from Edinburgh to London next to a man who spread his legs so wide there were times I had to grab hold of the table to avoid falling off the seat.
He kept his face angled well away from me and spent hours with no eye contact.
He also spread a bag of food over the table leaving me with just about enough space for a bottle of water.
He must have had an elastic bladder as he didn't leave the seat for the whole journey. My DH was with me so I know he didn't leave his seat even when I did.
By the time we got to London one side of my arse was numb trying to stay on the seat. My DH offered to swap seats with me but I knew he would've said something - not nearly as polite as me or as easy to walk over - so I hung on in there.
Next time I think I'll fly. With my luck the bastard will be on the same plane!

Beta, I haven't tried the bombing-the-seat technique but I'm sure as hell going to now.

Some excellent ideas here! I'm making notes!

Just say "close your damned legs, I didn't spread mine that wide when I gave birth". See how fast they slap them together.

I had an interesting one recently. Man spread his legs way into my space. Then lady opposite him who had a dodgy knee by the look of it stretched her leg into the space he'd left between his legs. So he closed his legs up. Turns out his balls weren't that big after all.
Because neither of them budged despite his glares across at her, I was left with enough space. So thank you to dodgy knee lady.

I have such an image of this in my head...the two of them locked together (by the legs) for the entire journey .

This thread is making me die laughing. I've done the bag thing, of leaving my bag resting on the spread leg that is in my space. It usually results in the legs being pulled together.

I do that too onlylover

Lots of great tips here I will be saving these for any time I see a man spreading in my vicinity!

YANBU. Fight the good fight, sister!

(LOL @ 'spready out men')

I had this issue last weekend. An ever so cheerful "Come on now gents, they aren't as big as you think they are. Close up" with accompanying sniggering from the others worked wonders

'he spready out man on a plane once had his arm WAY into my space.'

This was years and years ago, but a man did this to a woman in a cinema I was in. She picked up his arm and yelled, 'Whose hand is this and why is it on my body?' He moved seats pronto.

I'm a 6'2" man and find that my legs - all 3' of them - just don't fit on many buses. I have to sit with my legs spread but wedged in at an angle. I'm pretty sure I've had evil looks for doing this but don't feel I have much alternative. Both legs at the same diagonal just ruins my lower back. It's sod all to do with my ball size.

I'm sure many men do sit with legs spread for some kind of bollocky macho tip but it's not always the case. My knees hard up against the seat in front must be an obvious factor?

What would be the acceptable way for me to sit on a bus? And I won't even get into being wider on the shoulders than half a bus seat/tube seats/plane seats ( I do have to pull my shoulders round to the front a bit but it's not ideal).

An ever so cheerful "Come on now gents, they aren't as big as you think they are. Close up". Oh perfect, way better then my earlier suggestion.

I don't understand people who sit in the aisle seat on buses leaving the window seat empty. The aisle seat is where you risk mega handbags and rucksacks whacking you on the head/shoulder.

Well done OP. Now if you can find some magical solution to people forcing themselves onto an already crammed train I would love you forever. I actually fell myself getting panic/claustrophobic attacks recently. This morning really tall men pushed there way on and I was forced into the corner by the door and I could feel the panic rising in me I felt squashed and trapped, there was not even room to shift on my feet and my left arm was going numb as I was in an awkward position I must of been trapping a nerve or something in my arm. I did try to keep calm looking out the window but when I felt the train slowing coming into London Bridge I just thought gawd please don't stop outside for ages waiting for a platform I can't take.

Worst of all is no-one opens the feckign window and the humidity is horrible and just adds to my panic feeling. I do normally try to get into the aisle as you do get more space but lucked out this morning.

I'm going to have to organise a wee mother-son journey with 6'3 ds asap. So I can check if he does this. Then I can have a maternal word. I so want to channel expat. I have a big arse too. Train/bus seats in the UK are dreadful for tall people. I am 5'9 ish with said huge arse, and wide shoulders, and there never is enough space. My bollocks are tiny though and I've never felt the urge to spread my legs on public transport. I have dodgy knee too. The worst 'spreader' I ever knew was a friend who wasn't very tall - maybe 5'8/9 - I always assumed it was a macho thing with him.

OP..well done..sort of..but yes he would probably just assume you were making pass at him

Prole Welcome to 'men defending their balls' and/or their lower back.