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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why grown adults (men) are so stubborn about going to bed when they're obviously tired?

106 replies

ImBatDog · 02/02/2015 20:56

DH is tired, he's been snoring on and off for the last 30 minutes.. he started a new job recently and is adjusting to the new sleep routine, he's up from 5am in the morning, so by this time of night, is flagging.

but.he.will.not.go.to.fucking.bed!!!

"Go to bed if you're that tired" says i after listening to him snore for 30 minutes.
"No, its too early"
"Go to bed!" after another hour of it
"No, i want to finish my drink"

last week he spent nearly two hours trying to get rid of an annoying bit of skin on his finger around falling asleep and me repeatedly telling him to go to bed.. i swear the excuses why he won't just get stupid. Eventually i give up and go to bed myself about 10.30, and then he comes up 5 minutes after i've fallen asleep and disturbs me.

My dad used to do this as well.

ffs, if you're that fucking tired you can't stay awake for more than 5 minutes. GO TO FUCKING BED!!!

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 02/02/2015 20:58

xkcd.com/386/

BehindEveryCloud · 02/02/2015 20:58

Haha YANBU... Nice rant!

ithoughtofitfirst · 02/02/2015 20:59

My dad does it Grin

ithoughtofitfirst · 02/02/2015 21:00

Are you my mum?

IsabeauMichelle · 02/02/2015 21:01

Oh good lord. I complain about this very thing on a regular basis. And when they're ill... They would much rather lie around on the sofa drawing attention to themselves Hmm

Trills · 02/02/2015 21:01

When you say "men", are there any other men you are talking about or are you generalising from your DH and dad to the entirety of the male population?

BumWad · 02/02/2015 21:01

Yes! This is a battle with DH most nights! My sister is the same with her DH and SIL with my brother.

MaeMobley · 02/02/2015 21:03

Same with my DH.

slushie · 02/02/2015 21:04

Same with my dh.

Original poster
ImBatDog · 02/02/2015 21:05

Trills, almost everyone i've talked to about it agrees it seems to be more men than women that do it.

i'd rather sleep in my bed than on the couch!

OP posts:
cowbiscuits · 02/02/2015 21:05

Yes!!! DH stays up past midnight playing computer games, has to get up early next morning then is always complaining he's tired. But will he go to bed early? No. His argument is "this is the only I get time to myself, I need my downtime". He would rather be sleep deprived than miss out on playing silly computer games.

maltravers · 02/02/2015 21:06

Mine too

Chattymummyhere · 02/02/2015 21:06

Dh is the same...

9pm dozing on and off... Go to bed
No I'm not tired... You where sleeping!!... No I wasn't... Fine I'm going to bed then anyway...

He follows I watch TV and his asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow again Grin

MaxPepsi · 02/02/2015 21:06

My DH is doing exactly this right now. It only annoys me because he snores. Loudly!!

Original poster
ImBatDog · 02/02/2015 21:08

same here Max.. drives me nuts.

my mom used to turn everything off and leave dad in the dark, lol.. i'm not that mean, but i will just bugger off to bed and leave him there!

OP posts:
humlebee7 · 02/02/2015 21:09

This is my DH to a tee. I'm EXHAUSTED, I've got a splitting headache... Yes, go to bed. I go to bed at ten. He still up at midnight, drives me nuts as it disturbs me as I hear him clambering into bed later.

My dad is even worse. Snores loudly on the sofa after dinner - changes TV channel in his sleep, farts, highly irritating. My mum goes to bed, wakes up at 2am to find he's still asleep in his chair with all lights on, TV gone to standby and he's cold. He then dragged to bed, falls asleep again leaving my mum to toss and turn for hours. Then he's up again at 5am...

NeedaDiscoNap · 02/02/2015 21:09

I feel your pain OP - mine too! Moans from the second he crosses the threshold after work but will not go to bed. Or does go go bed, but faffs around on the iPad for ages and then struggles to get to sleep.

firefly78 · 02/02/2015 21:09

mine too. and hes crap at getting up.

Marshpillow · 02/02/2015 21:10

My DH does this.

Me: I'm going to bed, are you coming?
DH: nah it's too early
Me: okay would you mind getting ready for bed at least (meaning getting changed into bed clothes, take water upstairs, brush teeth etc) so you don't wake me up when you come up?
DH: yeah but I'm not coming to bed

Ten minutes later

DH: actually now I'm up here I might just come to bed.

This happens 90% of the time.

DartmoorDoughnut · 02/02/2015 21:11

DH is the same and so is my father, too annoying!!

WhenMarnieWasThere · 02/02/2015 21:11

OMG! I have this with DH.

Happily, they've just changed his hours at work now so his stupid (IMO) early start of 5am is history. But for 3 YEARS he's been getting up at half 4 to 5. But he WON'T go to bed early. He would fall asleep on the sofa and snore for an hour or two. Then not go to bed as he either no longer felt tired (no wonder, after a 2 hour nap) or he felt it was too early.

Drove me batty.

And will drive me batty again whenever they change his hours back again.

Original poster
ImBatDog · 02/02/2015 21:12

i chuck my dh's pyjamas over the stair gate we still have at the top of the stairs so he has to get changed on the landing, lol.

OP posts:
dementedma · 02/02/2015 21:12

Mine does it too. I have delighted in the past in turning the heating and lights off and leaving him there as he refuses to go to bed but will snore on the sofa thus ruining everyone's evening.

Janethegirl · 02/02/2015 21:13

It's got to be a man thing as mine's as bad!

BathtimeFunkster · 02/02/2015 21:13

I do this and I'm not a man.

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