AIBU to expect parents to keep autistic son safe in supermarket?

[middleagedbread]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2936089/Parents-seven-year-old-autistic-boy-asked-leave-Iceland-not-controlling-son-running-aisles.html

I've checked and can't see this thread started anywhere else. I think that the security guard was within his rights to ask both parents to supervise their son or leave store and I don't see where they were being discriminated against. The £20 'apology' from the store after they complained isn't enough it seems; they want com-pen-say-shun. Cue sadfaced pics in article. I am certain that, should their son have injured himself while not being supervised, these same parents would be featuring in an article about 'unsafe supermarket injured my child'.

Parents of autistic children have enough to cope with without these sort of negative articles.

I don't know, I do agree that if the boy does usually run up,and down supermarkets, or behaves u safely in a situation, he should be restrained, or removed. My dd is the same age as this boy and has ASD, if she was doing that, I would tell her not to ( she is high functioning), or remove us from the situation.

Enough non-disabled kids are prone to running amok in public places that it's hard to say that it's a strong trait of ASD kids that they will tend to do this more than any other kid. So very weak case for saying there's disability discrimination.

Yeah, I wonder how much they made selling their story to the DM.

So he was whacking the freezers while wearing a ring? The parents no matter what child should not allow that. They are in the wrong.

Aero, yes that's what I thought should happen. lljkk That's right, how could the security guard know that this child had special needs, He only sees the dangerous behaviour and takes steps to prevent an accident. I think that these parents are not doing either themselves, their child or other families with ASD children any good by playing the discrimination card. As aero explained, she would remove her child from a situation like that. There were two parents there so one of them could have taken their son out of the store while the other finished the shop (and maybe used the home delivery service too).

I don't believe its discrimination - it was a health and safety issue. The child could have easily hurt himself or someone else. Any child running about would have been told to leave. He wasn't singled out because of his disability

From experience I don't believe running about in supermarkets is particularly an ASD trait anyway.

If my son was not strapped in his sn buggy or on reins then he would do this.

(am not a lawyer): IIRC, people are still protected by disability rights legislation even if they have 'invisible' disabilities. So it doesn't matter whether the security guard or the store can tell the child is disabled, just by having discriminatory policies or practices they would be guilty.

Except that kids with ASD or other SN don't have a considerable monopoly on being naughty in public. So they aren't heavily over-represented among the norty kids, hence no discrimination against the disabled.

Anyway, store always has rights to protect its property from damage!

Clearly, it wasn't discrimination.

I hope Iceland give their full support to the poor staff that had to deal with this.

asd or not, if the child is putting other customers at risk then the parents should either restrain or remove the child.

As the mother of a disabled child (dx includes asd) I completely understand that children do not always behave as expected & society should be more accepting of difference but where there is risk of harm then safety must take priority.

Havent read the story but just to add that there are crap parents of disabled kids too ;)
Having a disabled child doesn't turn you in to a saint or a perfect parent.

Good point, mymate (last para)

Many unrestrained young children will run amok in supermarkets. I don't know for sure obviously, but I doubt they are all ASD.

Just over a week ago I was in our local Tesco and two fairly young children, a boy and a girl who looked as though they might still just about be pre-schoolers were climbing into the back of all of the toilet roll shelves and shoving the packs right off and across the aisle. The mum (I assume) came up and told them to put it all back. When they had she then actually told them that they could have another go and do it again , which I certainly thought was a ridiculously stupid very strange way of teaching them how to behave in a shop.

Not discrimination at all. My daughter is autistic and there's no way she'd ever be allowed to run around a shop like this. Having autism is not a free pass on parenting.

I totally agree mymate

I cannot answer this because it reminds me of when friends of ours had their autistic nephew at their son's christening. The priest asked them to take the child out of the church as he was being too noisy. The whole family were really upset. The parents really struggle getting out because of others critising their sons behaviour but they thought a family christening might have been a safe bet.

I think reasonable allowances have to be made and I cannot say for certain that they were made in this instance.

Why is a seven year old boy wearing a 'heavy ring'?!

Why do they both have to shop together? Why not have one parent stay at home with their son? my friend does this as her son who is Autistic hates the supermarket so much that he always has behaviour issues in there...she wouldn't put him through it!

I can't comment on the boy's behaviour because I didn't witness it.

But one thing I will say is I feel sorry for the poor kid, having his photo and 'story' splashed across the newspapers. In what world do parents think this is a good idea??

Also, if I was the security guard I'd be pretty pissed off at Iceland for giving them a £20 voucher, before investigating what went on.

It sounds like a kick it the teeth for the person doing their job.

just what i was thinking,if they know he behaves like this in a supermarket then one should go shopping,you do not need two to shop

they dont get any sympathy from me,and they have since been back to the shop no doubt to spend their £20 voucher so cant be that offended by Iceland

my lad has adhd and is being investigated for asd, he can't behave consistently in a supermarket because of the noise/hubbbub sends him into a meltdown situation or triggers his hyperactivity.

i dont take him!

its not fair on him or the other customers.

My DS has ASD, they were in the wrong.

*The parents that is.

My son his severely autistic.
I do take him shopping because he has to get used to the normal hubbub of life.
But he wouldn't be allowed to run around & cause chaos.

anothernumberone I think there's a big difference between a child being allowed to run up and down the aisles in a supermarket, banging on the glass doors of the freezers and a child making extra noise in church. I'm not surprised your friend's family were upset.