AIBU to expect parents to keep autistic son safe in supermarket?

[middleagedbread]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2936089/Parents-seven-year-old-autistic-boy-asked-leave-Iceland-not-controlling-son-running-aisles.html

I've checked and can't see this thread started anywhere else. I think that the security guard was within his rights to ask both parents to supervise their son or leave store and I don't see where they were being discriminated against. The £20 'apology' from the store after they complained isn't enough it seems; they want com-pen-say-shun. Cue sadfaced pics in article. I am certain that, should their son have injured himself while not being supervised, these same parents would be featuring in an article about 'unsafe supermarket injured my child'.

Parents of autistic children have enough to cope with without these sort of negative articles.

It looks like he's still got that bloody ring on too.

Random if you're referring to the pic of the boy on the dad's lap, it's the dad that has a wedding ring on. I don't see a ring on the boy's fingers at all.

And IMO the whole "com-pen-say-shun" is far too close to "speshul" to make me comfortable. hmm There's a definite implication there.

I think you are reading way too much into that ... It tends to be used when people are seen to be a bit chavvy or grabby

For example:

www.incrediblegroup.co.uk/

Fight I believe I said IMO. You can think I am reading way too much into it if you like. I don't believe I am. The OP was taking potshots at parents of a child with disabilities and then bemoaning all the guff that parents of children with disabilities get.

I don't think there is anything mean spirited about the thread.
Don't think there was anything wrong with the boys behaviour either, it's how the parents handled it.
It's not safe to have a child (autistic or not) running up and down aisles and shoving their hands in freezers. That's the point.

Typical reporting from the Daily Malicious!

People do try and claim i was on a 1st aid call young girl and fallen over and hurt herself, the mum didnt even come with her to make sure she was ok, mums friend did, made a big thing that the girl was walking nicely etc showed us where it happened etc then when back out on shop floor went on at the mum that she hd a right to 'claim' compo.
we looked back on cctv the girl had been running up and down sliding on the floor 3rd time she went over and wasnt where they told us it happened! The ladies were then caught shoplifting on way out! Icelands should havd cctv to back up the colleagues.

The parents didnt parent and because they didnt parent, they were asked to leave. If their child had injured themselves, they'd still be blaming iceland, because they didnt parent.

Op was making a point, that they are blaming their son's condition for their being ejected, when it was their lack of parenting that got them ejected.

Alice, you're right. Too many arms in the photograph!

So it's necessary to start a thread to slag off the parents of a disabled child? God forbid they had a bad day and struggled to deal with their child. For all we know, that might have been the third (fifth, tenth) meltdown that child has had today and the parents just weren't sure the best way to deal with it. Not great, but jeez people. One snapshot where they made an error in judgement and it's assumed they're shitty parents. Nice.

I think the harping on about how they can split up between them to deal with the groceries and children is overlooking that you don't know these people at all. I imagine a fair few people thought that when stbx and I took the dcs to the supermarket and ds1 had the inevitable mentdown. Of course, they didn't know that stbx was controlling and went to the supermarket regardless of my wishes. Or that he was abusive, so I couldn't leave him with either of the dcs, and that if I took the dcs to calm one of them down, he'd follow me, he would refuse to do the shop. But hey, I imagine quite a few just tutted at ds1's meltdown and said "oh I don't see why they don't just have one take the child outside or leave one at home." That would be because you don't know me or my situation, thanks.

Random I just looked at the size of the hands. Little boy, little hands. Otherwise with dad's arm, he looked a bit like an orangutan, and just not quite right. It did take a few minutes to sort though.

ASD or not, if your child is running up and down supermarket aisles and could potentially slip, knock over heavy items, break glass, etc, you should remove them from that situation. The security guard was worried that the child would hurt himself or other customers, it would have been discrimination if he KNEW that the child had ASD and if the child wasn't doing something potentially dangerous. Not saying that all children with ASD should be banned from supermarkets, but the parents could have dealt with the situation in a better way.

upandatem - Also re: the OP, do they really look like sad faces or are you just sneering at them

It wasn't my intention to offend you by stating the term sadfaced. It is a fact that this sort of article is damaging to the families featured, in particular the child who has no power over having his face plastered all over the internet and commented up on.

This family must have contacted the press over their treatment by Iceland and also must have agreed to have a journalist and photographer come to their home and pose them for pictures.

I am certainly angry that the parents have had no thought for their child when they courted publicity like this and permitted his photo in the article. They have their eye on the prize of com-pen-say-shun and are willing to use their child to get it. I use the termsadfaced to describe the type of parents who are happy to exploit their child like this.

up, do you think it's acceptable for two adults to permit their child to behave in a way that is unsafe? Really? are you that couple?

One snapshot where they made an error in judgement and it's assumed they're shitty parents. Nice.

At least 2 errors of judgement. The first was doing nothing to address the child's behaviour in the supermarket. The second was going to the press and allowing their son's photo to be published.

It's the second that makes them shitty parents.

FIight..no way is the DM being sympathetic towards the parents.

Faux sympathetic in a way that makes the parents look grabby and awful yes.

And I am a parent who doesnt let my autistic child rummage in freezer.

Still think it's a shitty article and don't love this thread.

"Who they have labelled disabled".

No. Who actually IS disabled.

I am pretty sure the staff in a iceland were probably really rude and unsympathetic to their child's needs so they naively went to their local paper and then the DM offered them.money promising to fight their corner and stand up for autism. And then didn't.

In Iceland. No idea why phone changed that to a iceland. I am slightly literate, honestly.

He hasn't been labelled disabled, he is disabled.

My son is a young man on the spectrum at the very severe end and when he was little he could be naughty just like any other child. I really do wish people could get over this idea of those on the spectrum not being capable of being little terrors, because they can (thank god). And I really do wish parents who take the easy way out when dealing with ASD and say 'oh let them do anything they want cos he or she can't help it' would just shut the fuck up instead of doing as this couple are doing.

They are an embarrassment to the rest of us.

Instead of doing as the DM said they are doing you mean.

I am really surprised that people who know what it's like to deal with ASD are so easily suckered in by this article.