Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't always make children move for adults on a bus?

163 replies

RocketInMyPocket · 30/01/2015 10:20

Was having a bit of a chit chat with some other mums this morning after dropping of ds.
We were talking about buses, and how people were inconsiderate on them etc.
It made me think of an incident that happened a year or so ago.
Ds was about 4, and dd was 2 and in her buggy.
We had been shopping in town all day, and got the bus home.
It was really packed, I was standing up with the buggy, and ds was sitting next to a lady on a chair near me. There were quite a few people standing.
A lady got on, and asked me if he was my son. I said yes, and she said 'Can you make him move up so I can sit down'.
Now she wasn't a small lady, and neither was the lady he was already sitting next to, he would've been crushed between them!!
I said, 'Well, not really, there isn't exactly room'.
Then she told me to make him move so she could sit down.
I told her no, he had been walking all day, his little legs were knackered and as the bus was so busy I didn't really want him standing, I thought it was much safer for him to be sitting down.
She started going mental about no respect these days blah blah blah.
She was only on the bus for 3 stops Hmm.
I have always made ds move on the bus for the elderly, or a pregnant woman etc, but do you think kids should always have to get up for adults on the bus?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 17:56

Again meaning buses are busy

Slowcommotion · 30/01/2015 17:58

ah yes, let's blame the elderly again ... .

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 17:59

I'm not blaming the elderly.

I'm. just saying that buses in the morning are crowded for a variety of reasons

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2015 18:02

Gileswithachainsaw Is it all right for free-passers to take an early bus if they are still working, perhaps part-time?

Or looking after their grandchildren so that their children can work?

Perhaps you think all the people old enough to have a free pass should know their place, which is at home when you want to take the bus!

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 18:02

And bus companies don't always cater for the route or time.

so send a double decker at half eleven when it's dead whilst everyone piled onto a single at nine o clock

MythicalKings · 30/01/2015 18:06

or when the elderly got their free passes and choose to use the first available bus at 9.01 full of school kids and workers despite having all day to do their shopping.

The reason they are not allowed on until then is because children should be in school by 9 and adults in work. That's how it is round here. No workers or schoolchildren on buses at that time.

Plenty of parents with buggies, shoppers and the elderly. And why not - or should they only be allowed out when you say so?

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 30/01/2015 18:06

The elderly have as much right as anyone to use the rush hour buses. I'm sure they don't do it through choice!

I found that if I had the buggy and a four year old the bet thing was to put him standing between me and the buggy so cocooned a bit by the handlebars and me. But ds would have a fit if I asked him to sit next to a stranger so it was always best to keep him with me.

Slowcommotion · 30/01/2015 18:09

Yes the buses can be overcrowed.

But the elderly people I know (my neighbours and my aunts and uncles) make an early start because they wake up at around 4am, get up at 5am, and then have to wait a long time before 9am, when they get out as soon as possible before their energy fails them.

(And incidentally, some of the bus drivers where my late elderly mother used to live used to drive abysmally with no thought for their passengers ie starting up and driving off fast around corners, before everyone had a chance to sit down.)

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if the worst comes to the worst, a small child falling over will come to a lot less harm than an elderly infirm person taking a tumble.

Obviously it's not safe for very young toddlers to be swaying about on a bus but their bums are at least quite close to the floor. Imho, any healthy child above the age of 4 should stand up for an adult.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 18:10

andrew the ones I see on my buses are literally just wandering around town shopping then going home.

They are free to do so when ever they wish but when you have got the same bus for years you'd think they'd know that it's usually busy so rather than moan loudly at anyone who will listen and turf kids out of the or seat why not just get a quieter one if you don't have to actually be anywhere

I see the same lot on a daily basis repeating the arguments with the over the four mins left til the pass kicks in.

It's actually quite amusing

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 18:18

I then hear all about the customer services conversation the next day Grin

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2015 18:19

Giles And how do you know what they are doing after they get home?

Just try being a bit more tolerant and remember that being older is the one change in our lives that we all want to make.

SauvignonBlanche · 30/01/2015 18:20

I have a disabled persons free bus pass, I cannot use it until 09:30, so can't use it to get to work on time, or in fact at all, as I have to pass a country border twice to get there.
That's fair enough though because disabled people, like me are all on benefits, aren't they and should keep out of the way at peak time? Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 18:22

usually the while bus knows what They are doing after Grin

I usually stand unless there's a seat right at the back I dont care about sitting.

don't worry I nod and smile and leave them the seats.

but you can't help but wonder why they do it to themselves sometimes.

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2015 18:23

Sauvignong Country or county? If country is that Scotland or Wales if you don't mind saying?

The London pass now operates all day - a few overground lines excepted where you have to wait till 09.00 or 09.30 - and I haven't noticed the sky fall in as a result.

sanfairyanne · 30/01/2015 18:27

it isnt a choice between the elderly and the young
both are vulnerable and more likely to be injured if they fell
no bus ever was full entirely of pensioners and preschoolers
get the able bodied middle aged to stand up

SauvignonBlanche · 30/01/2015 18:27

It's the England / Wales border Andrewoffgg, I can go from England to Wales but only for a journey that starts or finishes in my county, but, as there is no direct service that's not possible.

Good job there's an expensive train!

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2015 18:30

Sauvignon I suppose we should be glad there is no passport control or customs.Yet.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2015 18:31

And actually andrew

the same set of people I see on the bus are actually pretty rude tbh.

They argue with the driver before they have even had a chance to do anything. They push past people before they've had a chance to sit down and they moan loudly about anything and everything.

They don't even say excuse me as they push past me and tread on my feet to get out the door.

I

AllThePrettySeahorses · 30/01/2015 18:36

I may choose to stand up for someone who I perceive to be more in need of a seat than I am, but I would never expect a young child to stand so I (or anyone else really) could sit. The reduced fare argument is a red herring as well; it would also follow that you were under no obligation to stand so disabled or elderly people, for example, can sit down instead.

Mythical - just following your allegation that all adults should be in work at 9am - you have heard of shift work haven't you? Several members of my family and numerous friends have never worked 9-5 because they might work 3-11 or 6-12 or something instead. My last job was PA / company admin management and even in that my hours could be 10-7 of other variations. So yes, working adults may be going to work after 9am. Sorry, just a bugbear of mine!

itispersonal · 30/01/2015 18:42

I think the lady was bu. If she had asked the lady who was Sat next to your boy, was he her son and could he sit on her lap that would be reasonable. However asking you to ask him to stand where you too are also standing is unreasonable. Technically he is in your paid seat (as people are referring to paid bus ticket being worthy of gettin a seat)

My 2 pence worth on children moving on buses for an adult, is when the child could sit on an adults lap to make a space for an adult not the child having to stand so an adult can sit down.

I would however want an older child to stand for an adult if they were pregnant, elderly or disabled. As I would expect an adult too.

However in regards to seats in the house, I would expect a child, young/er adult to sit on floor/crappy chair/ stand so an elder adult could sit down. (obviously altering for disabilities, pregnancy again).

Original poster
RocketInMyPocket · 30/01/2015 18:48

Slowcommotion, the only way she could've sat on that seat with ds and other woman would have been to sit ON ds entirely, and probably be half on the other ladies lap as well.
And to the poster who was talking about kids not flying around on the old routemasters, I'm sure at least a few did! Are you honestly trying to say that you don't think a child has ever been injured on a bus before? I've hurt myself when a bus has braked sharply before.
And I also think people who are saying kids don't have as far to fall are missing the point.
What if someone fell on top of them? What if they fell over, and someone overweight stood on and broke their arm? Or their head?
It could happen?
Why on earth would you risk that?
For 'manners'? Especially in this case, where the woman had been pretty impolite to begin with.....

OP posts:
iamdivergent · 30/01/2015 18:48

I would have done the same as you op; I was flamed last year for asking this question (I didn't move my dd (5) from her paid seat so a teenage school pupil could sit) so it's heartening to see some others in your corner as such Smile

MythicalKings · 30/01/2015 19:47

Why didn't you put her on your lap, Rocket?

Original poster
RocketInMyPocket · 30/01/2015 19:51

I wasn't sitting down, I was standing up with buggy that had shopping bags on handles, so would've tipped if I let go of it.

OP posts:
Pandora37 · 30/01/2015 20:10

I hate this attitude that children should give up their seat to adults. I really don't get it, why should I get a seat just because I've been alive longer than them? Very strange. As an able bodied adult I wouldn't dream of asking another adult to give up their seat for me so I don't see why a child is any different, I'm quite capable of standing. I'm very sympathetic to children as I remember all too well the misery of having to traipse round town for what felt like hours and my legs killed. I absolutely hated standing on buses as a child so I'm not going to inflict that on anyone else.

Swipe left for the next trending thread