to think you shouldn't always make children move for adults on a bus?

[RocketInMyPocket]

Was having a bit of a chit chat with some other mums this morning after dropping of ds.
We were talking about buses, and how people were inconsiderate on them etc.
It made me think of an incident that happened a year or so ago.
Ds was about 4, and dd was 2 and in her buggy.
We had been shopping in town all day, and got the bus home.
It was really packed, I was standing up with the buggy, and ds was sitting next to a lady on a chair near me. There were quite a few people standing.
A lady got on, and asked me if he was my son. I said yes, and she said 'Can you make him move up so I can sit down'.
Now she wasn't a small lady, and neither was the lady he was already sitting next to, he would've been crushed between them!!
I said, 'Well, not really, there isn't exactly room'.
Then she told me to make him move so she could sit down.
I told her no, he had been walking all day, his little legs were knackered and as the bus was so busy I didn't really want him standing, I thought it was much safer for him to be sitting down.
She started going mental about no respect these days blah blah blah.
She was only on the bus for 3 stops .
I have always made ds move on the bus for the elderly, or a pregnant woman etc, but do you think kids should always have to get up for adults on the bus?

In London children go free until they are 16 - I don't think that's because it's assumed they will fit on a lap!

so arguably oaps should stand up for younger people. My parents have free bus passes, are in their 60s and less likely to be hurt standing than a 4 year old.

if someone said 'excuse me, would it be possible for me to have your DS' seat, I'm recovering from chemo/have cfs (or whatever), I would also move them, but otherwise no
Seriously?
You seriously think that a stranger on a bus should have to tell you their medical history so you can judge them worthy or not of a seat?

Bold fail, sorry

Calculators they should actually say 'I'm really sorry but I need to sit down'

I was quoting a poster upthread, failed to bold the post, I'm sorry.

I might sit a small child on my lap if practical, but no I would not expect a child to automatically give up a seat for an adult. I would however expect anyone to give up their seat to someone more in need. So , as an adult, who can easily cope standing on a tube, I would expect to offer my seat to a small child or frail elderly person.

I wouldn't want 5yo DD standing on a busy bus to give up a seat for an adult. If all the other seats were full then I'm sure someone else more able to hold onto the rails while the bus flings around a corner at high speed, could give up their seat.

I do put DD on my lap if the bus is busy and we purposely sit nearer the back to ensure seats on the flat are accessible to those who need them. If I was stood with a buggy and DD was sat nearby, I might get her to stand with with me holding onto the buggy for support but only if we were near-ish our stop. DD is too young to hold herself up on a moving bus.

Obviously once she's older, I would ask her to stand if asked as it's a polite thing to do.

YANBU

I would expect anyone to give up their seat to someone more in need

Yep, that pretty well sums it up for me. But not everyone does unfortunately

On our buses is a notice saying that children can travel at a reduced fare providing they do not occupy a seat when an adult is standing.

If it says the same on the bus in question the woman was perfectly within her rights to ask for a seat.

I just couldn't let my able children sit when an adult is standing, it just goes against everything I was taught and want to teach my children. This includes opening doors for other people, thanking people for gifts and serving adults food before children.

standing room is also usually at the front of a bus.

so you get your feet trampled on as people try and get on or off. You sometimes have to get off the bus then back on again. (would a child be quick enough or even be seen and bet back on)

school kids carry rucksacks so you get whacked with those too. sometimes you get flung against the side or a pole and hit your head if they brake suddenly. hell I've even seen the door to the drivers cabin fly open.

so, your asking for a small child to stand while a ten + stone man falls back onto them too.

why do people think it's just a case of kid holds on job done. I sometimes leave brushed from bus journeys. no frickin way would I make a child stand like that. I'd judge ant person who did too. because you clearly care more about how other people will fall over themselves to think what polite children you have, than their safety.

an able bodied adult can stand over a small child

Wheredoallthecalculatorsgo no of course not their medical history - but I'm not going to assume that someone who doesn't look in need might be unless they specifically say, if they said they had a 'medical condition' or couldn't stand up for long periods of time, it would have the same effect on my willingness to aid them.

bruised. not brushed

I don't think any child under 10 should stand for an adult. If the bus driver needs to brake suddenly,which is a daily thing around here,a standing child could be hurt more easily than a standing adult. We make sure children are safe in cars by using appropriate carseats,its not much different to having a child seated safely on a bus.

Then maybe they should pay full fare then no one would argue.

loads of adults pay reduced fare

so we should means test seats on bus now?

Maybe people on benefits should have to stand as well

If the bus regulations are that children travelling at reduced fare only do so if no adults are standing them the obvious solution is to pay full fare for your child to avoid arguments.

If I felt strongly that my child should have a seat even though adults were standing that's what I'd do.

Sorry , why is it harder for a 4 yo to stand and hang on than an overweight middleaged woman.? I teach gymnastics and I can tell you a 4 yr old has a much better strength to weight ratio than an adult (unless very fat they can all easily hang from bars and monkey walk sideways across the bar), and also their centre of mass is much lower making it easier and safer
On another note has your kid even paid for a ticket?

I haven't noticed children jumping up to do this. One time, I was 8 months pregnant, and obviously so, and was on a long distance train. Nobody, including a couple of children of around 10, offered me their seat. When a seat fell vacant, I literally had to race for it down the aisle against a young man racing in the opposite direction.

Mythical It is not all about fares. If regulations said you as an adult were entitled to a seat but a child has to stand you are allowed to give up your right to a seat, out of compassion - if you think the child (especially a small 4 yr old) may get trampled on, fall over, or be worried they were doing the wrong thing being told to get out of their seat by a stranger.

A lot of people would do this without a second thought. So it becomes a norm. Rather nice IMO....

Well even if they are. They are still face level for back packs and less likely to be seen than said middle aged overweight woman.

who cant see a 4 year old?