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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think 16 kids on benefits

294 replies

judgejudithjudy · 29/01/2015 20:19

Should have cleaner/tidier houses seeing as they don't work? I'm a sahm with severe disabilities (supported by dh - no hand outs) & I keep my house clean.

Ps this isn't just about people on benefits - it just so happens I'm watching it on TV now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Dawndonnaagain · 30/01/2015 14:33

Curly Glad you like it! I'll suggest some more another time! Grin

Homepride1 · 30/01/2015 14:47

I think the benefits bashing on this thread is wrong but I do understand and agree with some of what's being said about the filth and the neglect the school picked up on!

I watched the programme and was shocked that Kayleigh was on there! I am a single mother of 4 and don't consider myself to have a over large family and wondered if people think of me like some on here do?

I'm no longer on benefits I'm now on maternity leave and for past five years I have worked part time while raising my family. But for 3 years when my marriage broke down I was on full benefits until my children were old enough for school.

The state of the houses have nothing to do with being on benefits, I cleaned for many years and one of the filthiest houses I ever used to do belonged to a professional couple with one teenage child, anyone can have a dirty house, it might be down to pure laziness but it could also be down to a mental health problem.

natureplantar101 · 30/01/2015 15:28

i grew up in a messy dirty house and it was living hell still don't get why SS failed me in the way they did i was on a protection register from the age of 7 till 15 Sad it is evil and unnecessary to raise your kids like that the floors were always filthy the kitchen had mould and general grime everywhere me and my brother had to wear shoes in the house at all times otherwise socks would be so dirty they'd have to be binned amd worst of all i was bullied like hell because of the unimaginable stench that came from my clothesSad as a result im a normal functioning adult and keep the house moderately clean but still have a fear of my feet being dirty or smelling bad. stuff like that stays with your kids forever all for the sake of getting out a hoover and washing the dishes

VictorineMeurent · 30/01/2015 15:33

I thought the same when I saw part of the programme last night. The children's bedrooms looked very grubby. Most people try to make children's bedrooms nice for them and if people love children and want to make a largish family the biggest part of their life I would have thought cleanliness would have been apriority

MrsDeVere · 30/01/2015 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curlyweasel · 30/01/2015 15:55

Ah, I see. She's not one of those sort of benefit claimants/SAHMs.

Original poster
judgejudithjudy · 30/01/2015 16:14

I also lived in a clean house but my mum never bothered helping me do my hair & having fine fly away hair, it stood up on end & was bullied. When it came to my school uniform, it was always too small. Did the school care? No.

So maybe living in a dirty house but with a mother that turns you out nicely is better.

OP posts:
ghostspirit · 30/01/2015 16:44

it think the term breeding is disrespectful and quite nasty...

i think sometimes kids/teens also go through a stage of being a bit smelly. when both of my kids reached about 11-12 years i had to really nag them about keeping clean and using deodorant.

also some kids get dirty easy when they are playing

Original poster
judgejudithjudy · 30/01/2015 16:46

Mrs devere - I had a hideous riding accident & get the huge sum of £22.50 a week after earning 28k a year. I'm looking to go back to work despite my disabilities as we simply can't afford to live.

OP posts:
teawamutu · 30/01/2015 16:53

That sounds awful, and I sympathise. I don't think your personal experience excuses your nasty attitude or the contemptuous language, though.

LineRunner · 30/01/2015 16:54

Why do you use words like 'breeding'?

MrsDeVere · 30/01/2015 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
judgejudithjudy · 30/01/2015 17:33

I'm not judging people on benefits & apologise for using the word breeding. I'm judging those who have time to at least keep the house clean (ish) & not let there kids live in squaller.

I will appeal the dla but would prefer to try & work despite my disabilities which include severe head injuries, so much so I have to write down nappy changes & if I've fed them or not but I still keep the floors &; kitchen to a decent standard. It takes 10 minutes to run the hoover round.

OP posts:
Original poster
judgejudithjudy · 30/01/2015 17:34

Nature planter 101 I'm so sorry to hear that - does it still affect you now? X

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 30/01/2015 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

natureplantar101 · 30/01/2015 17:58

Yes it does i get really narked when i see programmes and families like this they dont realise how being slatternly and grubby really affects their kids at the same time i can leave the dishes for a few days and wash them all at once and ill let the laundry pile up a bit but floors and carpets have to be spotless or it annoys me Sad its just me and DP atm though so makes sense otherwise id be washing 2 dishes at a time and washing a tiny load of clothes each day and wasting water once we have DC it will be everyday no exception

Iloveaverycosheshubbahubba · 30/01/2015 17:59

I have made a couple of comments already. But here's my real twopenneth. I am currently a sahm due to ever decreasing health. My home now looks perfectly trashed and I struggle to keep it properly clean anymore. My asd son's room is appalling and I sob when I go in there. Dh works long hours and tries his hardest to help out. And as for running the hoover around 10 minutes is what it would take me to get the damn thing out before needing another rest. So please do not judge others until you have lived their life!

notonyourninny · 30/01/2015 18:11

The programme was made in such a way so that people would judge. Lady in brum with 7 dcs was living in very poor housing condidtions, really felt for her actually. As she rightly pointed out the dads should be supporting their children. I don't envy her, 7 dcs, on benefits, little support, absent father... She looked depressed. I did think fix that bloody door or take it off though!!

Lady with five dcs seemed to cope well. The lady with disabled partner, must be teally hard on her and him.

angeleyes72 · 30/01/2015 20:53

I really felt for lady with 7 dc too. If you live in poor housing it must be doubly difficult to keep it clean.

angeleyes72 · 30/01/2015 21:50

so op you are not judging benefits just sahms. I hate programs like this with a passion. Constant use of the words benefits, handouts. paid for by taxpayers etc.

ghostspirit · 30/01/2015 22:26

if it was not benefot bashing then it would not have needed to be mentioned. why not just say why do some parents not tidy their house well or somthing if it was just about messy houses why mention anything else other than that

Original poster
judgejudithjudy · 31/01/2015 10:17

Because I was watching the programme at the time (sigh)

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 31/01/2015 10:22

I'm judging those who have time to at least keep the house clean (ish) & not let there kids live in squaller. (sic)

Why would you judge anyone when you are unaware of their circumstances, that in itself is a unpleasant trait. By your standards my disabled dd should be a paralympian, she isn't but why wouldn't she be, other people with disabilities do...
Hmm

MumsyFoxy · 31/01/2015 10:26

YANBU

teawamutu · 31/01/2015 11:34

"Because I was watching the programme at the time (sigh)"

Bull. Shit. If you're going to backtrack, try for something vaguely convincing.