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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think 16 kids on benefits

294 replies

judgejudithjudy · 29/01/2015 20:19

Should have cleaner/tidier houses seeing as they don't work? I'm a sahm with severe disabilities (supported by dh - no hand outs) & I keep my house clean.

Ps this isn't just about people on benefits - it just so happens I'm watching it on TV now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
LineRunner · 30/01/2015 10:19

What's 'control to breed'?

DixieNormas · 30/01/2015 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 30/01/2015 10:54

If it's nothing to do with benefits, why mention benefits and "handouts" in your first post and why mention the "free car" later in the thread? Motability cars aren't even anything to do with the cleanliness of a house.

And it's not like you've dropped the inflammatory language with the word "breed".

I wouldn't dispute the need to keep a house clean enough. There's lot of reasons why people struggle with that, though, particularly in poorly maintained rented accommodation. I can also think of many valid reasons why someone on a limited income would struggle to keep clothes clean, too. When my washer breaks, terminally, or gets to that point where it's half working and unreliable, I can go online and order a new one without worrying about how to pay for electricity or food for the next 2 months. If I see detergent on offer, I can afford to buy a load of it and stash it in the garage. If the weather's crap, I can afford the electricity to tumble dry everything, rather than have it hanging round an already damp and poorly heated house, going musty.

And we can afford the hot water for everyone in the family to have a bath or shower, when they fancy one (so long as no one else is having one, since we just have the one bathroom).

SoonToBeSix · 30/01/2015 11:04

Dawn family fund is great it only supports disabled people under 18's though.

TooHasty · 30/01/2015 11:42

The Ratcliffe family (who support their family through their family bakery) children and house looked clean enough to me

expatinscotland · 30/01/2015 11:51

'The Ratcliffe family (who support their family through their family bakery) children and house looked clean enough to me'

LOL. They are fucking coining it on Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit. She was bloody fourteen and pregnant to a 17-year-old man, they rely heavily on their parents and older girl children for childcare assistance and their daughter is an unmarried teen mum. Wahey, that's something to really glorify.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 30/01/2015 11:52

It's in your title OP

But whatever, YABU to judge these people. If you don't work you should have a tidy house. If you do work you are allowed to have an untidy house. Says you.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 30/01/2015 11:54

"Continue to breed"

Hmm
GratefulHead · 30/01/2015 11:57

...and she's back...starting yet another goady thread that no doubt she won't return to,

Think MNHQ need to take a look at this particular poster....something somewhere smells of bullshit,

ilovechristmas1 · 30/01/2015 11:58

until you see the state of one of the houses on the programme i think it's hard to judge

it was grim though

ThePrincessBride · 30/01/2015 11:59

Continue to breed? Confused

GratefulHead · 30/01/2015 12:01

Or perhaps the people in question have disabilities if some kind themselves....especially some of the invisible ones. Then again I guess it doesn't count if you are not in a wheelchair.

I have a friend with dyspraxia and ADD, organisation is just a closed book to her...she would love a clean and tidy house but with a disabled child and no bloody help it isn't going to happen for her any time soon. Then again she wouldn't go on TV either....because the world is ful of judgemental bitches like the OP who have not got a fucking clue about what some people have to cope with,

Iloveaverycosheshubbahubba · 30/01/2015 12:01

Judge you used the word benefits in you title. If you didn't want them to get talked about then why use the word in the first place Hmm

Iloveaverycosheshubbahubba · 30/01/2015 12:02

And don't use the word breed it's highly unpleasant!

ShumbTucker · 30/01/2015 12:03

Judith "It's about sahm who live in filth & control to breed!"

Can only SAHM clean or are the fathers too busy? They also cant "breed" without them but I'm sure they are absolved of that responsibility too. Womans place is in the wrong a

Tax payer here (so my opinion is valid Wink), frankly I'm all out of fucks to give about the state of someone's home because 'ya know its none of my business.

Wantsunshine · 30/01/2015 12:08

I didn't see the programme but no the house shouldn't be dirty. The poor child being berated due to her parents no bitching to keep he clear with washed clothes that's really sad. The parents if on benefits have all day to clean and have no excuse really.

TooHasty · 30/01/2015 12:43

'They are fucking coining it on Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit'

the programme said they only got child benefit? which I think (not 100% sure) was universal at the time the programme was made.

She was bloody fourteen and pregnant to a 17-year-old man and they are still happy and married living the life she wanted for herself, so I am not sure what your point is?

Wantsunshine · 30/01/2015 13:01

My post should have said not bothering rather than not bitching! And should have said her clean not clear.

SoonToBeSix · 30/01/2015 13:04

The radcliffes do get tax credits .

SoonToBeSix · 30/01/2015 13:05

Not saying that's a bad thing btw.

Fleetfoxes · 30/01/2015 13:23

My house is a complete and utter shit hole, my hair is a mess and most of my clothes have holes in them.

My DSD and DD are happy, they are both very well clothed, well fed and loved and quite frankly as a busy working mother that is all I give a shit about. If my house offends you then I can show you where the Hoover and dusters are. Crack the fuck on

curlyweasel · 30/01/2015 13:33

Hm. This is interesting. I grew up in a neglectful home or should I say house (it never felt like a home). Not just clutter, or piss smelling clothes, but real, real FILTH. My mum didn't work. She could have cleaned (she made us do it sometimes if anyone important was due to come to the house) or maintained the cleanliness after we'd done it. She didn't. The ramifcations of that for me were enormous. I was ostracised at school. Could never have friends (what I had of them) round. Was routinely bullied by both my peers and teachers (who all seemed to think it was my fault). The impact of living like that is long term. It makes you terribly insecure, unable to maintain healthy relationship, depression, anxiety and so on.

My mum had mental health issues. These were never dealt with. I think that had she been given support early on, things might have been different.

I understand what you're saying on some level OP. But, you seem to be implying that it's just down to laziness, which isn't always the case.

Just hope this is a bit of insight from a child's perspective too.

Dawndonnaagain · 30/01/2015 13:54

and yet curly my incredibly abusive childhood home was spotless because I had seven shades of shit beaten out of me if it wasn't. School took no notice because the bitch faced whore from hell that gave birth to me was head of one of the feeder schools, apparently she was lovely, funny, lively, her daughter was a bit of an attention seeker, made things up, used to do odd things like throw herself down the stairs for attention. Poor middle class, double-barrelled surnamed headteacer/mama just couldn't figure it out. Lying bitch. Angry Amazing how far a nice accent and tidy house can get you!

curlyweasel · 30/01/2015 14:00

Dawn Sad. You're my ying (or yang).

Hey - to lighten it up a little bit - I'm LOVING The Night Circus.

kennyp · 30/01/2015 14:10

i could imagine that the production company turned up earlier than the family expected, just so that they could be caught unaware.

if you turned up on my doorstep unaware my house doesn't look particularly clean or tidy so someone could be judgey towards me. why am i sitting on my arse watching telly when i could be washing the kitchen floor?