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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by all this boring nonsense?

301 replies

FlowerPuff · 29/01/2015 14:27

I’m 29 and this post concerns my oldest ‘friend’. We were always very close, met at school. Both live in London. She got married in December and asked me to be bridesmaid. I was seeing someone and he was obviously my plus one. We split up 2 weeks before the wedding and my friend was quite supportive to be fair and came to see me etc, cooked and stuff like that. What annoyed me at the time (although I didn’t say anything) was that a few days before the wedding I asked if I could take a date and she refused on the basis that she had already given her table plans to the venue but I could bring a friend or my mum if I wanted to? Hmm What difference would a date have made?

On the wedding day she was very nice but it seemed to me that she tried deliberately not to be all ‘me me me’ and gave out presents to us, let her husband talk about how amazing she was etc and it was all a bit showy and reverse showing off about how amazing her life is. Don’t get me wrong, they are very happy together and he is lovely but there was no thought to my recent break up. She even asked me on the night “if I was ok?” Hmm. Kind of got on my nerves to hear how amazing she is from everyone all night. Every single conversation with her friends was all about how she is the best thing since sliced bread. Surely there is more to life than this?

Since the wedding we have been out and she didn’t drink (she’s not pregnant). I love her but I just feel she has completely changed as a person. AIBU to say something?

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 29/01/2015 15:24

I also am not getting how you claim to be so devastated over this break-up and wanting special consideration but are already back to dating? None of this makes sense.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 29/01/2015 15:24

OP there may be lots of reasons why she is a bad friend that you haven't actually told us about. But based on the information in your OP and your subsequent posts YABVVU. I don't think you will accept that though Smile

silveroldie2 · 29/01/2015 15:24

Hate to be repetitive but when needs must:

I would shut the fuck up if I were you. With each subsequent post you sound more and more ridiculous, jealous and self obsessed.

Altinkum · 29/01/2015 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FlowerPuff · 29/01/2015 15:25

Sometimes relationships are complicated. It is possible to know something isn't right but also feel blo0dy gutted when they end.

OP posts:
Thehedgehogsong · 29/01/2015 15:26

Please ditch your friend, you'll be doing her a favour.

I ditched a friend just like you. Best thing I've ever done. Everything was always about her and she was a bit of a fruit loop, getting cross and stroppy over the tiniest things because she was green through and through!

GraysAnalogy · 29/01/2015 15:26

In fact she would have met him before the wedding if she'd been at my birthday (i forget the reason she couldn't come but i'll leave that bit unsaid)

Oh so another thing she's apparently done to wrong you.

You really don't like her much do you?

Original poster
FlowerPuff · 29/01/2015 15:27

God forbid anyone who goes on a night out and not drink alcohol, what a horrible friend she clearly is.

That i don't mind, i don't always drink either. Just don't tell me you're not drinking when a pic is on your minifeed of you drinking only the night before with your 'married friends'. Their 'in-joke' not what i call them.

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 29/01/2015 15:27

The title of your thread says it all this is all "boring nonsense" by you not your friend.

QweenCnut · 29/01/2015 15:28

How do you know what she was drinking OP?

Nancy66 · 29/01/2015 15:28

I bet she didn't flow her bouquet at you either did she?

Or invite you along on the honeymoon?

she sounds a right cow.

RainbowCake · 29/01/2015 15:29

This is one of the maddest threads I have read on here.
If this isn't a reverse and even then it makes no sense. Why oh why did you even attend the wedding? it sounds like you are bitter and jealous and don't don't even like you're friend that much.
You are coming across as very hard work.

WizardOfToss · 29/01/2015 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ptumbi · 29/01/2015 15:30

OP - you just don't like that she had a lovely day, she didn;t actually think about you much (other than 'are you OK?' when she should have known that you weren't...ON HER OWN WEDDING DAY) didn't think about your needs enough when seating you and left you looking like a plum deliberately!!!!!, didn't let you bring new squeeze (who you either do or do not know well, and either talked about him loads to her beforehand or not) and basically she was really, really selfish on her own wedding day by not thinking enough about you.

Is that it?

Original poster
FlowerPuff · 29/01/2015 15:30

QweenCnut - she drank elderflower presse all night - we alternate rounds.

I just don't appreciate being made to feel like a poor unfortunate loser when she gets up to all sorts with other friends, yet acts all adult with me?! Seems contrived, thats all.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 29/01/2015 15:31

I'd hazard a guess the reason she went out a few days earlier and didn't invite was because.... well, because you really aren't coming across as a very good friend at all.

Or even a vaguely nice friend.

emotionsecho · 29/01/2015 15:31

You really are the green eyed monster, aren't you OP?

So she went out for a drink the night before and didn't fancy drinking two nights in a row, big deal.

For your friends sake end this friendship, although with the way you are carrying on I suspect it won't be long before that decision is taken out of your hands.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 29/01/2015 15:31

So she doesn't want to drink with you because you're not married? This gets weirder and weirder. Maybe she was hungover from the night before and couldn't drink? Maybe she had no money left? Maybe she wasn't drinking the night before and was just pretending to as she is pregnant or TTC? Don't understand why it's relevant that she drank (maybe) when out with them but not when out with you.

Please do you both a favour and ditch her as a friend. Sounds like you'll probably both be happier.

fatherpeeweestairmaster · 29/01/2015 15:34

I'm trying to imagine someone speaking the OP's posts aloud with a straight face... and I can't.

Kewcumber · 29/01/2015 15:35

There about as many reasons not to drink as there are types of drink:

Already drunk too much that week
TTC and trying to cut down
Generally drinking too much and want to cut down
Early start next day
Big meeting next day
Plan to ravish DH later

None of which are any reflection on you. I think you are so bitter about the fact that she is marreid and you aren't that you have lost all ability to think straight where she is concerned.

Go make some single pisshead friends and leave the poor woman in peace.

Alternatively there is something we are all missing and she's a total self obsessed bitch and you should dump her.

HedgehogsDontBite · 29/01/2015 15:36

You are absolutely right, she should have redone the seating plan to take you into account. She should have put you on the kids table and given you a colouring book and some crayons to play with.

alwaysstaytoolong · 29/01/2015 15:36

You are projecting your feelings onto her. She doesn't think you're a poor unfortunate lose - that's how you are feeling.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 29/01/2015 15:37

So what are you going to do about the fact that she's such a bad friend OP?

hotfuzzra · 29/01/2015 15:40

Only drinks once a week now apparently to save money yet went out with her other friend two nights before and i saw pics on fb of her drinking.

And then

*God forbid anyone who goes on a night out and not drink alcohol, what a horrible friend she clearly is.

That i don't mind, i don't always drink either. Just don't tell me you're not drinking when a pic is on your minifeed of you drinking only the night before with your 'married friends'. Their 'in-joke' not what i call them.*

She told you she was only drinking once a week. She'd already had her go that week. Wtf?

Sorry but I've got to leave this soul-destroying thread as I've got loads of things to do with my married friends and my interesting life.
(Do the dish washer a change a nappy)

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 29/01/2015 15:43

Please OP stop speaking being 'friends' with your friend - you will be doing her favour. You are incredibly hard work.

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