Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To raise my eyebrow at DD's school 'punishment'?

135 replies

chaosagain · 28/01/2015 16:22

DD is 5 and in year 1. She had to miss 10 minutes of her morning playtime today after getting a yellow card yesterday and then doing the same thing again shortly afterwards. Her offence: reading a book when she was being asked to do something else/tidy up.

I get that she needs to learn to listen and I also get that it can be important that we (are seen) to support school decisions to her.. but REALLY? Sitting out of playtime is a big deal to her and the first time she's not been on the 'green card' for her behaviour this year. She was going to have this 'time out' with 2 other boys who each had 5 mins for fighting. She was really worried about it this morning, trying to find a way to not go to school etc.

She and I talked about how you just have to face things that are a little bit worrying and understand that there are consequences to your behaviour. The teacher was asking you to do things and you didn't do them. She told me that the book she was reading was just so good that she didn't hear the teacher. I get frustrated by this complete absorption of hers at home, but also recognise that she just doesn't hear me unless I go and make physical contact by touching her hand, shoulder etc.

I don't think this is worth taking up with the school and we should probably help her chalk it up to life experience but I keep thinking: 'can it be right to discipline a child (at 5) for getting lost in a book/for READING?!'

OP posts:

DharmaBumpkin · 28/01/2015 16:24

She's not being disciplined for reading though. She's being disciplined for not listening / not helping out with class tasks like tidying.

Pootles2010 · 28/01/2015 16:25

Well yes of course - wonderful though reading is, she needs to learn to listen!

I think the main thing they learn at that age is how to listen, follow what you're supposed to be doing etc. She was warned as well.

Gen35 · 28/01/2015 16:26

I agree I think she got disciplined for not tidying up. Although she was doing something else she still has to listen to the teacher whatever she's doing at the time.

NorwaySpruce · 28/01/2015 16:26

Well I guess they have to, because 90% of the class would rather be reading than tidying up/singing/doing PE or whatever.

They really need all 30 children to do as they are asked straight away, without prompting or dawdling.

Caronaim · 28/01/2015 16:27

Her punishment is for not paying attention, and not following instructions. It is a very small punishment. if she continues to not pay attention and not follow instructions it will have serious consequences for her education.

TwinkieTwinkle · 28/01/2015 16:27

YABU. Doesn't matter whether she is absorbed in a book, a game or talking to a friend; she wasn't doing what she was supposed to be doing. She was punished for not doing as she was told, she can't be allowed to get away with it because she was reading. Fair enough, it's good for children to read and it's brilliant that she loves it but she should have been tidying up with the rest of her class, not partaking in a hobby and leaving them to do the work.

Justwhy · 28/01/2015 16:27

The reading is immaterial. She was by following instructions. I imagine the teacher has asked her more than once on more than one occasion.

Justwhy · 28/01/2015 16:28

not following instructions.

captainfarrell · 28/01/2015 16:28

This is usual. 5 mins for each misdemeanour. It's a way of getting the children to learn that they need to listen to instructions, for their own safety and so they can learn. Don't worry about it, it won't be noted down anywhere on her record. For most children, it happens once or twice and they quickly learn what to do. Unfortunately for others it's a daily occurrence.

Floggingmolly · 28/01/2015 16:28

Reading the book wasn't the problem. Choosing to read a book when you've been told it's tidy up time is a problem, and unless I've misread your op she did the same thing again having been spoken to the first time??
It's not ok to get lost in a book that you've been warned against picking up in the first place twice

SocksRock · 28/01/2015 16:29

This is the same system that our school use, and it works really well for behaviour management. My DD1 is in a mixed yr1/2 class of 32 and the teacher needs them all to do what they are told when they are told. So I would say YABU.

40somethingwonderful · 28/01/2015 16:29

Sorry YABU

She needs to learn to listen to instructions and do as she has been told. It's a small punishment, one that will hopefully make her follow instructions in future.

Hulababy · 28/01/2015 16:30

She isn't being punished for reading.
She had time out for not listening and not helping tidy up, or not doing as the teacher has requested.

She surely saw 29 other children stood up tidying the class, even if she didn't hear initially??

Tbh most children would rather still stay doing their own thing than being asked to tidy up at the end of a session. However we can't just let them do what they want all day. And it isnt the job of the other 29 to tidy up for your dd.

Original poster

chaosagain · 28/01/2015 16:31

Good points. She's so keen to please the teacher normally and loves getting stickers for brilliant tidying I think it wasn't that she chose not to listen, just that her focus on the book was such that she wasn't able to hear. Is that a more serious transgression than fighting? She noticed she had twice the time the two other kids had for hitting each other.

It may have backfired in any case. She just told me it wasn't so bad after all, that it was nice to have some quiet time in the warm and that she has 5 mins time-out from break tomorrow too but currently won't tell me what it was for. Hmmmm.

OP posts:

PtolemysNeedle · 28/01/2015 16:31

Your dd wilfully chose to ignore an instruction. Twice. By year 1, she is old enough to know that will get her told off.

The fact that she was reading is completely irrelevant.

The punishment was fine IMO.

YouTheCat · 28/01/2015 16:33

We also use a green/amber/red card system with the younger children.

She'd been asked twice. She got an amber for not listening the first time and it was moved to red the second. Sounds perfectly fair to me. Imagine a whole class of children that need asking 2 or 3 times to do something and how that would impact on teaching time.

jamaisjedors · 28/01/2015 16:34

OK. Project yourself 20 years from now, DD is now working full-time.

During the day she forgets to go to a meeting because she is reading a book.

You still think this is acceptable?

Or is this just a stealth boast because she's such a good reader at 5?

This sounds a bit harsh but I was that sort of child and it didn't do me any favours long-term.

Original poster

chaosagain · 28/01/2015 16:34

Lots of good points, clearly I need to let it go. Just to be clear, I've completely backed the teacher up when talking to DD about it!

OP posts:

bumbleymummy · 28/01/2015 16:34

I actually don't think you are being unreasonable. The boys got 5 mins for fighting and your DD got 10 mins for not hearing her teacher? I've gotten lost in things before and I'm not 5 years old. I think it's a bit harsh.

Brightideas · 28/01/2015 16:36

Schools are NOT ALLOWED to restrict play times as punishment - whatever the 'crime' (reading vs listening/ tidying up, not completing work, etc.). It's wrong.
I'm a teacher. We all know this. Is her teacher new?

bumbleymummy · 28/01/2015 16:38

Really brightideas? Is that a government policy? DS has lost playtime before for not behaving.

Hurr1cane · 28/01/2015 16:40

Schools are allowed to. Your school might not be allowed to, but it's not a general rule that they aren't.

hackmum · 28/01/2015 16:40

If I was a home educator, this is the point at which I'd say "Thank God I'm home educating."

As I'm not, however, all I'll say is that it's depressing to see how many people think the role of school is to teach children to follow instructions and to punish them for not doing so. At five, ffs.

YouTheCat · 28/01/2015 16:41

Ours uses playtime sanctions - and we've been recently inspected. I've never heard it not being allowed.

Original poster

chaosagain · 28/01/2015 16:42

Brightideas - what do you mean by 'not allowed'?

Seems to be this school's system (although first time I've become aware of it)

I'm not convinced by any of it. I'd have thought that the system with warnings is meant to give a child a chance to reflect and change their behaviour - i.e. a learning opportunity. The warning then punishment sound like they were just a few minutes apart so I'm not sure she heard the warning and therefore missed the chance to reflect.

Also - for a girl who suddenly seems less keen on sport/PE etc than she has been before (she was delighted when her kit went missing one week and she got to sit out), reducing her physical outdoor play might reinforce her new anti-physical activity thing.

No, teacher not new. She is at least 5 yrs post NQT.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread