to ask mums of toddlers not to use screens in places that aren't appropriate.

[getoffmybramblepatch]

I went out for a meal with dh yesterday without our children. We do take them out for meals often and our 20 month old is usually really well behaved because he has been taught to be. If he ever does get impatient we just talk to him at a level appropriate for the dinner table and maybe give him some colouring in to do or have a game of I spy.
either way, we try to communicate with him to keep him calm and we'll behaved at all times, for our own sanity as much as everyone else's.

Yesterday we were enjoying our child free meal until a family arrived at a table on the other side of the room and a child of about the same age wouldn't settle. Nothing was said to this child.. No discipline, no chat, the first line to come from mum and dad was "here, watch pepper pig". Out comes the tablet and on comes pepper pig so loud to the point where I can't hear myself think. It would have been quieter if we had stayed at home with our dc and this is usually a nice place.
I've seen it happen a lot lately, and pepper pig seems to be programme of choice. Aibu to think that I don't give a toss about the rod you are making for your own backs, but to let these parents know how irritating it is when this is your first resort in places that have etiquette?

eliotausten I agree.
My 2&1/2 year old is very bright but doesn't really get I spy.
She will colour for 30 seconds but also isn't that interested in it.
Its only recently, at the age of 5, that my DS has started enjoying colouring.

From what I've read of OP's previous posts, her child is actually a girl and the problem here is she's comparing the behaviour of a little boy to her DD's behaviour.
I don't know anybody with a DS who will say that they are well behaved in a restaurant.
Girls and boys are TOTALLY different. Girls often will sit quietly looking at a book or the menu, colouring, playing with their dolly etc.
Boys often just don't have it in them to do it until they're older.

The idea that you would most likely be abused for politely asking someone to turn the volume down because it's disturbing you is crazy. Where do you live that the majority of people are so aggressive? It's equally as likely that the parents would be really embarassed because they were stressed out and didn't realise that the volume was loud enough to disturb other people - its not always easy to judge because some people are more sensitive to noise than others. Talk about assuming the worst of everyone. I tend to assume that the majority of people are actually fairly reasonable and it has worked fine for me so far.

You know what zzzz,true life experience here,

Quad erat demonstrandum!

Actually from what I can see her child has changed sex, become younger and she's got married.

So? I think sometimes people do change small things that won't affect the gist of a story in order to avoid being identified don't they?

I think the piling in to give the OP a good kicking in any shape or form has become a bit nasty now.

OP, the lesson here is - if you are going to judge something (as well all do) then for god's sake keep it off Mumsnet!

Concrete I wondered about the differences between the genders in this.

I have definitely noticed that little girls my DS' age are much more keen on sitting quietly with a book/colouring than he is.

Maybe its just down to the child but I certainly have noticed it in my own experience.

I don't know anybody with a DS who will say that they are well behaved in a restaurant.
Girls and boys are TOTALLY different. Girls often will sit quietly looking at a book or the menu, colouring, playing with their dolly etc.
Boys often just don't have it in them to do it until they're older.

I'm sorry but that is pure arsebollocks.

The OP hasn't referred to having a girl in past posts anyhow - just the ages and her marital status have changed.

Wow. Am loving expert parents whose only experience is a prevocalic singleton.

OP I hope your next child is triplet boys and that they're fuckers. By then you'll be strapping iPads to their heads like pit-helmets just to get out of the house.

Chomp on my chewy

Op. I agree to some extent

When mine were little we amused htm as long as possible with out screens. Once dinner was eaten we may give tum silent phones for them to play on if we wanted to stay and have coffee etc

I do think some effort should be made by parents before using screens If they can't behave yet then stick to cafés or child friendly pubs in summer with play equipment. Start small and work up. Mine are now older and I can take them anywhere.

If you don't put th work in how will they learn.

However the selfishness if parents has put me off and sent me into a rage on many occasions. Particularly tthe cinema!

Oh OP, I used to be you. Then I had two more children. Such different personalities, such different pressures, such different attitudes from me and DH about what is truly important. We still believe restaurant manners are important but oh how pompous you sound.

Keep this thread somewhere. When your second child is 2 or 3 years old, read it again. You'll cringe like mad and maybe pee yourself laughing.

Have you ever re-read any of your teenage diaries or poetry? It's a bit like that.

You should have asked the other parents to turn the volume down btw.

Lots of things that other people do irritate me, people sniffing constantly instead of blowing their nose, people eating with their mouth open, people smoking near a open door or window, people swaring in earshot of my dc.

I am guilty of letting my 2 year old play with my phone whilst we wait for the food to arrive in a resteraunt, he isn't allowed the phone when eating but sitting for 15/20 minutes waiting for food, then sitting and eating, then waiting for everyone to be finished and finally waiting for the bill to come is too difficult for my child. We turn the volume down (although not off) there is a chance we irritate people, but I believe that if you go out in public you run the risk of being irritated/offended.

We tend to go to our local resteraunt every Friday at around 5, it's a sort of unofficial family hour, the majority of customers are families. My ds is usually one of the better behaved children, often there are a few children running about.

I'm going to try I spy with my toddler today, do you do it with letters or colours?

zzzz your aggressive 'rubbish' reply is the quod erat demonstrandum.

Kew restaurant...kids tobogganing on food trays.

Kids playing with cutlery at self service bay.

Well known farm, shop,kids putting fingers in self service bowls of olives.

'Pepper' at full blast in restaurant in leafy village.

Warning!Do Not interfere.

Maybe it is my old witch face and bun!

Id much rather have a tablet family near me in a restaurant than a performance parent playing I fucking Spy with a fetus.

YABU

But why does it even affect you. Why do you feel the need to ask mums (and not dads?) not to use screens? You realise that everyone parents differently, doesn't smoke you superior.

the problem here is the volume not the screen, some kids climb out of highchairs etc and prevention is better than the cure.

I don't know what sort of boys some people have on this thread but my 6yr DS has always behaved out for a meal.
But then I haven't ever taken easy options and strapped tablets to them... They are happy to sit and chat , colour, do puzzle books.

Don't parents bother with the effort of socialising their DC in how to behave in different social situations?

I don't think screens are any better or worse than giving a child colouring books etc in a restaurant. They were inconsiderate not to bring headphones though.

pmsl at the idea of your 20month old being well behaved because you've taught them to be.

Girls and boys are TOTALLY different.

Yeah, no.

Blessedandgr8ful the kind of boys some of us have are not like yours. There's a thought...

Someone was showing their toddler videos on their phone on a packed commuter train yesterday evening and it took two separate instances of people asking politely before they turned the sound off.

I couldn't care less when parent do or don't show their kids a screen. It's totally fair enough to want to distract your toddler sometimes. But doing it without headphones or mute volume is fucking antisocial.

In a restaurant in a leafy village you say Gotthe? Oh, the HORROR!

If you had asked for volume to be turnd down ,you would likely have been threatened with 'a bunch of fives',told to F- off,or be embroiled in a really nasty scene. This just isn't necessarily true. I asked someone to turn the volume off on the phone where they were showing videos to their toddler yesterday and while they did need to be asked twice they did eventually agree.

I find it pretty depressing that people are afraid to make requests of strangers in case they get attacked.