to ask mums of toddlers not to use screens in places that aren't appropriate.

[getoffmybramblepatch]

I went out for a meal with dh yesterday without our children. We do take them out for meals often and our 20 month old is usually really well behaved because he has been taught to be. If he ever does get impatient we just talk to him at a level appropriate for the dinner table and maybe give him some colouring in to do or have a game of I spy.
either way, we try to communicate with him to keep him calm and we'll behaved at all times, for our own sanity as much as everyone else's.

Yesterday we were enjoying our child free meal until a family arrived at a table on the other side of the room and a child of about the same age wouldn't settle. Nothing was said to this child.. No discipline, no chat, the first line to come from mum and dad was "here, watch pepper pig". Out comes the tablet and on comes pepper pig so loud to the point where I can't hear myself think. It would have been quieter if we had stayed at home with our dc and this is usually a nice place.
I've seen it happen a lot lately, and pepper pig seems to be programme of choice. Aibu to think that I don't give a toss about the rod you are making for your own backs, but to let these parents know how irritating it is when this is your first resort in places that have etiquette?

Wow, what a great parent you are, you should have approached the other parents with some advice, then they could be a great parent like you.

superram a train journey is totally different scenario than dinner in a restaurant though isn't it. especially with headphones on a train.

I mean isn't a restaurant with children the place where you teach them that the dinner table is for talk? For social manners? If children grow up with the first resort being a screen then how do you expect them to be when they are older? I don't think it's unreasonable to teach a bit of respect for people around them at an early age, hence mentioning why my youngest manages it.

Here's your [medal] for having a perfect child.

20 month old playing 'I spy'...

Tablet so loud, the other side of the room, that you can't think?

.....

0/10.

Is your 20 month old your first child?

Just wondering because when I had a 20 month old who sat happily in restaurants etc without fussing or disturbing people I thought it was because we had taught her to do it.

Then I had a second child and discovered that all the positive parenting techniques in the world make no difference if you have a child who isn't happy to sit still and be quiet.

SWIMMING LESSONS

i wanted to read, not to listen to daddy fucking pig

If you wanted a child-free meal there are plenty of restaurants which don't exactly encourage children!

YANBU to expect electronic sounds to be turned off/headphones to be used in public.

YABU in your choice of restaurant.

Catsize I'm not sure children who stay occasionally at grandma's are abandoned? maybe you need to check the definition of that with social services in case I need reporting.
fwiw he had a grand old time. He's only stayed out 3 times so far.

It was the ispy that boggled my brain

As an aside I can't stand peppa pig. I really wish they would make an episode where they're all turned into bacon sandwiches.

she is uNREASONABLE not to hear peppa pig in a restaurant?

you lot are crazed!

YABU, but I hear where you're coming from.

I'm one of those parents that taught my children that using screens at the table was rude when they were younger, and it just makes teaching good manners more difficult when your children can see other children doing things they are told they aren't allowed to do.

But we share the world with different people who have different ideas of how things should be done, so you just have to suck it up.

Fine to moan about the noise level but the rest is none of your business. Ds does sometimes have toys that make a bit of noise when we are out (we stick to his quietest ones) because those are the toys he likes. For us the main thing is keeping him calm and preventing meltdowns. He has sn but if it works with younger children without sn I see no problem either. What you are trying to teach your child is not another parents problem.

Nope. Sometimes the 9 yo and I both sit at a table in a cafe/restaurant on our iPads. It's called 'downtime'. You have absolutely no idea what we have been doing beforehand, nor what we will be doing after.

My friends DS is practically glued to his the minute he leaves the house. He has SN's and this keeps him calm. You wouldn't know it to look at him.

Myob.

The volume was wrong but I get seriously pissed off when people judge a family based on a tiny snapshot. I also get annoyed when people try to proclaim to be some sort of perfect parent sinply because they use different approaches.

HEADPHONES

Who makes the rules as to whether one form of entertainment for a toddler is better than another? You obviously think giving "screens" to keep kids occupied is a bad thing but I'd say a lot of parents find it a god send, especially when you want a child to not be noisy in a public place.

I suggest the problem you have is in yourself, for not having the courage to get off your high horse and have a polite word with the restaurant staff or parents of said zombie child.

I had 3 children who I "taught" how to behave in restaurants. Then ds2 came along and by God all the teaching in the world isn't going to help him sit and wait with no food in front of him. Really is this worth judgement? Is that parent a bad person, are you truly a better one? We muddle through best we can. Lucky I has ds2 last and comments and judgement made by people like you won't affect me the way they would have if he had been my first.

Haha. At 20 months my DC were also perfectly behaved in restaurants. There have been very many times since though when we've been out and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me due to their behaviour - despite always carrying books, colouring stuff, card games and talking to them.

Hope you continue to have a perfect child

I hate it when other people impose their noise on my, teenagers on the bus with music, people on the train with loud, inane phone conversations, children with tablets in public places, drunk people outside my flat at 3am singing loudly, it's all the same thing, having no consideration that your noise impacts on others. Howeve this has nothing specifically to do with bashing mothers who let their toddlers use tablets in public, I did it (with the sound off/right down) and trust me, my back has no rods.

I love that you think your 20 month old baby is well behaved because you've taught him well. Bless.

I think that in this situation the correct thing to do is to ask a waiter to ask them to turn it down.

It's not about whether a child or parent is perfect or not. It's about that being the very first resort and so bloody loud.
I'd rather hear a child being a bit cheeky and parents trying than peppa pig full volume before they have even had any issues

I'd rather hear Peppa Pig than someone performance parenting in my ear! Groan!!

Oh she knows it's Peppa Pig. But spelling it incorrectly demonstrates just how far removed she and her child are from that trash.

E.g, "Pepper Pig? I know it exists, but my child detests that mind numbing rubbish and I've never actually seen it".
Bollocks.