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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask mums of toddlers not to use screens in places that aren't appropriate.

266 replies

getoffmybramblepatch · 28/01/2015 07:23

I went out for a meal with dh yesterday without our children. We do take them out for meals often and our 20 month old is usually really well behaved because he has been taught to be. If he ever does get impatient we just talk to him at a level appropriate for the dinner table and maybe give him some colouring in to do or have a game of I spy.
either way, we try to communicate with him to keep him calm and we'll behaved at all times, for our own sanity as much as everyone else's.

Yesterday we were enjoying our child free meal until a family arrived at a table on the other side of the room and a child of about the same age wouldn't settle. Nothing was said to this child.. No discipline, no chat, the first line to come from mum and dad was "here, watch pepper pig". Out comes the tablet and on comes pepper pig so loud to the point where I can't hear myself think. It would have been quieter if we had stayed at home with our dc and this is usually a nice place.
I've seen it happen a lot lately, and pepper pig seems to be programme of choice. Aibu to think that I don't give a toss about the rod you are making for your own backs, but to let these parents know how irritating it is when this is your first resort in places that have etiquette?

OP posts:
Frusso · 28/01/2015 12:58

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Aeroflotgirl · 28/01/2015 13:18

Well op, I will take my shock horror I pad to the airport with me when we go abroad with our 3 year old and 8 year old. I would rather that, than them getting bored on the plane, and are we nearly there yet. Your little one is only 20 months, wait until they hit the terrible twos. My ds has the attention of a gnat, so i spy would not work, nor would colouring in, I do not want to be talking or trying to run after him, when I am trying to chew and digest my food. I actually want to enjoy it. So yes I take the I pad to the restaurant to keep him entertained when we are waiting for food, which can be a long time, or after he has finished and wants to run about. I used to with dd, but now she is 8 and behaves very well at the table so no need to. Toddlers and toddlers at the end of the day.

Chippednailvarnish · 28/01/2015 13:36

Anyone have any idea how to avoid my DD getting fruit shoots and deep fried mars bar residue on my pad when we eat out?

morethanpotatoprints · 28/01/2015 13:40

I think a couple of mine have their genders mixed up too.

Ds1, lovely text book baby and child, responded well to discipline and was a treat to take out. He would be quietly playing with an action figure or car.

Ds2 total nightmare, besides having aspergers was just a different character and it was hard work taking him out.

DD a nice mix of the two but certainly not as placid and easy going as ds1.
She would behave quite well but wouldn't sit reading a menu or playing quietly with a dolly.

Kittymum03 · 28/01/2015 13:49

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TwiggyHeart · 28/01/2015 13:50

I had an easy 20 month old too! Unfortunately they can turn into more difficult 3 year olds!. Screen time has a time and a place, you don't know the circumstances but were totally within your rights to ask for the sound to be turned down.

TwiggyHeart · 28/01/2015 13:51

Frusso - totally agree!!

MiaowTheCat · 28/01/2015 13:58

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TooHasty · 28/01/2015 14:06

Our 20 month old is well behaved because he had been taught to be"

sMaking comments like that, you are just begging for your next DC to be a right little terrorist.Your DD is well behaved (now) because you have been lucky, and probably she has not got to the stage of rebellion yet!

Frusso · 28/01/2015 14:08

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ghostspirit · 28/01/2015 14:17

so op can talk to her toddler at his level and it seems to work... lucky you. one day it may not. and when it does not maybe other mums will be judging you.

so what if mums get out a screen for their child if that's what works for them. although i do agree about the sound thing if it was to loud. alos you dont know what sort of day/weeks or what ever them parents have had and if its going to help them then i would say go for it.

my youngest is 4 i also have 3 other children and pregnant. sometimes i really have had enough been at work tired kids playing up winding each other up bla bla. and if giving a screen to my 4 year old gives me a bit of peace then i will do it. because im lazy i cant always be arsed to have them chats with the kids

zzzzz · 28/01/2015 14:17

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ghostspirit · 28/01/2015 14:20

my first child was an angel as a baby/toddler/child.... shes a teenager now shes the devil

my youngest child who is 4 is the devil as well. im hoping she will be an angel teen Grin

Frusso · 28/01/2015 14:25

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peppapigonaloop · 28/01/2015 14:26

I haven't read the whole thread but just for this:

our 20 month old is usually really well behaved because he has been taught to be. If he ever does get impatient we just talk to him at a level appropriate for the dinner table and maybe give him some colouring in to do or have a game of I spy

hahahaha don't be such a judgey pants!.. wait until you have 2 or three to control and they are 2/3/4 and wilful as anything..

And if their nose is annoying you ask them to turn it down instead of silently seething while feeling superior.

Prforone · 28/01/2015 14:27

On the issue of the noise, I feel your pain.

On our flight home from Sardinia last year, the parents sat behind us played Peppa Pig episodes on their iPad at full volume for their little darling ALL THE WAY HOME. Grrrr ............

SkaterGrrrrl · 28/01/2015 14:35

"Id much rather have a tablet family near me in a restaurant than a performance parent playing I fucking Spy with a fetus."

Weeping with laughter, GahBuggerIt.

TheIronGnome · 28/01/2015 14:45

YANBU children need teaching how to behave in places like restaurants, not just instant gratification of an iPad.

Also hate the overuse of the phrase 'performance parenting'. In lots of cases that isn't what it is at all.

Nocturne123 · 28/01/2015 15:32

Whoever said girls are easier and will sit quietly playing with a dolly .... What??? I'd be out for dinner every weekend if dd was like that Hmm

Dd can almost run faster than me ... Usually in the opposite direction that we're supposed to be going

Purplepoodle · 28/01/2015 15:37

Dc with adhd only thing that gets him to sit is his games console. Be glad we bring it otherwise he talks very very loudly, knocks things over and goes for a wander

Ipigglemustdie · 28/01/2015 15:57

Well me and 2yo ds1 have a game of scrabble if he gets bored waiting for the food. I spy is soo 14 months.

ghostspirit · 28/01/2015 16:13

how do you even play i spy with a 20 month old do they even know their letters?

saying that when my kids were younger we played i spy something red...

TeddyBee · 28/01/2015 16:57

My 20 month old was angelic. Then came the descent into hell...

myotherusernameisbetter · 28/01/2015 17:11

YANBU and YABU

It's up to parents how they choose to parent as long as it doesn't disturb others.

We had a similar encounter the other day but it wasn't a child free place - it was just relatively empty in the upstairs as they'd shut it but as there were no free tables for 4 downstairs we were told we could go up - there were 2 families already there. one with two young primary age children who were getting a little impatient waiting on their meal but no biggie and the other table where it was a woman and her son of about 2 and her mother. 2 year old was gazing into the ipad which was about 10 inches from his face and it was blasting out nursery rythmes - their choice to give him the ipad but the volume was far too loud though to be fair it might not have been so noticeable if we weren't in the quiet upstairs bit. Anyway, what really got to me was the fact that the wee one was mesmerised and therefore not eating or drinking to which the proceeded to keep moaning at him and I just wanted to shout "well put the fucking ipad away and he might be more interested!!" Even if the had put something in his hand, he might have eaten it. The eventually chucked a chocolate milkshake in his hand which he drank before they left. I just felt sorry for the fact that they kept moaning at him when it wasn't really his fault.

TooHasty · 28/01/2015 21:45

Well me and 2yo ds1 have a game of scrabble if he gets bored waiting for the food. I spy is soo 14 months

I hope it is in Latin?