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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask mums of toddlers not to use screens in places that aren't appropriate.

266 replies

getoffmybramblepatch · 28/01/2015 07:23

I went out for a meal with dh yesterday without our children. We do take them out for meals often and our 20 month old is usually really well behaved because he has been taught to be. If he ever does get impatient we just talk to him at a level appropriate for the dinner table and maybe give him some colouring in to do or have a game of I spy.
either way, we try to communicate with him to keep him calm and we'll behaved at all times, for our own sanity as much as everyone else's.

Yesterday we were enjoying our child free meal until a family arrived at a table on the other side of the room and a child of about the same age wouldn't settle. Nothing was said to this child.. No discipline, no chat, the first line to come from mum and dad was "here, watch pepper pig". Out comes the tablet and on comes pepper pig so loud to the point where I can't hear myself think. It would have been quieter if we had stayed at home with our dc and this is usually a nice place.
I've seen it happen a lot lately, and pepper pig seems to be programme of choice. Aibu to think that I don't give a toss about the rod you are making for your own backs, but to let these parents know how irritating it is when this is your first resort in places that have etiquette?

OP posts:
Nocturne123 · 28/01/2015 09:18

Awk how nice that you've "taught" your 20 mo to be well behaved Hmm

I've taught mine to act like a tiny tornado just for the craic Confused

Wise up . Could you not have asked them politely to turn it down a little bit ?

Chippednailvarnish · 28/01/2015 09:20

Why always so so judgey on here?

Pot

Kettle

Black

Frusso · 28/01/2015 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willferrellisactuallykindahot · 28/01/2015 09:23

I still think the OP is getting a hard time, and why do people always want to I've someone a good kicking for wanting to actually talk with their kid during a game of (dumbed down) I spy?

Having said that:

'It's the bloody plate, FFS'

Grin
mameulah · 28/01/2015 09:24

Edyoukateshaun

Hahaha!!!

That was so funny!

OP

I spent 15 years working with small children before becoming a parent.

'You ain't seen nothing yet.' Is the real truth.

Over the next twelve months I hope you enjoy a couple of delicious slices of Humble Pie!

Willferrellisactuallykindahot · 28/01/2015 09:24

*give

fleurdelacourt · 28/01/2015 09:24

I thought this was going to be a complaint about the lack of headphones... and I would have agreed with that - had to listen to 2 versions of Peppa Pig running at the same time while waiting for dd to come out of her dancing class the other night......

OP - just because people use screens I doesn't mean they aren't good parents who are engaged with their kids! Playing I-spy with a one year old won't make his childhood any more fulfilled you know!

(oh and good luck with the next couple of years - no amount of teaching can stop the trajectory his personality is on!)

andsmile · 28/01/2015 09:27

How do you know that the child has not been engaged in reading/crafts/playing tig/scooting beforehand and that it was time for them to settle to watch something like PepperPig because they will settle and be entertained quietly while god forbid parents should at anytime wish to have a conversation at meal times.

I am fed up of this bloody pandering to children - we dont have to entertain them all the time directly with a bit of string and a lump of coal.

Technology is here to stay drop your pearl and pants get a grip of your tablets people

If you had said about the noise of a tablet or other device being intrusive I would agree YANBU.

Nocturne123 · 28/01/2015 09:28

I just think op is being incredibly judgemental . I agree with getting irritated if the noise was too loud but it's all well and good if your dc has the personality to sit nicely through dinner.

Most children of that age including my own will not sit still . Due to this we haven't been out for dinner in a long time and the one time we tried dd wouldn't even be distracted by a screen she was too busy trying to explore the place and screamed blue murder when we tried to stop her.

Maybe this was the first time this family had been out in a long time. Give them a break and like pp have said just ask the staff if they could turn it down.

angelos02 · 28/01/2015 09:29

YANBU OP. Ignore the plonkers having a go at you.

JakeShit · 28/01/2015 09:30

YANBU - about the noise. I would find that really irritating.

BUT with regards everything else, you are either deliberately being goady fair enough it's a boring dull Wednesday morning or you are generally a bit unreasonable

angelos02 · 28/01/2015 09:30

she was too busy trying to explore the place and screamed blue murder when we tried to stop her.

I assume this was the point at which you left the restaurant so as not to ruin the enjoyment of everyone else's meal?

Nocturne123 · 28/01/2015 09:32

Yes actually angelos it was . But it was also a child friendly restaurant .

Flingmoo · 28/01/2015 09:35

I'm actually in two minds about this. I don't think there's much harm in a bit of screen time to distract kids while out and about, but obviously the volume thing is really rude.

I do think it should be more of a 'last resort' than a first though - surely it's worth at least trying to get kids used to sitting nicely in a restaurant without watching TV....

magpieginglebells · 28/01/2015 09:36

I agree with everyone else about the sound, but YABU about wanting others not to use screens.

Of course I won't have this problem as my 5 month old will be taught perfect table manners by the time she's 15 months......

ChunkyPickle · 28/01/2015 09:38

The noise is annoying - they should at least turn it down to lower than talking level, but I agree with everyone here - it's just a tablet and a cartoon.

My DSes are generally well behaved in restaurants, but sometimes, if we're out because we're just all tired and hungry, none of us really wants to engage in sparkling toddler conversation so DS1 (4) gets one of our phones to watch toy reviews on youtube, DS2 (1) just wants food so has whatever they can get to the table fastest, and DP and I get to breath a sigh of relief and have some easy adult level chit chat.

We don't have to turn every situation into some educational opportunity.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 28/01/2015 09:39

Maybe they never get time away from their child and this was as close to date night as they could get. Who knows

I still can't picture playing Ispy with a 20 month old tbh

angelos02 · 28/01/2015 09:39

You should never be able to hear anyone else's music/tv in public. Not on a train, not in a restaurant, nowhere. It is rude.

SoupDragon · 28/01/2015 09:42

It's not smug or performance parenting to play I spy

No, it's smug to imply that because your 20 month old is the sort to sit quietly in a restaurant, all 20 month olds should and that you are somehow a better parent for having "taught" your 20 month old to do this.

Nocturne123 · 28/01/2015 09:42

I also agree with that angelo , it's not a big deal to have it at a level that only you/your dc can hear if you're going to use it.

Eva50 · 28/01/2015 09:46

Ah yes! We had many a pleasant meal out with ds1. When he was a newborn we would feed him before we went and take the carrycot in with us then I just needed to give him a quick feed when we got home and pop him in his Moses basket for the night. As he got older we would put him in a high chair or leave him in his pushchair whilst we ate and he could have a little bit of what we were having because he ate absolutely anything. It was difficult to understand why people needed babysitters or distractions.

Then we had ds2.

treaclesoda · 28/01/2015 09:50

For those who are saying that you should leave the restaurant if your child is being a bit if a nuisance, I was wondering, how do you deal with this if you are on holidays or far away from home? I do understand the reasoning behind what you're saying but if we've ordered food and paid for it we don't have the budget to be able to afford to walk away and just try again somewhere else once the child has calmed down. We'll try to be as quick as we can and get out of there asap, or we'll take it in turns to take the child outside and distract them for a bit, and no hanging round for coffee or dessert etc, but I'm not sure that it's realistic to expect people to leave.

CrispyFern · 28/01/2015 09:50

How can you have a twenty month old and not know it is Peppa Pig?
My mind is boggled.

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 28/01/2015 09:50

zzzz he's almost 2 - which in my world translates as 19mo! He's my second and I don't bother with counting them by month until they're ten anymore, I just wildly round up Grin

SauvignonBlanche · 28/01/2015 09:51

Why always so so judgey on here?

Are you taking the piss OP? You stated this thread in order to judge other parents whose children do not reach the standard of yours, who is really well behaved because he has been taught to be. Hmm