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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave one month old 'alone' on the train.

154 replies

MrsDutchie · 26/01/2015 14:28

OK Mumsnet jury. I am expecting to be flamed for irresponsible behaviour here. DM didn't have a problem with it so maybe this is a generational thing.

I was travelling alone with one month old dd to visit DM and DF so they could have some quality time with her.

Looking after a newborn is exhausting work and like usual I'd forgotten to eat my lunch and by 5pm after dd's feed I was really hungry and I could feel my blood sugar was really low and I needed something to eat. I asked the train conducted who was operating the tannoy next to my seat if she could keep an eye on dd for one min between station so I could run up the train and grab a sandwich . Dd was sleeping peacefully in pram and I was away for 5 mins.

WIBU unreasonable and putting dd in danger?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/01/2015 14:30

She's being watched by the senior conductor - I think it will be fine.

UrchinMadeOfAcne · 26/01/2015 14:30

I'm having palpitations reading that.

Allthelittlefoxes · 26/01/2015 14:30

No of course not! If the conductor was watching her I don't see that anything could have happened. I would have done the same Smile

SantanaLopez · 26/01/2015 14:31

YANBU at all.

Shedding · 26/01/2015 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shovetheholly · 26/01/2015 14:32

I think it might have been a little bit unwise, but certainly not the crappest parenting ever by a long way! I hope you haven't been made to feel terrible about it.

I think in your shoes I might have asked another member of the public or even the conductor to get me something from the buffet.

I suspect that with a one month old it's a steep learning curve. Hopefully you'll be able to fit in meals before too long - maybe take an emergency Mars Bar with you in future?

WhereIsMyFurryHat · 26/01/2015 14:33

Not if someone was looking after her. Did he agree?

ursuslemonade · 26/01/2015 14:33

Yes you were, I would have never ever done anything like that. No bloody way.

Original poster
MrsDutchie · 26/01/2015 14:34

Yes conducted was more than happy - chuffed to bits actually. DD is a cute little charmer Grin

OP posts:
Theboodythatrocked · 26/01/2015 14:34

Of course it was fine. Not a random person but the conductor.'

We are in danger of becoming hysterically Barmy over child protection and i consider myself over protective!

Hakluyt · 26/01/2015 14:34

Why on earth would anyone think that was anything but perfectly fine? Why "unwise"?

DamsonInDistress · 26/01/2015 14:34

I'd have picked her up and taken her with me. I'm far from a pfb type parent but just one month old? I really don't think I could have left her at that stage with a stranger.

Andcake · 26/01/2015 14:34

Train conductor lady ok. Its all fine. But in future just remember snacks or your sling so it doesn't happen again. I found having my sling with me even if we had the buggy a god send!

ChippingInLatteLover · 26/01/2015 14:34

If the train was between stations and the conductor was happy, then there's not really a problem is there?

I wouldn't do it on a train at a station.

JeanetteDanielsBenziger · 26/01/2015 14:35

I gave my 3 month old to a kindly looking stranger to hold whilst I went to the loo on a train once. I couldn't have managed a pee whilst holding her and her pram wouldn't have fitted in the cubicle.
I made sure I did it just after the train had left a station and I knew there was no other stops coming up in the time it took me to pee though.

5madthings · 26/01/2015 14:35

She wasn't alone, you asked someone to watch her :)

When ds3 or ds4? Can't remember which, was newborn I desperately needed some nee tops, went to town with baby in sling and then realised I couldn't tty stuff on, so asked the change room assistant if she could hold babu whilst I tried stuff on. She was very happy to coo over baby whilst I hurriedly tried stuff on.

When I came out a random woman had a go at me as apparently The shop asassistant, in uniform etc could have been a baby snatcher...

CantBeBotheredThinking · 26/01/2015 14:36

sleeping baby in a pram being watched by someone would not bother me at all. YWNBU

MerryMarigold · 26/01/2015 14:36

Perfectly fine.

What's the difference if she was 1 month or 5 months? I think at 5 months they are more likely to be upset if they can't see you.

McFox · 26/01/2015 14:37

I don't see the problem. This is why I keep emergency snacks in the changing bag though Smile

ShadowSpiral · 26/01/2015 14:37

Given the conductor was watching her for you, YANBU.

The advice to keep an emergency Mars bar or similar in your bag in case you desperately need to grab food again is a good suggestion and would avoid the need for you to leave your DD while you get a sandwich.

NancyRaygun · 26/01/2015 14:37

You asked a member of staff to watch her. I would have done the same.

I have asked a random woman to watch my older DD while I took the youngest to the loo on a train. No problem here at all.

DamsonInDistress · 26/01/2015 14:37

For me there a difference between asking someone to hold our watch them whilst I'm still within touching distance practically, as in the changing room example, and in then moving away a few hundred feet up the train to a different carriage as in this example. I don't know why, but it feels very different to me.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 26/01/2015 14:38

Totally fine.

UrchinMadeOfAcne · 26/01/2015 14:39

Totally misunderstood the op!

Thought she got off train at a station to run to a kiosk Confused I nearly had heart failure.

In retrospect, you were not being unreasonable!

LadyPenny · 26/01/2015 14:39

Absolutely fine.

Andcake would it have mattered if the conductor was male?. I'm not sure what you are saying.