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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave one month old 'alone' on the train.

154 replies

MrsDutchie · 26/01/2015 14:28

OK Mumsnet jury. I am expecting to be flamed for irresponsible behaviour here. DM didn't have a problem with it so maybe this is a generational thing.

I was travelling alone with one month old dd to visit DM and DF so they could have some quality time with her.

Looking after a newborn is exhausting work and like usual I'd forgotten to eat my lunch and by 5pm after dd's feed I was really hungry and I could feel my blood sugar was really low and I needed something to eat. I asked the train conducted who was operating the tannoy next to my seat if she could keep an eye on dd for one min between station so I could run up the train and grab a sandwich . Dd was sleeping peacefully in pram and I was away for 5 mins.

WIBU unreasonable and putting dd in danger?

OP posts:

Abra1d · 26/01/2015 15:46

What would the conductor have done with the baby on a moving train? Of course you did the right thing.

OP, YANBU.

ChristmasEva50 · 26/01/2015 15:48

I was asked to hold a baby in the swimming pool changing rooms by a Granny who needed to go to the toilet. She was more than 10 minutes. I was beginning to think she had absconded. I'm not sure his mother would have been too pleased.

littlejohnnydory · 26/01/2015 15:48

I wouldn't have but if you're comfortable with it it's not the end of the world. I'd just have picked her up and taken her with me. I've been to the train loo with a newborn, it's tricky but not impossible!

Notso · 26/01/2015 15:49

YANBU

I left DS1 asleep in his pram on the train while I took DD to the toilet. I didn't even ask anyone to keep an eye on him.

I also regularly left my two youngest in the double pram outside the corner shop. It wouldn't fit through the door. I often came out to find a random old lady chatting to them.

They were also left in the pram outside toilets while I had a wee.

I must be a right feckless mother.

yolofish · 26/01/2015 15:49

I made my best friend by asking her to watch 5 week old DD2 in the car seat when DD1 announced, as soon as we got into the library, that she was desperate for a wee! 16 years on, we have 5 kids between us and an awful lot of water (and wine) under the bridge...

Toomanyexams · 26/01/2015 15:51

Sounds fine to me.

Vycount · 26/01/2015 15:55

I'm gobsmacked at some reactions on here. I think what you did Op was perfectly fine.
Someone up-thread suggested that you could instead have asked the conductor or another passenger to get you something to eat. That would have been much more unreasonable. If a mum asked me to do that I'd probably suggest I kept an eye on baby in pram instead... thus labelling myself a potential baby-snatcher by the sound of it!

drspouse · 26/01/2015 16:01

YANBU at all, though I have had to say no once when someone asked me to hold their baby - parent trying to get on bus with toddler and baby and pram, pay fare etc. Parent had just asked driver to hold baby, driver had said no. I had recently had an accident involving injury to an arm and could barely hold my bag let alone someone else's baby. I felt rude but there you go.

I did feel slightly miffed though that there were 2 or 3 younger male passengers sitting nearer the front that didn't get asked. I was not obviously injured but I was obviously female and obviously NOT the closest person to the door/driver who refused to hold baby.

LaLyra · 26/01/2015 16:24

I can't see why anyone would have an issue with that. In fact to me it'd be safer than moving about on a moving train carrying a tiny baby.

sleepyhead · 26/01/2015 16:27

In one of my early posts on here I mentioned leaving 6 week old ds1 in the care of the Mothercare assistant while I nipped outside to get my forgotten purse from the car (parked almost directly outside shop).

I was lightly flame grilled for my trouble.

YWNBU.

Hakluyt · 26/01/2015 16:29

"Probably nothing would have happened and I've taken calculated risks before. Just not sure that this would be one of them."

What sort of calculated risks have you taken, if you consider this to be too dangerous?

Yarp · 26/01/2015 16:30

Not a problem at all

BMO · 26/01/2015 16:30

YANBU - I'm not sure what the worst case scenario actually is. Conductor is a baby-hating pyscho who promptly throws it out the window?

ourglass · 26/01/2015 16:30

She won't grow two heads so that's a relief.

Iggly · 26/01/2015 16:32

I wouldn't have done that, especially with my pfb 1 month old, but I readily admit I can be neurotic about such things.

Gruntfuttock · 26/01/2015 16:33

ourglass who won't grow two heads?

PureMorning · 26/01/2015 16:34

Ive done that in aldi sleepy.

Left the baby with a man with a toddler while I nipped the car for my bags. Baby was asleep in the trolley.

The man's toddler was thrilled, he thought they were buying my baby

Trinpy · 26/01/2015 16:39

yanbu.

I am fairly pfb and even I have left my newborn with a stranger for 5 mins (receptionist at vets).

LetticeKnollys · 26/01/2015 16:49

I wouldn't have left a baby with a randomer unless it was a total emergency, but a uniformed professional is different, especially while the baby is asleep.

queentroutoftrouts · 26/01/2015 16:50

YANBU.

funkyfoam · 26/01/2015 16:56

Research shows that the Danes are the happiest nation on earth. The main reason for this is considered to be that they trust each other. Hence babies left in prams outside shops etc. Maybe if this country became less paranoid we would all be happier. We used to trust each other. YANBU

Callaird · 26/01/2015 17:13

i was on a long haul flight and a family in front of us had a screaming 2 month old, the more she cried the more stressed they got about upsetting fellow passengers, I offered to take the baby (I'm a nanny) while they calmed down as I explained that the baby was picking up on their stress, I walked up and down the plane for 10 minutes while the baby calmed down and fell asleep, three people told me that they would never let a stranger take their child, I asked them where they thought I was going to go! I cuddled the baby for 6 hours while her parents slept and recharged! Who doesn't love a cuddle with a tiny little baby.

I worry about a lot of things, leaving kids at home when you pop next door/to the corner shop/ to post a letter. Leaving them in a hotel room while going down to dinner. Etc but I think the OP did nothing wrong, the train was moving, the conductor was going nowhere, I don't really see the problem. I wouldn't do it but I am paid to look after the children, I may have done it if I'd had my own.

Notso · 26/01/2015 17:15

...but a uniformed professional is different...

It's not really though is it? The random stranger could be an experienced nanny with a DBS check on their day off, the uniformed professional could be a baby eating murderer in their spare time.

Strokethefurrywall · 26/01/2015 17:32

Fuckin hell, many a transatlantic flight I've left baby sleeping whilst I go to the loo it to stretch my legs/get more wine! And even when the babies have been awake I've regularly dumped them on kindly and willing strangers for a cuddle whilst I eat my meal in peace. Where do people think the conductor was going to go??

Tyzer85 · 26/01/2015 17:39

YWNBU OP, I'd have done the same.

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