To have another rant about friend's wedding

[cathyscarlett]

I posted on here recently about my friend who's getting married in November. I'm a bridesmaid, and the cost is already tipping £1,500 for each of us. She is one of my oldest friends, and she is a really lovely person, but she has become utterly self absorbed and obsessed with her wedding (which she has been planning for the past few years).

I have just received a text from another bridesmaid asking each of the six of us for £45 in order to make a 'bride goody bag' for the night before the wedding, including personalised pyjamas, make up, champagne etc. She has stated that the bride asked her to do this. It's not the cost I mind, I was planning to take champagne for the night before anyway, it's being asked to spend yet more of my money on her wedding.

AIBU to think my friend has a bloody cheek to keep continuously asking us all for more money?

[Floggingmolly]

They'll be all gasped out and completely unshockable long before this farce plays itself out in a church...

[magoria]

You have/are spending my entire monthly salary on the demands of one person for their special day!

[CrystalHaze]

OP, pull out. This bridal bitch does not care for you at all. Don't fund her ego-trip any further.

[WyrdByrd]

She's certainly milking the occasion isn't she? Is everything alright with her and groom to be - it's almost like she's over compensating.

If you have to do 'wedding eve' gifts, surely a tenner each would cover it?

Bottle of bubbly (decent Prosecco?)
Box of willy shaped chocs
Sachets of bath stuff, face pack etc
Memory book

All sounds absolutely barking tbh.

[cathyscarlett]

Well me and bridesmaid on my team have told the rest that it shouldn't be about presents, and that the bride should not be asking for anything.

I believe it's just a run of the mill white wedding dress, but then I haven't been allowed to see it yet. Her grip on reality is long gone, I think it's the result of spending so long planning the wedding.

[Penguinsaresmall]

I give it five years tops

[DisappointedOne]

I wouldn't be buying a wedding gift after she's spent several hundred of your hard earned ££££s on your outfit, hair, makeup and hotel room.

I wouldn't do the hen. I'd drink water at the wedding. And I'd make sure everyone knew what a complete twat she'd been for the last 5+ years. Think Kirsten wig in bridesmaids" and you're probably about there.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Don't fall for any bollocks from this other bridesmaid.

You would be daft to spend any more money, you really would be bonkers as you clearly don't want to, quite rightly so.

This bride is a pillock and a deluded one at that.

[BerylStreep]

I'm loving the idea of gasps

I think you should pull out now.

[Lweji]

It will be interesting as the BMs drop out / are kicked out of the wedding one by one until she stands alone at the altar.

[sockmatcher]

How are you friends? Serious question. How long. Was she always like this?

[Jackiebrambles]

Good grief. The dress and accessories I can sort of understand (although in all the cases I've knos the bride/groom have paid for this stuff). The hen do and drinks at the wedding - ok.

But gifts the night before??? Is she not getting enough?!

The only gifts I have heard of the night before are gifts for the bridesmaids to say thank you!

How good a friend is she?

I'd tell bridemaid one that you'll have to not get her a wedding gift if you shell out for these pre wedding gifts, which sort of defeats the purpose of the whole thing, ie celebrating their wedding!!

I pity the groom so much.

[iamdivergent]

I wouldn't be getting her a gift tbh

[expatinscotland]

Stop enabling her by pulling out.

At the very least, 'I have reached the top of my budget for this event. I cannot afford to spend any more, I will therefore be unable to contribute to a goody bag or anything else.'

It's only January, plenty of time to just pull out. 'I've reviewed my budget and am unable to afford to participate as a bridesmaid. Sadly, I need to pull out.'

She's not a lovely person.

[expatinscotland]

Any friend who demands shite like this is no friend.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Hold up. Wedding day drinks?! WEDDING DAY DRINKS??!!

So she's not even paying up for the bar? And 6 bridesmaids all shelling out to be her entourage?

Eugh, why do people plan these wedding extravaganzas and expect everyone else to foot the bill? If you can't afford a huge princessy wedding you shouldn't be doing one. It's nasty, grabby and worst of all... cheap.

Weddings don't have to be expensive to be gorgeous and wonderful. Expecting your guests to bank roll the event is just awful.

[mazylou]

She sounds totally insecure and more than a little crazy. She is going to be so deflated afterwards, I'm not sure the marriage will meet her expectations. What's the groom like?

[DareGreatly]

Wow. Just wow.

Please don't accept this.

I got married less than six months ago. My own wedding dress was £150. I appreciate that that's a bit too cost-conscious for some people. But your friend is way too far in the opposite direction in terms of conspicuous consumption (of other people's cash!).

Please be strong and put your foot down. Just say sorry - no can do.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Oh dear.
It is abou the money imo.
That is too much money and too much "stuff" for a bridesmaid to fork out for a wedding.
Just because other ppl are getting over excited and running up a huge bill does not mean you should feel obligated.
Say no.
You might then need to say "fuck off."
YANBU

[fatlazymummy]

I still can't get over the idea of the guests 'gasping' at the sight of her walking down the aisle.
It's like she's living in a fantasy world or something.

[KingCrimson]

I expect the groom isn't allowed to turn round because one of the bridesmaids will be holding up a big sign saying "Gasp!".

[cathyscarlett]

sockmatcher I've known her 20+ years since nursery, I can't remember now knowing her. She has always been wrapped up in her own life, but it's really ramped up over the wedding.

Well I've told them I'll be bringing a bottle of champagne, and that she really shouldn't be expecting anything, especially something so elaborate. I'll make sure it's a good bottle of champagne too, just so they know it isn't the money that I begrudged but the attitude.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

I worry about what she's going to fill her life with after the wedding.

She'll start planning the baby shower. Get out now

[DareGreatly]

NoArmani.

So true!

[expatinscotland]

'She has always been wrapped up in her own life, but it's really ramped up over the wedding.'

Next will be her baby shower, christening. She doesn't give a fuck about you, OP. Friends don't do this to other friends.