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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People who are high and mighty about not being on facebook and then bitch when they miss out on stuff that's organised through facebook

196 replies

nemoschmemo · 22/01/2015 17:33

I know a few people like this. Turn their noses up at facebook (fine, their choice) but then go "wah, why wasn't I invited" when people make plans using facebook groups.

Case in point there's a fb group for parents of DC in my DDs year. People use it for things like reminders about what homework/spellings are this week.

Also sometimes gets used for social things - e.g. " a group of us are going to X play centre after school tonight if anyone fancies it."

I like fb groups for organising group activities - it's massively complicated trying to arrange things like that via text when you can't see what others are saying, email is too complicated as you end up with a gazillion emails and many of them cross.

With a fb group you can have a group conversation, it just makes sense.

But some people can't possibly just join fb to join a group and then just not indulge in the bits they don't like, they're too good for that. Fine. But don't then go '"WAH! I got left out!"

OP posts:

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 12:49

I don't think the OP is furious at all, she doesn't sound furious. She just thinks people are a bit pathetic - she's being judgey and looking down on them but not furious.

MorrisZapp · 23/01/2015 12:57

I find two layers usually make more than the sum of their parts iyswim.

So two tog plus two tog feels like five tog. Stay cosy out there.

dexter73 · 23/01/2015 12:59

I can add btw! It is supposed to be 9.5 tog!

dexter73 · 23/01/2015 13:00

Mmm that still doesn't add up! It's something like that anyway!

EveDallasRetd · 23/01/2015 13:05

We actually had a parent say in the playground that FB was 'common' and that the school were 'letting themselves down by subscribing' (there had been an issue on the official page and the school had to point out there were two pages, one that only the school could update and the other that was run by volunteer admin)

She was completely oblivious to all the shocked faces around her that she would say something quite so crass (and that she seemed to think it was something you have to pay to use )

Of course now she is avoided, and her children do miss out - more because the parents don't want anything to do with her.

I get exactly what the OP is saying, and why she's getting hacked off with this thread. Too many people putting words in her mouth.

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 13:14

Why are the people who wouldn't want to be involved in any of it using that as an argument against the OP, btw?

"I'd rather scoop my own eyes out with a melon baller than socialise with some of the people at my DCs school. I imagine they wouldn't want to socialise with me either, that's fine."

So...an optional online group is presumably preferable than someone forcing a note in your DC book bag or trying to get your phone number or email address?

BolshierAyraStark · 23/01/2015 13:17

The fact you seem so judgmental about those who choose not to use Fakebook makes you appear to be the high & mighty one tbh.

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 13:21

I've got one 'selfie whore' on my fb, btw.

She left an abusive marriage last year, lost 5 stone and is now - finally - getting out and having fun. If she wants to post a load of selfies of herself on nights out it really doesn't bother me. It's harmless, I'm glad she's happy at last.

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 23/01/2015 13:26

So...an optional online group is presumably preferable than someone forcing a note in your DC book bag or trying to get your phone number or email address?"

Good point, Kellywelly. I can live in ignorant bliss of the social maelstrom.

But again, how do people know the online group exists in the first place? This point is really confusing me.

Thanks for sock advice everyone, I can report my toes are only cold rather than freezing so that's good.

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 13:28

If they're moaning about stuff that's on it I think you can assume they know it exists

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 13:29

This thread is a lesson that you can't please all of the people all of the time.

EveDallasRetd · 23/01/2015 13:29

The fact you called it FAKEbook rather than FACEbook makes you sound the judgemental high and mighty one BolshierAyraStark

EveDallasRetd · 23/01/2015 13:34

But again, how do people know the online group exists in the first place? This point is really confusing me

I think if you are a FB user generally, then you search these things out automatically YesIDid. When we moved to this area (brand new never been here before) I checked to see if the village had a page (yep - for village hall events), the town had a page (yep, couple of selling pages, a 'we love' page, a pubs page and an events page), the school had a page (two of them) and so on.

Also the school advertises the official one in the header of the weekly newsletter and there is a link on that one to the unofficial one.

The school also uses ParentMail, but I've heard the school sec say quite often that she gets quicker responses to the FB page.

MassaAttack · 23/01/2015 14:04

I like selfies

BolshierAyraStark · 23/01/2015 14:06

In what way exactly?

I didn't say I wasn't on there either did I...?

slug · 23/01/2015 15:03

Have you ever had a stalker OP? Don't assume people who are not on facebook are high and mighty. Some of us have a healthy respect for our own safety.

I keep the F off of Facebook because they leak data like a sieve. I know lots of people who work in IT security who won't touch it or, if they do, use burner emails and fake names, which somewhat defeats the purpose of using it for social activities.

dexter73 · 23/01/2015 15:20

Following on from that there may also be people who are in witness protection so they may not want to be on FB.

BackforGood · 23/01/2015 15:21

If you've all RTFT, you will see that the OP never said "anyone who doesn't use FB"
She said - "she has come across people who are high and mighty about FB and then complain when they don't pick up information shared on FB"

which means she isn't talking about people in general who don't have FB, she's talking about the ones who have moaned to her.

I also want to reiterate she is not a parent support worker for the school, she does not 'represent' the school in any way, she is not a 'class rep', and it is not her job to organise social events for the school.
she's only a friendly person who is using a medium that is available to everyone who chooses to access it, to throw out a few general invitations, which, before the days of FB groups, probably wouldn't have gone out to anyone other than the parents she stood next to in the playground.

kellywellykingkong · 23/01/2015 18:01

If you don't go on fb because your feed will be full of people photgrahping their dinner, taking selfies and loling all over your place then that says everything about your friends and nothing about fb.

TheKitchenWitch · 23/01/2015 20:00

FB can only "leak information" if you give it that information.
It's perfectly possible to register and only use it to keep up to date on things like group events.

DoJo · 23/01/2015 20:52

This! I tried to point this out to one of my colleagues who seemed obsessed with how much he was NOT on Facebook and cited this as a reason. Then I met him and some of his friends on a night out and had to concede that he was probably right - they were a bunch of total tossers. So we were both right!

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