People who are high and mighty about not being on facebook and then bitch when they miss out on stuff that's organised through facebook

[nemoschmemo]

I know a few people like this. Turn their noses up at facebook (fine, their choice) but then go "wah, why wasn't I invited" when people make plans using facebook groups.

Case in point there's a fb group for parents of DC in my DDs year. People use it for things like reminders about what homework/spellings are this week.

Also sometimes gets used for social things - e.g. " a group of us are going to X play centre after school tonight if anyone fancies it."

I like fb groups for organising group activities - it's massively complicated trying to arrange things like that via text when you can't see what others are saying, email is too complicated as you end up with a gazillion emails and many of them cross.

With a fb group you can have a group conversation, it just makes sense.

But some people can't possibly just join fb to join a group and then just not indulge in the bits they don't like, they're too good for that. Fine. But don't then go '"WAH! I got left out!"

Yanbu, IMO the people who complain the most about fb are the biggest attention seekers. They usually have the worst type of friends which makes them feel they are above it, but really if they are friends with these people then they have something in common.

Yep, that's a fair point sparky. Still not sure how you get round it, though, email won't work. Word of mouth will sometimes work. It's a bit like the DV scenario, really, what's the solution?

My next door neighbour doesn't own a television. His choice, says there's nothing he wants to watch.

What about when there's a party political broadcast - should David Cameron pop round and explain Conservative party policies to him, or send him a personal email? I mean, why should he be excluded from this information because he doesn't have a tv.

If you choose to exclude yourself from a form of communication then why is it the duty of someone else to keep you informed?

NB: Cross posted with Sparky - my last post wasn't a snidey response re: people who can't afford the internet

I don't know anyone who is high and mighty about not being on Facebook.
Is that a thing?

Yeah it's a thing pagwatch, it's a "oh, I don't do facebook" catsbumface thing.

There also seems to be an assumption that all 60 members of the group log in and see the invitation in time. Not everyone who has a Facebook account logs on every hour of every day.

What about them? Do they have the right to feel excluded because they only log in after work and the 'event' has been and gone?

Pagwatch yes, there are some people who think their very soul will be soiled if they were to set up a Facebook account. It's the Jeremy Kyle of social media dontcha know?

I don't do facebook, but I can't think that I've every missed anything because of it.
Perhaps that's because my friends are prepared to contact people personally rather than just dump a request on FB.

I never realised I felt so strongly about this til I started this thread

I think, for me, the thing is - I work 4 days a week, I have a single day per week after school where my DC can socialise with their friends so fb is very handy for me to be able to arrange things with other parents of DC so my DC get to see their friends. This is how I do it.

It's annoying for me when there are people who are at every pick up and every drop off who could put themselves out to organise things, but never do. Then they complain because I heard about it last because they aren't on fb. organise your own thing your own way then!

Read the thread sallyingforth?

You sound aggressive and overly angry about this. Feeling defensive about your FB use?

I deleted Facebook because I'm not really bothered about what people are doing or posting and it was bloody irritating. I don't care about missing out (and I don't miss out because my friends and I talk and whasapp and text).

'High and mighty' is quite a juvenile expression.

Surely people not putting themselves out to organise things is not the same as people getting "high and mighty" about missing out on FB invites? I agree with Sallyingforth, if someone wants you to come, then they invite you personally.

You're right, I am getting over invested and muddying the waters because I've gone off on a tangent about a couple of people.

I am very amused though about the idea that I should be "feeling defensive" about my fb use. Um, what? why should I feel defensive about it, is it illegal or something

I think whoever said upthread that if people want something to moan about, they'll find it. I shall include myself on this thread in that!

Jesus. Reckon I've just about seen it all now.

I am very amused though about the idea that I should be "feeling defensive" about my fb use. Um, what? why should I feel defensive about it, is it illegal or something

I don't know, you tell me - it's quite telling that you think people would be 'high and mighty' as if Facebooking is something low brow or embarrassing? It's not. It's just not for me and many people. I really don't see it something to be snooty about.

I don't really know what you're trying to get at paperlace.

I already know it's not something embarassing, so I'm not sure why you're trying to tell me that?

Could you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to imply please?

Thing being Sallyforth and echt, the OP isn't talking about an exclusive invitation to 3 friends, she's actually trying to be really open and friendly and welcoming and say "anyone who wants can come along, just letting you know" - it's not her responsibility to ensure that everyone has seen the invitation, if they know the information is there but choose not to look at it.

Yes, I'm sure if OP's dc wanted to meet with a particular friend, then she would speak to, or text them personally, but this isn't what she's talking about, she's talking about letting the families of 60 children know that things are happening, if anyone wants to opt in. If they don't want to, that's fine too - she's not asking them why the haven't come, she's getting moaned at for someone not personally inviting each and every one of them to an informal "we'll be here if anyone wants to join us" thing. It's completely different from inviting a particular friend to an exclusive social event, which you are inviting just a couple of people to.

Yes, what back for good said.

You know what, this thread has clarified things for me - I understand now why people huddle in corners and make arrangements where no one else can here, because at least if they keep schtum they can't be accused of leaving people out.

I think that'll be my approach in future.

OK, going back to the OP's OP, the FB page is connected in some way with the school, I take it. So who put it up?

I get where you're coming from nemo, you feel as though you're making an effort to be inclusive to post on FB to say "hey a group of us are doing X, others welcome" and you're getting flack from people responding to that with "you should do more and go to more effort to make sure I'm included".

I hear your irritation but what can you do? Just say, "well Facebook is what works for me". If people want to be included in casual invites you post to Facebook then Facebook is where to find those. If they have a genuine wish to be more involved they can either get on Facebook or work out some other way of being more involved with people such as (for example) organising something themselves.

Yes yes yes yes YES OP - I know a number of these types of people, but also a couple who think email is the work of the devil (new-fangled technical rubbish - who can be bothered with that?) who therefore miss out on information from the school and then get annoyed because nobody told them!
One mum I know admits she only checks email once a month. What is the point of having it at all then? Don't give people your email address (or phone number or whatever) if it's not a valid mode of communication for you!

We use FB groups for organising loads of things and it has been an absolute godsend. We used to do it by a mixture of word-of-mouth, email, text and phoning and it was an absolute nightmare. I'm talking about things which involve many people (especially if you're organising who's doing what type things, not just telling people about an event).
We've had a few join FB specifically to take part in the group activities, they do absolutely nothing else on there at all - and that's fine!

I do think you ignore social networking at your own peril, really. I know it (whether it's FB or whatsapp or whatever) will most probably be the most normal way for our kids to organise stuff and keep in touch with their friends, and I don't think I'd want to be completely ignorant of it if only for that reason.

The page isn't connected in any way to the school, the school didn't create it a parent did but it is not linked to the school in anyway.

Rhi, yes you're right, absolutely.

the FB page is connected in some way with the school, I take it. So who put it up?

The only connection to the school is the fact the children are classmates/in the same year and it's an easy way for most mothers to stay in touch. Who put the page up is, therefore, irrelevant really.

Thanks, nemo, well in that case, the non-FBers have nothing to complain about, this is entirely a private arrangement.

(I didn't create the page, btw, just in case anyone was wondering - happy to use it though )