People who are high and mighty about not being on facebook and then bitch when they miss out on stuff that's organised through facebook

[nemoschmemo]

I know a few people like this. Turn their noses up at facebook (fine, their choice) but then go "wah, why wasn't I invited" when people make plans using facebook groups.

Case in point there's a fb group for parents of DC in my DDs year. People use it for things like reminders about what homework/spellings are this week.

Also sometimes gets used for social things - e.g. " a group of us are going to X play centre after school tonight if anyone fancies it."

I like fb groups for organising group activities - it's massively complicated trying to arrange things like that via text when you can't see what others are saying, email is too complicated as you end up with a gazillion emails and many of them cross.

With a fb group you can have a group conversation, it just makes sense.

But some people can't possibly just join fb to join a group and then just not indulge in the bits they don't like, they're too good for that. Fine. But don't then go '"WAH! I got left out!"

what Armani said - because FB exists, I'm more likely to extend the invite where I wouldn't otherwise, so if I decide to take the DC down to the park to scoot, I might just write on FB that's what I'm doing (total time, 20 seconds) in case anyone's at a loose end and fancies joining me, but if I had to individually text 50 people, I'd not bother as it would take too long - would just go with the DC.

Email is nowhere near as good as whatsapp groups (my preference) or FB for mass communications that require discussion/ responses because people forget to "reply all" etc.- conversations are also much harder to follow at a glance.

Schools here just text you if the school's closed- they have an SMS push system.

Some of these responses are just ridiculous.

There are 2 types of events being discussed as well. One is an invitation event, RSVP required, organised in plenty of time. Yes, those should extend beyond facebook and efforts should be made to include all the target group.

However, if, on a parents way to school they think "ooh it's a lovely day, shall we go to the park" then fb can be used to extend the invite beyond the group it would have gone to previously. Previously you would mention it to the parents you saw, now you can extend that by bunging it on the group.

Maybe those getting all pissy would like to write all the notes for the school to pop in book bags 5 minutes before the end of the school day every time that happens?

If you don't do facebook but know there is a group, then perhaps it is your responsibility to organise an alternative method of quickly and efficiently getting messages out. If you can't be bothered then you have no right to get shirty with anyone.

if you know you're missing something, then you might find work arounds. I have in the past been very grateful for someone telling me about communications I was excluded from.

But if you don't know what you're missing, then you don't know what you need to find work-arounds for.

I have found some forms/year groups to be much more inclusive than others. It's about mindset, really. And realising that those who are, for whatever reason, excluded and exactly that, excluded. And even if you do not feel remotely inclined to do anything to change that, that is actually fine. But it doesn't make the basic set up any less exclusive.

I'm not an 'organiser' or a 'host' I'm not the school secretary! how entitled of you!

If people don't use Facebook and they know that social things are organised that way, then I agree, they shouldn't get sniffy about missing out on stuff.

I don't use Facebook, simply because I find email/texts/mobiles intrusive enough and can't be bothered with yet another thing. That's my problem though. Our class rep uses an email distribution list and we all have each others mobile numbers, but if we used a Facebook group then I would have to join or miss out.

I am actually dying laughing at notes at book bags!!! oh hi dds teacher, I'm going to soft play after school - I've just taken the time to print out 60 flyers about it out of my own money now could you be a dear and put all 60 notes in a book bag each. whats that you say? a total wate of time and money? but I have to do this because some people choose not to use Facebook (how the hell am I supposed to know whp uses it and who doesn't? plenty of people don't have the same surnames as their kids). utterly entitled ridic suggestion that you would only make if you think the world revolves around you.

differentname imr going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you haven't read the thread and think I'm class rep or something because your posts are completely laughable otherwise. My crap organisational skills? What did I do before Facebook? relied on bumping into people and remembering to tell them!

It's not even my page btw! I just use it occasionally, the weird comments about me being really attached to/defensive about fb are strange too..seriously why do you think you know anything about how much I use fb?I teach four days a week, it'd be kind of tricky to fit in a fb addiction

It's not just for organising stuff, either - we have really interesting discussions about all sorts of topics, a bit like on MN but with a much smaller group where we all know each other (if only very vaguely). Lots of useful information gets passed on and shared too.

I completely agree op. I left fb then realised there was stuff I'd never have known about otherwise. Community events bring one of them.

I'm much tighter on my news feed now though.

"It is pretty short sighted to think that people are 'bitching' when they miss out because they aren't on fb. The problem lies with the organiser/s not making sure everyone is made aware of the events."

"All you need are ones for those who AREN'T on fb so you can email, a phone number to text or a slip of paper in the book bags. "

There aren't "events" and there isn't an "organiser". We're talking about stuff of the magnitude of a parent's thinking "It's a lovely day, I think we'll go to the park" and then posting "We'll be in the park after school if anyone wants to join us". Are you really suggesting that the park-goer has a responsibility to make sure that every single parent is informed of her plans to go to the park and the full range of joining options available to them, to the extent of putting notes in bookbags of people she doesn't know?

the other thing about fb is that it's 'opt in' people talking about somehow getting email addresses (can't see the school agreeing to that anyway, but..) or spamming book bags don't seem to have considered the people who don't want to be involved. Or am I expected to stand in the playground with a clipboard for weeks stopping every parent, asking them if they're on fb and if they're not asking them if they want to go on a distribution list in case they fancy going to the park after school?

I mean, "lazy organising"? WTF?

got to do school run, going to be working later so o doubt I'll be back to the thread - good points though, esp the ones about people with no Internet access (who wouldn't be reached by email either) or who genuinely can't use fb. This has been fun though lets do it again sometime I'll pop a note in your dc book bag next time I fancy a chat with you all

I have three teenage daughters and have been/am on endless group communications for sports, drama, school etc. I mean ENDLESS - maybe 100 or more over the years.

None of them have been on Facebook - all on email. And text, phone calls, face to face when needed. This has never, ever been a problem. Yes people miss things but it's nothing to do with the medium it's been on at all!

I've absolutely nothing against Facebook even though I am not on it anymore but it's ludicrous to imply anything other than Facebook won't work and people have to be on FB to be in these group communications. That's just being pig headed 'oh you're too high and mighty (WTF?) to be Facebook? Well fuck you, you'll miss out then'.

This thread is funny, some people really will argue about anything.

Obviously OP is not doing anything wrong, nor is she excluding people. Obviously.

The ridiculous 'high and mighty' comment was was the OP's doom WooWoo . Might have got less arsey replies if that was ommitted!

This thread has passed on some what but MaryWest you just listed ALL the reasons why I wouldnt give my email to the 'class rep'.

Not everyone can be on Facebook. Those with some high profile public jobs for example. Or those do roles that some may found controversial. many people need to keep their professional and personal life very discrete to protect their families etc

but if I had to individually text 50 people, I'd not bother as it would take too long - would just go with the DC.

dont you have group text facility? It is great

50 texts out is likely to then equal at least 35 replies. sounds like great fun if you have no life. .

i think people are missing the beauty of groups being the ability to have a group dialogue - texts and email will inevitably lead to duplication of questions and lots of back and forth - relying on one person to be organiser..I might actually look into whatsapp groups though I know for sure many people don't have smartphones.

If people are going to use the reason that not everyone can afford/access the internet then surely you could also say that not everyone can afford a mobile phone so texting excludes people too. You could also say that putting a note in a bag excludes people as not everyone can read or speak English. If you want to you can look for a reason for almost all methods of communication to be excluding somebody.

I find this interesting actually. A few years ago, the scenario of popping to the park and being able to invite a whole bunch of people didn't exist. You would text or telephone a person you knew well. You can now reach out to any one you know even vaguely via FB in almost real time. No one is obliged to use it and in my experiance 'formal' events are arranged via multiple means. But even people who decline to use FB have changed their mindset to think that everything should be available to them. It works the other way as well, FB enthusiasts getting snippy that something wasn't advertised to them i.e a meal with me and 2 school gate friends was questioned, why wasn't person c included? we barely knew her! but the concept of socialising with friends rather than everyone we knew was missed. Like it or not Social Media has changed things even for those who consciously don't use it and that is likely here to stay.

Yes it's a very convenient way to organise things/pass info on, but like others have said I find your attitude OP really awful. You're assuming that if they dont do FB they too are high and mighty. As others have said, there might be very valid reasons due to finances etc. It's terribly mean just to exclude these people.

Also I hope there's a system to let new people know about FB, because there's nothing worse than joking a new school then finding out after the event that you've missed out on things because you're not in a clique group.