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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to forego breastfeeding because I have very large breasts

159 replies

AlfieMoonOnaStick · 21/01/2015 17:28

I've read and re-read the literature that breast is best and the more natural: Stronger bond between me and our child, boosted immune system, cheaper,lol. And under normal circumstances I would likely go this route, regardless of pros and cons for formula. After all it is what we as a species have done for millenia (and am yet to see a bunny or indeed any other member of the natural world stocking up on Cow's Gate). Boot, my circumstances are a little removed from "normal", as are my boobies and I also ahve propriety to consider.

I have inherited old fashioned conservative American in-laws whose antiquated views would bankrupt the coffers of Cash in the Attic while almost making the Ahmish look risque. They still use words like courting and coffers -which I borrowed! So I am mindful of causing offence or doing anything they might deem disreputable. Such as talking while chewing or "obscenely" bf their grandchild. While at the same time not actually able to discuss the matter in full with mil who refers to a vagina as the mouth of creation.... in adult conversation. Believe you me, you don't want the remainder of the sentence it sprung from.

So as a consequence I dont even know if dh drank from the bottle, her breast or, that deep well of piety she submerges herself in. And he was too young to remember, so I don't have a clue how she might feel about the idea of walking in on her grandchild being airlifted onto the Hindenburg -that's the left nork, btw. Minus the explosion...for now.

Oh and before Im accused of being melodramatic, I'll just put that slight exaggeration into sharper perspective. I've always been overabundantly endowed (to channel my mil) but as of third trimester I'm involuntarily bra-free (and grievously leotardy - long story). As now my breasts are more significant, space wise that is, than my bump; splay somewhat out to my sides (but are not full at the top at all) and are past waist/crotch level
:-*> ...when standing, unclothed - just to be clear.

I'm on the short side yes. And no, not a size zero super hero, lol. But NONE of my extra weight is "downstairs". So look like a small planet on stumpy stilts (or what they might call in modern America an..... American), but with marginally more mobility if not grace and thankful for the worst winter in recent records. As it allows me to take up fulltime residence in heavy coats and ponchoes yay!! Because heaven knows the incessant gawping, pointing etc has become OTT. The BR discussion with hubby is the other white elephant in the maternity room. But at the moment am trying to put the baby ahead of the boobs, if only figuratively speaking!

Am torn, as whether to cop out and rely on formula milk. If so would you go organic? Even if i did bf I wouldnt dare do this in public. Look at what happened in celeb big brother the other day; would be mortified by similar incident. So we would be attempting to express into a bottle via pump, as best as possible. Anybody warn me of major difficulties for this, or is it do you need a Phd in physics? Otherwise, why not just take the next step and be done with it all together and just buy in? Or am I just being defeatist and lazy?

Alternatively, wet nursing was another option I looked at even if only for a few months, but dh is not keen on idea, has stopped making jokes now and moody on subject and developments in general. Will that automatically resign me to the crumby mummy parenting blacklist? One mother, I heard, referred to formula as arsenic with Saatchi marketing (presumably pre-Nigella). I wouldn't like to think I was poisoning my soon-to-be little one just because of self absorption, if I am being self absorbed that is. end essay. tia

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/01/2015 19:34

It appears from my camera roll that I went to my mum's (completely fine for me to hang out in pyjamas), to breastfeeding clinic and to a GP appointment when baby was about a fortnight old. I avoided timed stuff though and when I started visiting other people I'd give an am/pm indication and then call once I was in the car. I suppose I'm saying don't feel obliged to go out. Taking to your bedroom for a couple of weeks might be a good idea. Stock up on drinks and snacks in there.

I found yoga tops (cheap as hell from ebay) good for sleeping in while pregnant. I found fitted wired bras (converted to drop cup) more comfortable than non wired.

Catsize · 22/01/2015 19:54

Larger boobs are much better for random feeding positions. And you can have your baby on your lap and feed without having to hold him or her.

herecomesthsun · 22/01/2015 19:59

I went up to 34J, have done extended feeding with both dcs, much easier than bottles in the night and they loved it

HopefulHamster · 22/01/2015 22:00

OP what if your MIL would actually judge you more for bottle feeding? Why don't you talk to her about how she fed her son?

Do whatever, it doesn't really matter in the end. It's good for baby if it can have some breastmilk, but not the end of the world if it has none. But if the truth is you feel awkward just thinking about it, accept that decision is done to you, not your MIL. Unless I've missed a few posts you have no idea what she thinks? She may decide it's only proper to breastfeed and if you are breastfeeding you can have your entire boob out in her house if you so please! :)

PoppySausage · 22/01/2015 22:02

36L here and bf for 3 years. I didn't feed in public as I am so big. The rugby ball hold was perfect!

MistressDeeCee · 23/01/2015 04:00

But your MIL hasn't said she is against breastfeeding.

Do what feels best and comfortable for you in line with the good advice on here re. breastfeeding

wtffgs · 23/01/2015 06:17

32k Shock while FB.
Tbh bf finally made me love my boobs because they stopped being just a sex thing that men and women would comment on Hmm

Flat-chested bf counsellors wouldn't get the logistics tho Grin

wtffgs · 23/01/2015 06:17

Oh ffs bf not FB Confused

HazleNutt · 23/01/2015 12:03

OP, can you come back and tell us more about your MIL? You have the best writing style ever!

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