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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to forego breastfeeding because I have very large breasts

159 replies

AlfieMoonOnaStick · 21/01/2015 17:28

I've read and re-read the literature that breast is best and the more natural: Stronger bond between me and our child, boosted immune system, cheaper,lol. And under normal circumstances I would likely go this route, regardless of pros and cons for formula. After all it is what we as a species have done for millenia (and am yet to see a bunny or indeed any other member of the natural world stocking up on Cow's Gate). Boot, my circumstances are a little removed from "normal", as are my boobies and I also ahve propriety to consider.

I have inherited old fashioned conservative American in-laws whose antiquated views would bankrupt the coffers of Cash in the Attic while almost making the Ahmish look risque. They still use words like courting and coffers -which I borrowed! So I am mindful of causing offence or doing anything they might deem disreputable. Such as talking while chewing or "obscenely" bf their grandchild. While at the same time not actually able to discuss the matter in full with mil who refers to a vagina as the mouth of creation.... in adult conversation. Believe you me, you don't want the remainder of the sentence it sprung from.

So as a consequence I dont even know if dh drank from the bottle, her breast or, that deep well of piety she submerges herself in. And he was too young to remember, so I don't have a clue how she might feel about the idea of walking in on her grandchild being airlifted onto the Hindenburg -that's the left nork, btw. Minus the explosion...for now.

Oh and before Im accused of being melodramatic, I'll just put that slight exaggeration into sharper perspective. I've always been overabundantly endowed (to channel my mil) but as of third trimester I'm involuntarily bra-free (and grievously leotardy - long story). As now my breasts are more significant, space wise that is, than my bump; splay somewhat out to my sides (but are not full at the top at all) and are past waist/crotch level
:-*> ...when standing, unclothed - just to be clear.

I'm on the short side yes. And no, not a size zero super hero, lol. But NONE of my extra weight is "downstairs". So look like a small planet on stumpy stilts (or what they might call in modern America an..... American), but with marginally more mobility if not grace and thankful for the worst winter in recent records. As it allows me to take up fulltime residence in heavy coats and ponchoes yay!! Because heaven knows the incessant gawping, pointing etc has become OTT. The BR discussion with hubby is the other white elephant in the maternity room. But at the moment am trying to put the baby ahead of the boobs, if only figuratively speaking!

Am torn, as whether to cop out and rely on formula milk. If so would you go organic? Even if i did bf I wouldnt dare do this in public. Look at what happened in celeb big brother the other day; would be mortified by similar incident. So we would be attempting to express into a bottle via pump, as best as possible. Anybody warn me of major difficulties for this, or is it do you need a Phd in physics? Otherwise, why not just take the next step and be done with it all together and just buy in? Or am I just being defeatist and lazy?

Alternatively, wet nursing was another option I looked at even if only for a few months, but dh is not keen on idea, has stopped making jokes now and moody on subject and developments in general. Will that automatically resign me to the crumby mummy parenting blacklist? One mother, I heard, referred to formula as arsenic with Saatchi marketing (presumably pre-Nigella). I wouldn't like to think I was poisoning my soon-to-be little one just because of self absorption, if I am being self absorbed that is. end essay. tia

OP posts:
thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 21/01/2015 19:16

"Mouth of creation" - I just sang that in my head to 'Age of Aquarius' Grin

Dutch1e · 21/01/2015 19:17

Breastfeed. ESPECIALLY if MoC (Mouth of Creation) MIL is offended. It's a good opportunity to get them to: A) leave and B) understand early that you'll not be looking for advice. If challenged, refer to to the Mounds of Lactation as a (Brian) Blessed Gift

fanjobiscuits · 21/01/2015 19:23

I am double H size. Used feeding cushion from tupenny bits (or thrupenny?) and no problems for 18 months bf. I also used a cover which I much preferred for privacy.

maddening · 21/01/2015 19:27

The rugby hold is good for larger breasts - with a good bf support cushion.

As for pil - keep contact if any to a minimum - they. Sound a nightmare!

Swannykazoo · 21/01/2015 19:28

Is it school holidays already? Wow

auntynorm · 21/01/2015 19:29

I'm a big boobied woman; but because of a partial mastectomy on one of my boobies i can only bf on the one side - so I've ended up very large on the side that works and no increase on the dodgy side. I agree that i have to adjust myself so i don't smother ds due to the size and it took awhile to find a suitable bra (specially due to the very huge very noticeable size difference). but bf has been easy bearing that in mind; initially i was hesitant feeding in public or in front of people so i expressed milk in advance but I've slowly grown in confidence (but always have a bottle of expressed milk with me just incase). If you want to breast feed don't worry about your mil but if you're worried/not keen do what suits you - last thing you need is to be worried/uncomfortable

glittershoes · 21/01/2015 19:43

I was a 28GG pre pregnancy and went up to a 32K when feeding but I did so for 15 months without any problems. I found that rolling a muslin up and putting it under my boob helped keep it perkier and not flopping in the baby's face if you see what I mean! By 6 weeks I could do it in public with no-one knowing. I wore bump bands (£10 for three in New Look) which covered my tummy and then just lifted my top up, no-one saw a thing.

Having said that if you don't want to then don't! And certainly don't let your inlaws' opinions have any bearing on your decision!

Sonoma · 21/01/2015 19:46

Not sure what your post is getting at. Not sure if you are trying to convince yourself why it's sensible not to try, you want approval of your decision, you are genuinely unsure, or just want some support (by the way, AIBU is a really bad place for that, feeding boards would be a gentler place to start).

In short, breast size is largely irrelevant, you are very likely to be able to breastfeed if you want to (and who gives a stuff about your in laws?). So not to bf as you have large breasts is not a reasonable approach. Not to bf because you don't want to is perfectly reasonable as it's up to you! But if undecided, with all these thoughts flying about, why not try, if you don't like it, easy to stop - pretty difficult to do the other way round and relactate. And in the meantime, every bit of colostrum potentially makes a difference.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 21/01/2015 19:48

I am a 32G normally, 32H when pregnant/breastfeeding. Didn't even occur to me that the size of my breasts would cause an issue?

BF if you want. Don't if you don't. Don't let other people influence your decision.

glittershoes · 21/01/2015 19:50

Meant to add, I got my nursing bras from Bravissimo, here

They go up to a K come in a few designs.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 21/01/2015 19:50

Oh and while it's a bit harder to be discrete in public it's not impossible. You don't have to get your whole breast out to breastfeed!

theRotcod · 21/01/2015 19:52

I think if you want to breastfeed, you should give it a go. If it's not for you then move on to formula. Don't start on formula purely to avoid offending your in-laws. I think you'll regret it.

Your in-laws might be supportive anyway, you never know. My in-laws aren't and although it can upset me, I wouldn't let it stop me. If I stop breastfeeding it will be because I think it's best for me and my baby.

BoffinMum · 21/01/2015 19:54

I have a 34G bust and fed four children. My breasts look the same as they did before bf, in my opinion very nice indeed. Very few people made a fuss and I generally ignored the ones that did, because I thought they were ignorant. If I thought feeding would offend grumpy elderly relatives and I didn't want a battle, I would leave the room discreetly and ask one of the female ringleaders to bring a cup of tea up to my bedroom as I had to do a bit of feeding and thought I might do it up there. Said grumpy females would then turn all sweetness and light. When I got bored feeding small people I moved them onto Hipp Organic formula - all formulas are fine, and are made that way by law, but I felt the Organic one appealed to my middle class values. Really, it's all not that big a deal.

MummyPig24 · 21/01/2015 19:54

I'm an H cup and 10 months in to breastfeeding dc3. I'm not self conscious of my (v.large) spaniels ears anymore.

But you feed your baby however you want. Nobody ever died from having formula.

BoffinMum · 21/01/2015 19:55

Yes, I was formula fed personally and was the picture of health.

Bodicea · 21/01/2015 19:58

I would breast feed just to annoy the inlaws!

Namechangeyetagaintohide · 21/01/2015 19:59

I'd probably do it just to be contrary. Do whatever suits you OP. Bugger anyone else.

CrumpleHornedSnorkack · 21/01/2015 20:00

I'm an L cup and BF my two DC so it can be done but it takes a bit of juggling in public.

Namechangeyetagaintohide · 21/01/2015 20:00

Grin cross posted.

Bodicea · 21/01/2015 20:04

On a more serious note. I am rather ample too. I do think it is a bit harder to be discrete in public if you are well endowed but nothing you can't get over with a bit of practice and you can always try mixed feeding once supply is established ( I mixed fed from 10 weeks with one bottle in the day when out and about and one at night).

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/01/2015 20:05

I was ok bf with big breasts, though was very careful with keeping his nose clear, especially at night when I was so tired.

Bodicea · 21/01/2015 20:05

Grin namechange

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 21/01/2015 20:10

OP, we DO want the rest of the sentence with the phrase "mouth of creation"!!!!

TheNumberfaker · 21/01/2015 20:33

If you want to breastfeed, then big boobs shouldn't stop you. I personally managed two separate stints of 12 months with my two DDs. I've varied between 32J and 36HH.
As for the conservative MIL, who cares what anyone else thinks?

quietbatperson · 21/01/2015 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.