To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

Number3 - independent schools in the UK, pretty standard amount of holidays for indies

hoping I don't see why SAHP or anyone needs to get a job if she doesn't want to. As long as they aren't getting the tax payer to pay for it.

It's not exactly a taxing life. So as long as you don't promote it as such I can't see a problem. So yes it's the life of Reilly.But if it's an option for you then why not. The only thing is don't wake up in 10 years and think gosh I wish I had pursued a career.

Hopingforamiracle - I can assure you there was no nagging involved in our case! As it happens DH loves his job, and has always wanted me to be at home with the DCs. He absolutely respects me and there is no resentment at all

Do Starbucks etc. even sell trifle?

If not then they should!

TwoLittleTerrors I work full time job, I don't even take my full holiday entitlement generally, and I still find it all pretty easy... I read a lot of threads though where the chores people do, are just things that have never needed to spend any effort doing, either they don't get done, or they're done as part of something else.

he's not funding me.

as i said, i've worked weekends for the last 10yrs.

i've also got some money of my own tucked away from PPI and inheritance that i have used to support us both in the last 12mo when he got made redundant and wasn't earning a damn penny because he couldn't find work.

He's just started a new job and i've made the choice to give mine up.

If there is any resentment over money, then there is something wrong in the relationship.

One working and one being a SAHP should be mutual decision that works for the family.

hoping And I would struggle if my DH dies young even though I work FT. (Maternity atm and will be back FT later this year).

ladydepp Wowzers!! that would cost me a fortune in childcare!

I have to admit, I am one of those who would be bored at home.

I am not very good at finding things to do (and I would definitely lose my motivation, I know this from having time off after having operations!)

Working full time is for me, but it's not for everyone so I wouldn't go shoving it down other people's throats.

I don't feel in the slightest bit guilty that I am home while DH works - apart from anything he much prefers it this way.

My kids get 17-18 weeks holidays a year (I am in the US). They get 11 weeks summer holiday. When I worked it was a complete nightmare trying to organise childcare for the whole thing. DH travels a lot for work, so everything ended up being my job - holiday childcare, sick children, MLK day, everything. When I worked I was permanently stressed.

Now he comes home to dinner cooked, homework done, holidays planned, laundry folded, house cleaned, dog walked, cats fed, bills paid, children paid attention to...

Also he gets to take my tax allowance now, so we don't even miss my salary all that much.

Well yes, I suppose it is in someways. Until one is off sick or its the holidays!!!

Number - Mine also have 20+ weeks school holidays. Month at Xmas and Easter, 10 weeks in summer, plus feb, may and October half terms

Plumping

it seems the general consensus on here that women lose self esteem and identity when on mat leave or short spell as sahm and can't wait to get back to work.
There are threads full of the stuff.
Not a judgement but an observation.

My point is a long term sahp obviously doesn't feel like this or we'd all be clamouring to get back to work.
I am celebrating 24 years this year
Whilst i know its not for everyone it suits me and my family.

I wish I could give my husband my tax allowance!!!!

IMO the problem is that people seem to think "oh this is easy" in THEIR situation, so automatically they assume that EVERY SAH parent has it easy. That's not necessarily so.

I am a SAHM technically, as I am a lone parent to 2 dcs in primary school. One is disabled, the other has SNs. They are hard work. As they go to 2 separate schools, school runs take up 2 hours of every weekday. Then there are the appointments during school hours for consultants, paeds, OT, SALT, GPs for various other health concerns, eye problems, dental problems, school meetings for each school, school activities. Around that I need to get any house stuff done during the school day, as they need constant supervision when they are home. I can't do it in the evening as it will wake them up, plus I need to get sleep as ds1 wakes up repeatedly during the night. I'm also trying to slowly get DIY done on the house, as it needs a lot of work.

Today, I have one home with D&V, after having dropped off the car to get fixed. I have a broken tooth, but cannot go in to get it fixed until next week, as even though the dentist could have fixed it today (they had time on their schedule), I cannot go in due to no car and ill child at home. I will have to put ds1 in his wheelchair to go pick up ds2 from school later if the car is not done in time for school run (and hope he isn't ill during that time!), and then do the same tomorrow morning for school run again.

In the meantime, because ds1 is home ill, I'm not getting any of the things I needed to get done today, because he is home (same goes for tomorrow as he can't go back until he's better obviously). This means 2 days worth of things to be added to Friday's massive list of "to do's" ... which is looking like ds1 will likely still be home, so I'll have to do the shopping online for delivery over weekend, as taking the dcs to the supermarket can be a nightmare as ds1 doesn't cope well.

But.... I have had people say to me "oh, aren't you lucky, getting to relax all day while the dcs are in school." Yeah, sure. So YOUR situation might be the life of Reilly, but not everyone's is. Just saying.

Pedantic correction - Life of Riley not Reilly!

I admit I am quite looking forward to both my children being at school. (They are four and two at the moment). I will be able to go to all the school plays and assemblies without any trouble, and be around for sick days. I will be able to get all the jobs done in the week that currently take up time at the weekends, such as mowing the lawn and cleaning out the chickens, and to keep on top of the housework. I could cook everything from scratch and not use any more jarred sauces, and do lots of baking. I'll be able to devote more time to the garden. I could organise all my photos from the past 10 years... that is the plan anyway. Maybe I will just end up reading, surfing the web or watching all the programmes I have recorded over the past couple of years.

My mum often asks me if I will get a job when they both go to school, although I did point out that there aren't many 9:30-2:30 term-time only jobs. However, she lives locally so could possibly pick them up from school on some days if I did get a job. DH is happy for me to be at home at the moment. I think I'd like to stay at home at least until they've done a couple of years of primary school. I do some freelance work at home so will be able to take on more of that and earn a bit more money.

If you are spending five days a week on housework, shopping and errands then you are doing it wrong. Unless you live in a mansion.

I don't have any strong desire to climb any greasy poles. I don't define my worth by my job. I don't even particularly enjoy working that much.

Even so, I could never, ever put myself in a position where I was totally dependent on my partner for my security on a long term basis. I just couldn't. If they drop dead tomorrow, how would I support myself?

I'm almost in awe of people who can willingly put themselves into such a vulnerable position.

That's not a dig at long term SAHP's. I just couldn't do it.

morethanpotatoprints I know it's true for some, but your statement did seem like a rather sweeping generalisation!

I understand your point but don't think it's quite as simple as that. There are also a great many SAHPs out there who would quite like to return to work but feel that they have nothing they can contribute due to their long time out of the paid workforce. Some of those parents lose self-esteem in the process, however much they may have had to start with.

Basically, I think it's all very variable.

hoping

I was wondering where you got your info about the life of a sahm, its funny i'll give you that.
Particularly the nagging our dh to sah.
I don't think I've met anybody who fits your definition.
Obviously you have?

I work on a freelance basis and try to take time off between contracts. The weeks I have off between full time work (one primary aged DC, one preschool) certainly do seem like the life of Reilly! I love it!

The time I am temporarily a SAHM is absolutely nothing like a full time job. It's like a very enjoyable holiday. I honestly don't understand when other SAHMs complian.

So in conclusion - YANBU. Enjoy it!

Plumping, yes I can see that, hadn't thought of it that way I suppose its like any other debate on here, you see what your life is like and when somebody levels something at your lifestyle choice that isn't like you, you shout Hey, not me.
Similar to my post above

I'm pretty much a SAHM now. It would be the life of Riley except we went and got a puppy! It's like having another baby!

Even so, I could never, ever put myself in a position where I was totally dependent on my partner for my security on a long term basis. I just couldn't. If they drop dead tomorrow, how would I support myself?

Life insurance? I would be a fair bit better off if DH dropped dead...