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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

418 replies

Mummyusername · 21/01/2015 11:41

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 23/01/2015 15:16

Washing them after every use. People always seem to mix up the two Wink

Baddz · 23/01/2015 15:18

I wash towels after each use!
Is that another mn no no!?
:)

Jackieharris · 23/01/2015 15:21

Stinkle- how you describe your life is my idea of hell. But I guess we're all different.

What this thread shows is that this lifestyle suits some women but not others.

SallyStarbuck · 23/01/2015 15:22

I'm intrigued now. We both work f/t and going by your list, Baddz, we also do...

Washing on most days
Dust once a week, hoover twice a week, steam mop once a week
Iron one a week
Bathroom once a week at least
Grocery shopping (not delivery)

I think the only thing that is different is that we do the bedding fortnightly

I always assumed SAHP's were doing about 8 times more housework than we were. This is hugely enlightening...

QueenOfBrian · 23/01/2015 15:22

Nobadz lots of mns apparently wash them after everyuse sorry not every day Grin

Baddz · 23/01/2015 15:24

No, I dont think they do less. (But I am quite lazy!)
It's the timings I guess...when I worked ft I had to do housework and ironing at the weekend and in the evenings,
Now I do it during the day.

leedy · 23/01/2015 15:24

I now feel like some kind of terrible towel slattern.

Baddz · 23/01/2015 15:25

Sally...some may do...just not me :)

Baddz · 23/01/2015 15:26

"Towel slattern"
:)
My dc have eczema and Dh is prone to impetigo so it's a good idea for me to wash after each use.
Or everyone would be all scaly and gross.
:)

morethanpotatoprints · 23/01/2015 15:45

Another towel slattern here.
There are 4 of us at home ds1 has left now.

I wash towels when they need it, usually once a week.
They go in together, usually with one lot of single bedding.
Next week with a different single bed.
Our double bedding goes in with a load of pales or darks, depending on the colour.
In addition to this I do one load of whites, and one load of pale/colours depending on which has full load.

So an average of 4 loads a week.

Deux · 23/01/2015 16:00

I don't do a massive amount of housework as a SAHM. As the pp said, it's just that I do mine in school hours.

I do towels every couple of days and bedding once every week to 10 days.

On the subject of SAHMing. I do find that my 'work' just expands to fill the time available. I have to make a real effort to be efficient as it's so easy to put stuff off. I have no doubt that if I was working I'd be much more efficient. That expression, if you want something done give it to a busy person. It's so true for me.

I've slid into inefficiency recently. To get back into the groove I treat my SAHMing as a job. So lists, priorities, deadlines etc. I find it easy to drift without external influences and time constraints.

When DD was at nursery I was more efficient eg I'd think OK, I have to do x, y and z before I pick her up at 1pm.

That said I've spent about 10 hours this week on my voluntary work at home. I enjoy it as it uses many of my former career skills. However it is unseen and unrewarded. It is appreciated and does give some sense of validation but it is quite far from self actualisation. And once the project is complete very few people will have any clue that I was involved with it. Recently,(Following on from my last post) I've found myself wailing inside, this is bloody hard, no other bugger wants to do it, I should be paid for this (voluntary ) work.

So it's helping me seek paid opportunities.

Another observation I have regarding working. I think as far as many are concerned, and perhaps wider society, what is important is just to be able to say that you work. Where, for how long and for what reward is irrelevant. I'm surprised by some mothers at the school gates about the song and dance they make about their work only to find that in reality they're only working 6 hours a week or something. So I am increasingly feeling like the odd one out as I can't join in those conversations. Not to mention someone (snidely) saying oh well deux, you've got it easy.

Oh well.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 23/01/2015 16:01

On the SAHP thread on chat, one of the chores was BUYING towels, it's not just washing them you have to do, a complete refresh regular enough that it's a chore!

It's the listing of things as a chore that there's any debate on who does it that get to me - putting out the bins for example - you do it when they're full surely, and whoever fills it just does it, it's a non-event isn't it. Like buying new towels, if you're in a shop that sells towels, you think they look good value and you remember yours are a bit manky you buy new ones, it takes no real effort.

Can't one of the slatternly SAHP's find out who Reilly / Riley is for us anyway? We don't even know what sort of life they enjoyed!

Baddz · 23/01/2015 16:10

The last time I bought towels was pre dc

Stinkle · 23/01/2015 16:12

apparently who Riley was is a mystery Grin

I don't do masses of housework. We do nothing bar the bare minimum over the weekend, so Mondays I usually start upstairs and work down, changing beds, etc, then keep on top of it the rest of the week. I loathe gardening (as does DH) so cutting the grass is about it, we haven't got any flower beds. As for towel washing, they all get changed on a Monday, then as and when the rest of the week.

Jackie different strokes for different folks I guess. We're all just trying to live our lives and raise our kids as best we can.

Deux · 23/01/2015 16:13

I bet Riley wasn't buying towels Smile

And as we're talking about towels, I don't do a towel wash. So put white towels in white wash.

I might swing by Chat as I've got all Chat conversations disabled.

Stinkle · 23/01/2015 16:31

Another observation I have regarding working. I think as far as many are concerned, and perhaps wider society, what is important is just to be able to say that you work. Where, for how long and for what reward is irrelevant.

Yes, I agree.

I was having a discussion about this in the pub with an acquaintance (friend of a friend on a night out sort of thing). The main thrust of it was that I have it easy (yes, I do, I'm not disagreeing!) and she didn't as she had to work. She actually works as a lunch time assistant at a local primary school and works about 6 hours a week.

The fact that the hours I volunteer add up to about that didn't count. Then add the hours I spend doing fostering paperwork, making phone calls, chasing people up, attending meetings, or training and fishing young people out of police stations at 2am.

Several people agreed with her actually. I was a bit Hmm

windchime · 23/01/2015 16:32

I have noticed that a lot of the SAHMs on the school run have issues with their weight. I guess if you are not working the fat off and just snacking all day, it is going to show in the end.

o0 · 23/01/2015 16:37

I wish, windchime, I wish. All skinny Minnie's at my DS's school and the token fat lady.

o0 · 23/01/2015 16:38

Missed out a word. Im the token fat lady it should have read.

Deux · 23/01/2015 16:40

In DDs class us mums, we're all quite slim. There are only 3 with a weight problem and I just realised they all work in nurseries, part time.

gamerchick · 23/01/2015 16:40

Heh meow Grin

leedy · 23/01/2015 16:41

Only person I know who is a SAHM to school age children is incredibly fit because she spends hours at the gym/running/cooking Paleo diet stuff when they're not at school. green eyed monster emoticon

leedy · 23/01/2015 16:41

I on the other hand work in an office with a kitchen full of snacks and need to exert great will power lest I turn into a human weeble.

gamerchick · 23/01/2015 16:41

How can you tell a sahp anyway. Do they have a sign on their back?

Deux · 23/01/2015 16:41

In my area, and I'm generalising, weight appears to be a socio economic issue. But that's a whole other thread.