To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

Yes, I think that's exactly it Goldfish. When it's like a holiday (i.e. maybe the first 1-2 years) it's great but after a while you need a purpose.

Problem is people have to find a title for jobs that are just part and parcel of family life. Giving my son a lift hardly equates to my being a taxi driver and changing my daughters nappy doesn't make me a nursery nurse. Giving DH train times doesn't make me a pa!

At this rate it'll be "coffee with friends - I'm an extra in 'Friends'!'

is so liberating to find this thread! I has been wondering if I was missing something. I so enjoy my life as a SAHM. Moments of madness, fair bit of housework and coking, but I actually enjoy that, and a fair bit of me time.

I had a well paid, stimulating highly paid job in the city. I thought I was going to really miss it. Nope. I miss it at rare times, but the life I am leading now feels like a life, rather than rushing here there and everywhere,

Family I totally agree. If I wasn't going back to work soon I would definitely fill up my time with something else and probably end up even busier than before :)

As I am sure lots of SAHMs do!

I am a SAHM to a senior school DS (12) I did go back to work when he was 2 for a few years but I love being at home. It works for us as DP has a long commute so I am always around for DS and the dog.
I loved my job working with children and still miss it occasionally but the set up where I worked and my worrier personality meant I found it really stressful. I love being my own boss and try not to waste time and find constructive things to do. I make greeting cards, love walking and hope to start writing the novel that is in my head soon!
I know I am lucky to be in the position where I can stay at hope we don't have a lot of money but manage. I seem to have a different mentality to a lot of people who would never entertain the idea of not working and would find it boring. I have a theory that being a SAHM suits introverts better?

I'm a SAHM to 2 primary aged kids at the moment, and it's very easy 90% of the time. I love it and feel very lucky.

Yes, but it's what those things are that I struggle with Goldfish. I don't want to work f-t, I don't need to and as I have the choice, I think it's important to be here when DC come home from school.

I fill the time with lots of things I enjoy, gardening, meeting friends, volunteering, exercise and can keep on top of the house without any stress, but there's no sense that I "need" to do any of those things, no sense of purpose or (and this might make me shallow) no sense that anyone else cares or appreciates how I spend my time.

Don't know what type of super sleuthing you're at arsenic. Not very soon obviously as its January but soon enough!

Oh god, much too knackered for sleuthing, but you sound fairly anti-SAHM. Are you sure you're not about to reveal this is about your BFF/SIL?

I find I get a bit fed up between 3 and 6 - dead hours. Easy but dull.

I hate routine and being able to do what i wanted when i wanted was great!

Same here. I do have a routine of sorts, but I have the freedom to think fuck it, and sack it off for the day. I'm having a fuck it day today and have spent vast amounts of this morning on my Homes Under The Hammer and Wanted Down Under addiction

Yes, I'm usually busy, but it's stuff I want to do. Well, apart from the dog walking bit when it's pissing down with rain

I am a SAHM to a preschooler and primary age child. I was really looking forward to having time to myself but really the mornings are mostly taken up with housework etc and the afternoon with doing homework, entertaining kids, cooking. It's like bloody Groundhog Day. I feel guilty if I'm not doing something house-related and I've got no money for the gym or shopping. I'm hoping to get back to p/t work soon but DH works appalling hours so it looks like I'll be doing all drop offs, pick ups (unless we get a childminders), sick days and arranging childcare for holidays. We have no family to help so it's going to be a logistical nightmare. So the best bit about being a SAHM for me is not have to worry about all that.

I got made redundant a year or so ago and for several months was a SAHM - and I must admit I was surprised how well I took to it. The house ran like clockwork, I was so organised and everyone was happier.

For money reasons have had to take on some freelance work now which can be quite full on. But I'd have carried on being a SAHM if I could I think. And written the novel I've always dreamed of at the same time.

Nothing wrong with living the life of Reilly if you can - why not ?

YANBU, it sounds heavenly, if difficult financially.

3 and 6 aren't dead hours here, lol, i'm picking the kids up, quite often my friends son too, taking him home, bringing my two home, unpacking bags, doing reading with them, prepping dinner, refereeing their fights, cooking, eating, cleaning up and then i might get 30 mins to sit down before we're into the bedtime routine.

my favourite time is 12-2, i make sure that MY time to sit and do bugger all, i eat lunch, watch a film, MN and just take some time-out for myself.

Family, I would:
Write a book
Do my veg patch properly
Make more quilts
Plan more excitements for the DCs (like weekend camping trips etc)
Do more baking
Maybe volunteer driving for the elderly or something (I used to do this in my gap year)
Get a dog and walk it a lot

As it is I spend most of the time at home (when I am working) sleeping when the DCs sleep! In bed at 7.30pm and up at 6am.

Though am very excited that I will be going back part time and having Friday off as 'me time'

YANBU - I've been a SAHM for the past 9 years (since DTwins were 7) .

They are now in their first year at college and I really REALLY don't want to go back to being a wage-slave. I love my life

*Not claiming any benefits btw - just in-case anybody wants to 'have a go'

Well when my kids are both in primary in a few years time we will probably continue with our current arrangement where I work full time and my partner is SAHD. I wouldn't swap. I much prefer working. The SAHP is still responsible for all the household stuff, which is not really my bag.

I am at home but we run a business so I AM my husbands PA, Book keeper, admin etc etc. Until recently I worked full time, both kids are full time schooled.

I am very busy with our business, at least 4 hours plus a day in the office, supply runs etc. I do all house work and cooking plus deal with most of the kids stuff. It is far far easier to be at home working the hours I work compared to the depressing drudge of full time work with a neglected house, things piling up around me etc. What SAHMs do in the week the workers are trying to cram into weekends and evenings with family quality time struggling to make an appearance, its bloody hard and to compare my experience of the two I know which one I would take any time, and I do have time lost to work in the day.

I can run round the hover, dust, clean the kitchen & bathroom in the morning before ten, put some washing in and f I didn't have to work after that the whole rest of the day until school run would be mine, to get chores etc done, rest, read, bake etc. Even more important is the free weekend time.

I hope you enjoy it OP! Family life is so much happier for all of us now.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having more time to yourself and having the 'life of reilly' - all choices valid. Good for you if you enjoy that down time and you can afford to do so!

But please those posters with the 'I'm SAHM cook, cleaner, driver, counsellor etc' - I work FT and I am all of those things to my kids as well believe it or not!

I hated being a SAHM to my kids when they were aged 1 and 2, as I didn't actively choose it (no job to go back to IYSWIM) and I found them to be hard work and immensely frustrating around 50% of the time. I rejoiced when I went back to work FT (with a 3 hour round-trip commute daily) as it meant that I finally had some time to myself, doing something I enjoyed that had clear, achievable milestones

However, I've been in my FT job for 18 months now and have just applied to WFH 2 days a week so that I actually see them out of their pyjamas occasionally.

I think that my long-term plan of working reduced hours when they're at school will suit me perfectly - not too much work, not too much whiny child time (plus they'll be slightly older and hopefully not quite as frustrating to deal with)!

By the way, I think that both introverts and extroverts can enjoy being a SAHP, but both types of parent need to be able to cope with high levels of noise/mess/unpredictability. I couldn't, initially, and really really struggled.

I'm going to jump in on the defence of SAHM's and full time working Mum's here!

As a full time working Mum (and have been since my children were just a couple of months old) you do still manage to get all of your daily chores done (i.e feed, shopping, tidying etc)
My reason personally is that I pay someone else to drop my kids off and pick them up (breakfast and after school club) This of course isn't the case if you are a SAHM, you are doing this job yourself, therefore you already have lost time out of your day.

Being a SAHM you are more likely to do jobs that us full time working Mummies don't always get round to - be honest now full time mummies! We all have that drawer or cupboard that isn't cleaned.

Yes I am sure some SAHM's watch a bit of TV at home, as do I during my lunch break at work!!

I think SAHM's get a bit of a raw deal if I am honest. I find going to work quite a bit less stressful than looking after my kids during holidays (but obviously I prefer my kids to my colleagues!)

I think there is a lot to be said for appreciating how difficult it is for both SAHM's and full time working Mums.

None of us get an easy ride, but we do what we can and we make a damn good job of it

We should all pat ourselves on the back once in a while.

personally, for us, we'd rather have to tighten the belts and me be at home for the kids if they're ill or holidays than me work full time and us have to find childcare if they're sick.

i have the option to do PT work (as i have done for 10yrs on weekends) through agencies if i want to earn some pennies as i've got a good admin/retail background and qualifications as a TA.

But do i think its the 'life of riley?' No.. its a life choice, but i'm not sitting on my arse having tiffin either.

Life of riley to me would be those women with rich spouses and no kids who literally spend all day shopping/socialising.

Reading with interest as DH and I are considering me giving up work to be SAHM to DCs aged 2 and 5. I do wonder about when younger DC goes to school, I can definitely keep myself busy and be very happy, but is it fair to live life of Reilly when DH works FT? Do any of you who do it feel guilty?

Sounds great! My dc and dh are out all day at work and school then when they all come home I need to leave as I work evenings. I thought as they were older it would be fine but if anything I think they need me more. Help with homework, lifts to clubs etc. If I could afford to stay home a bit longer I would. Enjoy it while you can op!

senior school, meaning extra school runs and no doubt why the feck does a senior school child require taking to school?