To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

I had an epiphany the other day - I thought 'Christ, more bloody laundry, it's so boring. And cooking. And washing up. I should go back to work'

Then I realised that even if I went to work, the laundry, cooking and washing up would still have to be done. It doesn't disappear.

Sounds obvious but it was a realisation that its not one or the other - if you WOTH, you do both.

If you have a secure home, money and transport, if you and your dc are in good health then I imagine it could be a wonderful life.

Take away one or two of these and it is bloody hard work.

I work 15-20 hours pw and SAHM for the rest. Children are 11 and 9. Life is a piece of piss most of the time. It does help that I love my job though, I think without it I'd go a kettle mental.

Little, not kettle!

This is such an interesting thread and I'm fully prepared to admit that I come at this with distinctly green eyes.

I have three children, one at school, one toddler and one pre-schooler. I've never not worked, bar stints of maternity leave. I'd love to have had the option not to work but we've always needed my salary and I'm lucky in that I enjoy my work and am good at it. I now work four days out of five running my own business and I'm doing well. However, if I'm not working, I'm with the children, and if I'm not either either, I'm trying to cram in everything else. I get no down time or me time. Not a ruddy sausage. And God, I want it.

I have a number of friends who don't work with school-age and pre-school-age children, and to me, I can't help but look at their lives with a more than slightly envious glance. They have time to themselves every single week, for hours at a time. While yes, they have housework and food shopping, and labels to sew and library books to take back... but so do I. I often hear how tired they are and how they don't have a minute, and I feel awful but i want to poke them in the eye with one of their artfully-arranged lilies or a home-baked scone. Don't get me wrong, I'm chuffed to bits with my life, but I would kill for a day a week to just potter. To go to the gym, drink coffee, read the paper.

And a quick question, how long do you lucky, lucky SAHMs plan on being off? Until the children are in school and settled, or until they're at secondary school or longer? And what would you go back to doing - do you have the kind of roles that you could go back to, or would you want to look to do something different? Or, do you reckon you're done now? Again, I wilt with jealousy...

Everything is in my name or joint. I have my own money and property

Assuming you're married, you think that if you divorce, everything in your name will just simply stay yours and your name on a bank account means you automatically get half of that as well?

But I don't get the "don't like housework" bit....well don't bloody do it then. If I worked more than 10 hours outside of the home I'd have a cleaner
What if you work more than 10 hours a week and hate cleaning but can't afford a cleaner?!

ears

I've been off too long to go back to a similar role

What I would like is a little 4-8 hour job doing something I enjoy and with the potential for it to turn into more hours if necessary

I was thinking about training to be a dental nurse or something as those little jobs are like gold dust and being trained to actually do something maybe more useful

I can afford to be fussy at the moment so I am really only looking at stuff I fancy

I do work for 4 hours a week at the moment but I've had enough of it and I'm leaving in the summer whether I've found something or not

Rufus, I look like the incredible hulk, I'm that green...

I'll probably eventually go back to a similar job to the one I left last year or I'll set up as a freelancer again. There aren't many good employers round here so I definitely didn't burn my bridges when I quit my last job.

Ears

So far I have been off for 23 years, I plan to be off for the rest of my life.
Around 60 i will retire from being off

Storminateacup - You dont do both if you work you just do part of it.

"t. Just never seems enough time to get everything done."
That's exactly how I feel at work!

ears

If it's any consolation I need to die before I retire as I'll have no money

I am going to guilt my children into looking after me in my old age...oh shit I might have to start being nice to them....Bugger!!! Should have thought of that earlier

This is a good thread. I'm a feminist and I don't think SAHMs let the side down at all. Feminism is all about choosing what's right for you. I also agree that circumstances can dictate the role (I wish that wasn't so but was a genuinely free choice in all cases)

I still stand by my cautionary note earlier however, that the luxury of being a SAHM can be snatched away from you in a very short space of time.

Fay Weldon wrote something very interesting , in that whilst women work much more these days they still do all (most ) the fucking housework! Soany are tired and unhappy. It's true . I have loved my little sahm stint recently , bloody loves it

So I salute the happy sahm out there , and also send compassion to the bloody knackered wohm. I will rejoin you next week

Oh and for the working mums. Read a very interesting article saying we need to reclaim our lunch hours. I agree . My plan for 2015 is

1 for a walk
1 to do shopping for bits so you don't need to drag kids to shops at the weekend
1 for a manicure ( or even massage/ facial)
1 leave work to do top up shop at supermarket

I can't be a donkey this year again

I don't get a lunch break at work :(

Why not !? That's illegal

creambun what do you mean if you work you don't do both you do part of it?

I drop my girls at school everyday then run to catch my train so I can be at my desk at 930. I pick them up 3 days a week. I cook all their meals, wash their clothes, clean the house, make their beds, supervise homework, put them to bed. The only thing I don't do twice a week is pick them up when our childminder takes them home and has them for 2 hours till I get back.

Genuine question what part is it I am not doing?

I agree with the poster up thread who said if you have a secure home, money, transport and health then it is life of Riley.

Surely if you work a certain number of hours you legally have to be offered a lunchbreak (even if you don't take it)

I get half an hour a day and I ALWAYS go out for a walk unless it is really pissing down. T

I work 4 days a week, worked school hours term time only when had dependent children, after 10 years as a SAHM. Once I had done a couple of years on the PTA, helping in school a day a week, helping at church, I wanted more and so got a job. I have a cleaner and a DH who does the cooking.

Because I do the school run, I forgoe my lunch as I'm in later and leave after 6 hours meaning I don't legally require to take a lunch break. I then have to make up the rest of my hours at home - It's not great tbh but we'd struggle otherwise. It means that there isn't really a clear delineation between home and work though.

Don't have a lunch break. I could if I wanted. Surely you're entitled to one but it's not illegal to work through?

When I did 5.5 hours a day I was entitled to 15 min break. So it is possible not to have a lunch 'hour' but you should get 15mins(not that you can go out in 15mins) I think it's for every 4 hours you work?