To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

A typical day for me is getting myself and boys up (DH is already away to work) we have breakfast, get showered, dressed and I make up packed lunches (i'm allowed to eat at my desk). I drop them at school and go to work, do my 6 hours, head from work to school, pick the boys up, get home, log back into work and in between I try to clear the breakfast dishes and get dinner on. As I've cooked, DH clears up and then we juggle the rest of the housework for a bit and also take the boys to whatever activities are on, and be available for homework. I check to make sure I've completed the work expectd and the hours I should be doing and then i mess about on here for a bit, lay out clothes etc for the next day and so it begins again.

proper housework has to get picked up at the weekend together with visiting elderly parent, shopping and activities with family.

Honestly its too much bit we dont have a choice - I'm running to keep up most of the tie and under enormous pressure from time to time. Boys are happy and doing well at school and are pride and joy. We managed to juggle things so that when they were little (apart from a few months when DS1 was a baby) they always had a parent at home until they went to school - that was mainly DP though I juggled hours to get them from nursery so he could work late shifts.

if we could afford for me to be at home for a while (I'm the major wage earner so unlikely) then I would do it like a shot even though the boys are young teenagers now. The only break from work I've had it 4.5 month mat leave with DS1 and 5.5 months with DS2. i've been made redundant twice and always temped etc in between. Holidays were difficult and expensive to cope with when they were younger too.

As far as I have worked out - you can work up to 6 hours with no break, after that you need to take a minimum of 20 minutes. if I take a break it's just more to make up at home so there is no benefit. I'd rather work through and eat as I work and work less at home.

So will I get arrested :o
Are mnhq passing my details on to the police now
Seriously, in what way di I 'have' to take a break

ha ha - i don't think the police will be interested - i think the only issue it might cause is that if you ever had a work related issue such as RSI or something and you were not taking a break that you should have you probably couldn't claim against the company (if you would) - of course you could counter claim that culture/bullying meant that you felt you couldn't take the break you should have.

Makes sense thanks

:o

I am a SAHM to five children with one on the way, he also have DSS but he is mostly at university. In addition we have horses, sheep, chickens cars, dogs, pigs and various smaller animals. It is a full house! I am just starting to launch a small business.

I find it pretty much to be a life of Riley tbh, certainly much easier than working.

i have 4 children , oldest is 16 and youngest 6. i am a sahm and have enough time to myself. i used to work 3 nights a week, and to be honest me and DH got the household jobs done much more efficiently then!

I found being a SAHM gave us free time at the weekend and quality family time. I wouldn't say it is easy though - I don't get home until 9.30 and have to leave again at 2.30, which leaves 5 hrs to do laundry, ironing, packed lunches, cleaning, gardening, shopping and prep for dinner. I have one morning a week when I am not doing SAH work and most afternoons are spent taking DCs to clubs or doing homework!

I work three days and like working ,but i love pottering about the house, catching up on exerccise, having coffee, watching netflix, do yall do housework!! :-p

The things that come out of this thread for me, which I find quite depressing are those SAHMs (and there are a few) who "fill the day" and "keep busy."

I've been an expat for most of my adult life, and there did seem to be a certain "type" who became an expat wife - good looking, not particularly bright, no ambition to do anything other than not have a career. Being an expat suited them, because they had a ready made excuse for not working. They "filled their day" - coffee mornings, a light game of tennis, a session at the gym, getting their nails and hair done. Didn't bother learning the language of the country or learning anything about it. It was when it all fell apart that you saw how vulnerable their existence was - husband finds a younger, blonder model, and you are up shit street, in a foreign country, getting divorced under laws that don't recognise the non-financial contribution to the marriage, and whereby you are shafted royally. And what then? Back to UK, no large house, no cleaner, just you, the kids and a much lower standard of living.

In one place I lived, two of the school mums had a lesbian affair. I am sure they would have liked to have left their marriages and live together, but the lack of money, lack of being able to fend for themselves, meant that it all ended sadly and messily.

My other

Your schedule sounds very tiring ????????

??

that's so unnecessarily harsh. I'm smart and can hold my own amongst any crowd but I have what I see as the gift of contentment . I'm happy when my schedule isn't jam-packed. Things to do occur to me without my having to think about them. I work now because it's what you have to do really, but I was happy not working! I don't need to have a fake lesbian affair cos I'm bored! Mind you, I'm not the type you mean I think as I never do my nails!

I am on maternity leave with my first child, who's nearly 9 weeks old. It is bloody relentless and I would love 8 hours uninterrupted sleep and I'm v sick of constant laundry, but people who say "being a mum is the hardest job in the world" obviously haven't worked a high-stress job outside the home. I am currently on leave from my job as sole lawyer for a medium sized company and it was far more stressful, even with regular full night's pre-DS.

At least now my time is my own, I'm the boss (supposedly) of DS, I don't have deadline pressures, high stakes advice that could have financial or commercial ramfiications, office politics to negotiate.

This morning we got up at 6.30am after a feed at 2.30 am and resettling at 5.50am,I fed DS, expressed, we went for a walk to the park with the dog & I got a cofee, I've done a few chores, played with him on his playmat, fed, now I'm mumsnetting & watching the cricket. Later I might take him to the beach (it's summer here) and visit my mum.

If I was at work I'd be shut in my office on a lovely summer day, the dog wouldn't have been walked til this evening... and all the chores would still need doing after work! Assuming your child is in good health and you're not under undue financial pressure, there's no way you can compare the "stress" of SAHM-ing to the stress of a pressurised career.

thanks fromparis I don't think that that is unusual at all for working parents and it was worse when they were little and you had to help them getting themselves organised and there were school projects and crafts to be done too...and they did far more activities.....and you had bath times etc to do as well and supervising teeth brushing etc.

I'm actually laughing at the post upthread (but not belittling) where there are only 5.5 hours in the day to get everything done. Honestly try doing all that and adding a full time job - it's not easy. We have no relatives available to help and never had. But, as I said, our boys are our pride and joy and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes we could make our lives slightly easier but i'd rather that they had the opportunities in life that DH and I didn't because despite our parents working hard, we were poor and couldn't go to Uni etc. We know that everything we have done for them and every opportunity they have, we made happen by hard work and commitment - w'd love to have been able to be there for them at home, but simply isn't possible - they've had it the best we could. They have always been able to come home from school rather than a childminder or after school club although we had to use a breakfast club. Holidays were mostly spent at Holiday Care which they loved but the cost meant that holidays for us all had to be carefully managed - I was usually around £2k just to cover summer holidays

As i say though I don't think we are doing anything different from most working families.

No . And if you are happy then great. Having time out has made me realise I am NOT happy and I need to change it .

It's fucking hard . I know !

Each option has it's own issues to be honest. What we do is too much but there is no other option we can see. DH doesn't want to stay at home anyway, but I earn twice what he does - there is no way we could live of his earnings - people get more than that on benefits but don't get me started on the trap of low wages. They boys are teenagers so I wouldn't even get Job seekers or whatever it is after a few months anyway I think. We've never claimed. When I was made redundant and DH was looking after 2 babies and working part time, the amount I was due for signing on was less than I would spend on milk a week so I walked out and went temping instead. I passed a beggar on the street (young guy with his hand out) and i was so raging that i wanted to kick him up the bum which was possibly not that rational. i guess he could have all sorts of circumstances but at the time all I could think was that I was walking the streets hunting for a job to support my family and he was standing with his hand out expecting me to support him too. :(

Violence never sounds rational, no.

As you say, street begging usually springs from other serious issues.

I know arsenic I was just incredibly stressed :(

I am beyond jealous of all you sahm - I don't begrudge any of you but I am envious. Dp and I work ft - out of the house 7.15 - 6.30 and we're shattered. I do begrudge all this 'my day is filled with housework and family paperwork' bollocks though - we squeeze that into our days off. It does not take 5 full days a week.

my working day:

6.30 get up, shower dress etc sort lunches ajd clothes, tidy
7.10 get ds up, make beds, breakfast, dressed teeth try and have a little play/cuddle time, put wash on, sort bins etc get out for 8.15 ds to preschool for 8.30 am and work for 9 am - if I take a lunch break (if) will have a walk to get exercise or run an errand. finish work around 6 and home for 6.15. dinner withdf and ds straight away and I tidy and clean while df baths ds- I do bedtime and am downstairs for 8.30 when I plan to fit in exercise and study for industry qualification - I dream of having that free time to fill as I please but I work full time- weekends are trying to fit in housework, activities, family and friends
.

I'm a SAHM to two primary school aged children (aged nearly 8 and 12.) I've always worked full time all the way up to having kids. Eldest was born, I took my maternity leave and then went back 3 days a week.
When my second was born though, I stopped work as I would actually be PAYING to go to work when two lots of nursery fees/after school club was needed. Not to mention the £100 a month on top for transport.
I used to think the same about parents with school age children and no job. What do they DO all day?
Well let me tell you, it soon gets consumed and eaten into.
Me personally, I've written articles for online publications and run a successful parenting blog. With that and promoting myself online that keeps me busy.
You need to find something that keeps you occupied.
It sounds like a lot of free time when you've got toddlers but believe me when you get there it really isn't as you'll find a way to quickly fill it

I'm SAHM to 3 teenagers. Life is busy but not horribly stressful and I have energy for lots of sports which fulfills my social life too as well as providing a challenge and excape from teenagers.

My sister has no DC 's. Sometimes she has questioned what do I do 'all day '. I hate the question and want to say ' what do you do all weekend - every weekend?'

It's not very useful to compare lives though is it, we all have quite different responsibilities at different times in our lives. For me this is an easy period as my DC's aren't too young, they are healthy and my parents are still well although ageing. Things can change very quickly though, so I am just making the most of it.

5 hrs to do laundry, ironing, packed lunches, cleaning, gardening, shopping and prep for dinner

That's ages!! Why wouldn't that be enough time?!