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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL going to christening she is not invited to...

211 replies

pepperfish · 17/01/2015 19:47

MIL is the true definition of overbearing, but today was quite a cracker, even for her!

So she was telling us today that she's off to a family christening that she's not invited to. Christening is due to be small and personal with just Grandparents and a few friends from what I hear. We know she's not invited because she has been quite vocal about how much she dislikes the mother of the baby and that she's 'a mental case'. She refuses to call the baby by the proper name as she hates it, and if she has to say it, it's said with a sarcastic tone, even in front of the parents. She's already been to visit the baby (4 hour round trip) after being asked not to as it wasn't convenient and received an icy shoulder from the mother, and awkward one from the father, much to her disgust.

The christening is in a different country and shes actually gone and booked flights and a hotel.

DH and I were totally Hmm and Shock.

AIBU to be giddily awaiting the resulting fireworks?! Grin

8 years of biting my lip at all the daft and insensitive things she's done for DH's sake. This is going to be good.

OP posts:
Pippidoeswhatshewants · 17/01/2015 19:50

Shock Will you be able to get a detailed report? This should be a lot of fun.

PotteringAlong · 17/01/2015 19:50

Can you forewarn the parents she's going? Did she fly out to meet the baby?

Nolim · 17/01/2015 19:51

Yes please. Come back to MN and provide a detaled report.

redexpat · 17/01/2015 19:51

Thats going to be a good firework show. Do you think the other woman will write a thread on here?

BIWI · 17/01/2015 19:51

Have you warned the parents that she's coming? I would seriously consider doing that.

chasingtherainbow · 17/01/2015 19:52

Marking my place. I must insist you keep updating us. She's a corker of a MIL

Topseyt · 17/01/2015 19:54

I hope they have bouncers to bar her from the service. Maybe they will, if you can warn the parents in advance of her plans.

Or they could change the venue without telling her so that she goes to the wrong place. Would serve her right.

Zipitydooda · 17/01/2015 19:55

Don't you think you should warn the parents of the baby?

londonrach · 17/01/2015 19:59

Marks place and waits for fireworks....

Petallic · 17/01/2015 20:00

Whilst your MiL does sound truly bonkers, aren't christenings held at the end of a usual and open church service? Unless your MIL bounces up to volunteer herself also as godparent, would they even notice her sitting there in a church full of random other people?

Or have I got it wrong and you can book a private christening service?

But perhaps pre-warn parents so they can head her off from gate crashing any post celebration party they might have planned!

Original poster
pepperfish · 17/01/2015 20:02

I'm tempted to warn them but DH doesn't want to meddle or be pulled into it. I have to say, I see his point. I think they probably already know or will do soon as Grandparents of baby are aware.

Don't worry, I will be reporting back the developments as they happen!!

OP posts:
iklboo · 17/01/2015 20:02

You can usually book either a private christening service, or one with other families - but either way not part of a normal church service where all the congregation gets to sit there & watch.

MrsHathaway · 17/01/2015 20:04

I think a baptism is usually public, yes. The poor parents may only have invited a small group but that doesn't mean the regulars won't show up - baptism welcomes the child into the church community after all.

They must be warned though. Can she not be dissuaded?

Hide her passport?

Original poster
pepperfish · 17/01/2015 20:04

They are open to the public, I believe, you are right Petallic. In theory she can do what she likes.

She's just going to look like a right prat doing it Grin

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 17/01/2015 20:05

That's sad. What kind of person behaves like that aon a special day of an innocent child.

Petallic · 17/01/2015 20:05

Ah ok, they just happen at the end of a normal Sunday service once a month in our church. Am even more amazed she's invited herself to a totally private occasion!

DixieNormas · 17/01/2015 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 17/01/2015 20:08

Shock She is traveling to a different country!?!

TendonQueen · 17/01/2015 20:09

C of E tend to be part of the normal service IME, whereas Catholic christenings have been separate. Which is this or is it something else? (Awaits report)

UmizoomiThis · 17/01/2015 20:09

Weddings are technically open to the public too. But, who is she to them? Is she family as in a cousin or sister of the grandparents? Or is she the woman's MIL as well?

iklboo · 17/01/2015 20:10

It may be different in each place. The christenings I've been to have always been private ones. I'd still flag it with the parents - seems she's only going just to cause trouble.

She'd get decked at one of ours (not really. Well, probably not. Maybe).

Lweji · 17/01/2015 20:13

Catholic christenings can also happen during service, but more rarely.

Anyway, why are you worried about this?
Let her spend her money and time. Chances are she will attend the service and then left out of the party. Or they will put up with her, but it's their problem. If they want they can tell her to go away fuck off.

waithorse · 17/01/2015 20:16

She's traveling to a different country, involving flights and a hotel for a baptism she isn't invited to ? She sounds brilliant. Grin Shock I can not wait for the update. Please tell me this event is soon ?

lomega · 17/01/2015 20:17

Bloody hell. Woman sounds like a nutter.

ImperialBlether · 17/01/2015 20:18

Anyone thinking of this as a film? MIL with a grim, determined face, packing her bags... the audience wonder whether she's going to kill someone.... she gets on the plane and the person sitting next to her looks scared... she opens her bag and the audience freezes... Then later she's flinging open the doors of the church, thunder and lightning... the priest's shocked face...

Or is that just me?

Grin