To ask what the hell is up with people judging children's names?!

[WonderingWillow]

Just that, really. When my DS was born, we gave him a classic first name and a middle name we really loved but was a little more unusual.

My parents came to meet DS, and when they asked his name, my mum sniggered and barely covered her laugh, and said "well, we like the FIRST name, but NOT the middle name!!" And my dad just sat there sneering.
When we saw them just before Christmas, my mum said over a cup of tea "so is his middle name still X? God, did you actually put it on the birth certificate?!" He is 4 now!

Also, I've a friend whose second daughter has a really lovely, but unusual name. It sounds gorgeous, but she had family actually say to her "please don't call your DD that name" when she was PREGNANT.

what the hell? I would never have the bare faced cheek to say that to anyone, and would expect to be given a damn good ignoring for a while!

What gives people the right? Why are people so rude? AIBU to think that if you don't like a baby's name when the parent tells you, you nod and smile and compliment the new parent on their choice anyway and then keep your opinions to yourself?

what about initials, my friends DDs are p.o.s.h. on purpose. illusions of grandeur comes to my mind, but I only judge in my head. the first name is also the name I hate the most and I feel like they chose it to torture me (they absolutely didn't and they don't know I hate it)[bl my own dcs names arent run of the mill and are probably judged too but I don't care. I love Ptolemy and would have had that if I'd heard of it at the time, also wanted Lucian or gunner(German name) if dd had been a boy, so I'm pretty sure most people are at my choices.
I am total judgy pants on everyone's baby names but only ever in my head as it is really rude to peoples faces.

*delusions

The thing is we all judge people whether we think we do or not. And I honestly don't believe people who say they don't judge.

We judge people on their manners, the way they dress, the way they conduct themselves, their accent, all sorts of things.

Everyone has a sense of whether they like a name or not - that's normal and unavoidable. And for however many people there are who dislike a name there will be an equal number who dislike it - and who cares.

What I find really snotty and judgmental are people who attach all sorts of prejudices and projections to names - snobbily deciding names are 'chavvy' (ugh),' pretentious' and are sneery about it, or show ignorance by sniggering at names or types of names from other cultures or countries. Says more about the person making the judgment.

I judge baby names. A lot. But I would never ever say anything to anyone ever in real life or display any negative emotions.

I keep my thoughts to myself in real life but in general I think WTAF to names that will cause a child problems, embarrassment or confusion.

I judge the judgers, tbh. I think that failing to grasp the essential point that name connotations change over time and mean differently in different cultures is the height of smug, blinkered Little England-ism (or whatever your equivalent is), as is the requirement that people from different cultures should give their children names that monoglot English-speakers who think every child should be called Jack or Emily can spell.

The village I currently live in has a very restricted set of names for the under-5s - Jack, Louie/Louis, Harry, George, Lily, Millie, Isabel/Isobelle/Belle/etc. Oliver is considered a bit unusual. My son's Biblical name (which is also traditional in the region where DH and I are originally from, though the majority of those with it are now elderly men) is probably seen as way out. Which it is, for here - but we're not from here, and we move around countries a lot, so it would make very little sense for us to obey very claustrophobic local naming 'rules'.

greencurtain, I'm the same.

I don't believe anyone who says they don't judge.

But I asked the OP what she would actually say if someone told her of a child's name she thought was awful. She hasn't replied yet. I asked her because she said she hates it when people give their view about a name when their view wasn't asked for. But what do people say? Nothing?

My DD is called Poppy-Mae which some people may find common or "chavvy" but I can assure you that I'm not.
I like it, my OH likes it so we could care less what other people think. I am pregnant again and if I have a boy we are thinking of calling him River.

The only issues I have are that people don't think the names through fully, especially in the media age that we are in.

Parents have known about Richard head etc. for years but don't think about what their children's names will become on corporate emails.

First initial - last name there are some interesting ones out there.

I'm always bemused about people thinking its acceptable to make rude or unplesant comments about someone's name in order to attempt to protect the named person from ermmmmm people who make rude or unpleasant comments about someone's name.

Is it that much of a stretch to realise that the problem is the bad behaviour nothing else.

I have a friend whose first name and surname are the same name, I do think that was crass of his parents.

I've loved this thread. I love reading about unusual name choices, don't always agree with them.

My suggestion to add to the mix is to be careful with names with 'th' in them.

The number of men in our family that can't or too lazy to say 'th'

Theo sounds awful as Feo

Catherine...Cafrine

Jonathan...Jonafan.

My friend called her DS Felix. I wasn't keen at the time but quite like it now and I think it's gotten more popular.

I always wanted a two syllable name. My name has three and I hate the diminutive versions of it.

All this thread shows, is that whatever name parents choose they're never going to please everyone. The same name will be regarded as beautiful by some people and outlandish/chavvy/possessing unfortunate connotations/boring by others. I wouldn't give a damn about anyone else's opinions personally.
If children want to tease or bully somebody they'll always find something to mock. A common name can be made fun of as well as an unusual one. If it's not names it will be weight, height, hair color etc anyway.

It's like on the Style and Beauty forum when someone says "What do people think of this dress?" Some people will think it's gorgeous and others will think it's hideous because everyone has such different tastes.

Obviously it's rude to give a negative opinion on anything without being asked. And if it has to be negative it should be tactful...

I love the name Tallulah.

I was disappointed my daughter didn't call her baby it.

Tallulah obviously not it. Lol

A child with a 'normal' name might be in with a good chance of being bullied because kids are kids and it happens, but when you saddle a child with a really stupid name you are just making life easier for the bullies and harder for your child.

When you go to bog-standard school with a name like Tinkerbell or Princess or bloody Starlight your parents might as well give the bullies a wee note telling them to go ahead.

There should be rules about children's names imo. Thank heavens my Nan managed to persuade my parents that since Lyra had been in the running for my name for half of the pregnancy I should have it as a middle name.

I'm all for diverse, unusual names. But I hate names with incorrect spelling. Why not look up the name you intend to use? I know a Mikiala pronounced Michaela, for example.

Me too *Alley. Unless it's the forrin version of a name (and you are that flavour of forrin) then it just causes problems for the child and everyone who ever needs to spell/pronounce the name. It's not classy to be yooneek it's a PITA.

Someone I went to school with has named their DDs Milissa and Madalyn. Why would you think that was ever a good idea?

Call her Lois anyway.

It's a lovely name.

That was for daphne moon btw. I keep forgetting you can't do quotes on here.

YY MrsDV.

Feodor is a variant of Theodore, Dowser - maybe your relatives are indulging their inner Slav?

Yes, I judge names - usually because I've known someone by that name. So, when I hear "Albert" for a little boy, I think "Albert Tatlock" from Coronation Street, who was a horrid old man and kind of wonder why the parents chose it! Of course I wouldn't say that out loud because I know that my thought processes are obviously not the ones of the parents.

I've been told a few "less usual" baby names and in each case I've said "Oh, how lovely." Because it clearly is for the parents and who am I to impose my ideas on them?

We all prefer some names to others. But to automatically judge a Kayden or Jayden solely by his name is awful. And both names sound really nice, which is presumably why their parents chose them in the first place. I could easily imagine either Kayden or Jayden being a sportsperson, an office worker, a writer, a judge, a bus driver, a computer programmer, a teacher - just about anything, in fact.

Lois is a great name! ^^