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AIBU?

"medium" friend "spoke" with my dead DH

176 replies

reallyupsetwithF · 15/01/2015 23:05

Namechanged so if am recognised it isn't stuck to my usual name.

My DH died late last year.
I met my friend who I work with a year ago. She is a nice enough women but she does believe she is a medium. She offers card readings and ghost hunting tours to everyone and I am aware that some people have taken her up on the offer. (She does charge for these)

I don't believe in mediums, psychics or anything like that really. I don't mention my beliefs around her I just smile and nod or change the subject when she brings it up. Mostly because I don't want to get into a big thing about beliefs and have to debate about it mostly because nothing that she would tell me would change mind.

Since my DH died there was a Christmas party at work (which I didn't go to) where apparently some colleagues asked her to talk to my DH to make me feel better. She said that she couldn't just do it on tap and the spirits came to her (which she has said before including the first day I met her when she first said she was a medium)

I saw her today and she said she had something to tell me in private. So we met up briefly in the backroom at work and she said that she had a message last night and she thinks it is for me from DH. I said I was sorry but I didn't want to talk about it. I then left the room. Every time she saw me in work she kept asking me to listen as she thinks this is her gift and it is her duty to tell me. Other people were also telling me to listen to her in case I regret it.

In the end I said fine just tell me quickly. She told me that he said he was in a better place, not to worry, he was watching over us and misses us. She then used a nickname that DH used to use for me when we started going out (pretty sure I have told her that before but she acted like it was new information he had told her) I told her to stop now as it was upsetting me. I also told her that I would rather she didn't do this to me again. She said what if DH wants to pass a message to me again.

Now I was really annoyed at this point so I told her that my DH knew I didn't believe in mediums so I doubt he would try to contact me through her as he would know that I wouldn't believe her. She said that she was telling the truth. I said that if she was telling the truth why didn't she use her gift to find missing children rather than charging people to look at old houses and coloured cards. (Bad I know but I was upset and fed up)

Obviously she was upset, she went around crying to everyone about me being mean to her.

Now a part of me does feel bad as she can be quite nice and she may even believe to some extent that she is a medium. But a bigger part of me is annoyed A. That she kept pushing and B. That she used DH like that.

So was she unreasonable for trying to make me listen. Or am I just the unreasonable bitch who should have been more understanding or just let her get on with it and ignored her.

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brokenhearted55a · 16/01/2015 01:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockinHippy · 16/01/2015 02:02

Wow, what a Narc she is

YADNBU & I'm very much a believer, with good reason to believe too, but this woman is no "medium" more like a rather warped & very insensitive pushy attention whore - you were very restrained - I agree with having a word with HR