Namechanged so if am recognised it isn't stuck to my usual name.
My DH died late last year.
I met my friend who I work with a year ago. She is a nice enough women but she does believe she is a medium. She offers card readings and ghost hunting tours to everyone and I am aware that some people have taken her up on the offer. (She does charge for these)
I don't believe in mediums, psychics or anything like that really. I don't mention my beliefs around her I just smile and nod or change the subject when she brings it up. Mostly because I don't want to get into a big thing about beliefs and have to debate about it mostly because nothing that she would tell me would change mind.
Since my DH died there was a Christmas party at work (which I didn't go to) where apparently some colleagues asked her to talk to my DH to make me feel better. She said that she couldn't just do it on tap and the spirits came to her (which she has said before including the first day I met her when she first said she was a medium)
I saw her today and she said she had something to tell me in private. So we met up briefly in the backroom at work and she said that she had a message last night and she thinks it is for me from DH. I said I was sorry but I didn't want to talk about it. I then left the room. Every time she saw me in work she kept asking me to listen as she thinks this is her gift and it is her duty to tell me. Other people were also telling me to listen to her in case I regret it.
In the end I said fine just tell me quickly. She told me that he said he was in a better place, not to worry, he was watching over us and misses us. She then used a nickname that DH used to use for me when we started going out (pretty sure I have told her that before but she acted like it was new information he had told her) I told her to stop now as it was upsetting me. I also told her that I would rather she didn't do this to me again. She said what if DH wants to pass a message to me again.
Now I was really annoyed at this point so I told her that my DH knew I didn't believe in mediums so I doubt he would try to contact me through her as he would know that I wouldn't believe her. She said that she was telling the truth. I said that if she was telling the truth why didn't she use her gift to find missing children rather than charging people to look at old houses and coloured cards. (Bad I know but I was upset and fed up)
Obviously she was upset, she went around crying to everyone about me being mean to her.
Now a part of me does feel bad as she can be quite nice and she may even believe to some extent that she is a medium. But a bigger part of me is annoyed A. That she kept pushing and B. That she used DH like that.
So was she unreasonable for trying to make me listen. Or am I just the unreasonable bitch who should have been more understanding or just let her get on with it and ignored her.
AIBU?
"medium" friend "spoke" with my dead DH
reallyupsetwithF · 15/01/2015 23:05
Talk to your HR department. The way that woman treated you was shocking. Forcing your beliefs on others at work must, must, must be misconduct. You might find though that some of the HR people have had readings from this woman and are stupid enough to believe her guff.
I also worked with a "psychic medium" once. All the ladies at work had a reading with him, including me 
just being a sheep/nosey . He couldn't read me at all and waived the £40 charge. He also organised ghost walks. He told one colleague (and friend) who had cancer many years ago that it would return and she would die. That was 6 or 7 years ago and she's still fighting fit (ran a marathon last year).
Tangent but even though I don't believe I think I'd find a ghost walk, say in Edinburgh, quite interesting for the historical aspect.
This medium told me at work where he thought Madeliene McCann was 
and details of her "kidnap". I don't work with him any more and deleted him from my FB for some objectionable stuff he was posting on FB.
Absolutely no.
She's a grief tourist.
Take a list to work:
She has wasted work time with proselytism
She has violated your privacy and made it difficult for you to go about your work
She has, in attempting to garner support from colleagues, created a bullying environment which is impacting everyone's ability to do their jobs
I would except nothing less than a written warning for her and a general reminder for everyone that behaviour of this kind is intolerable in the work place.
I'm sorry for your terrible loss OP 
. This just isn't on.
I'm sorry you lost your DH OP.
I lost my DH late last year as well, and I do believe that he's in a better place now. I also believe that occasionally we can receive messages from the other side.
But I honestly think that if someone I know had tried to tell me in the few months since my beautiful DH died that he was trying to send me a message through them, I'd probably slap them.
How fucking dare she??
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh OP I can imagine a bit of how you must be feeling. I lost my DH suddenly, a long time ago now (my son's pretty much a grown up how did that happen?) but I can remember the intense desperation you can feel at wanting to have contact, any contact, even when you know logically that it's impossible
I was desperately grieving but I'm also not stupid. I knew he was dead. Somehow, for me, it helped to be very businesslike about that, but I was brought up with an iron stiff upper lip.
I had a couple of people try the medium thing or the god thing on me. I walked away. I was polite. I now sometimes wish I'd really told them what I thought of them. People like your colleague are basically evil & narcissistic, feeding off your grief and making themselves feel important. I came to despise one who persistently tried this on me, as having such a petty little life which is why she had to make a drama out of mine. Not nice to admit that I thought that way, but that's how I fended off that emotional vampire.
Tell her to eff off. And make a complaint to your boss or HR. You shouldn't have to deal with this at work (but I know I turned into a bit of a workaholic as a way of blocking out desperation when there was little else I could do).
It will pass. It does get better.
He told one colleague (and friend) who had cancer many years ago that it would return and she would die.
In forty-five years when she dies quietly in her sleep he will claim a successful reading.
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