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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to trap my son in the living room?

109 replies

justbatteringon · 15/01/2015 10:49

I have a 20 month old who keeps opening the doors in the living room making the absolutely freezing he also goes into the cupboard under the stairs and pulls stuff out so I started barricading the door with his toy box. (There's 2 doors in the room one to hall one to kitchen, kitchen one has a stair gate)

I see nothing wrong with this arrangement but DP thinks I'm not giving him any freedom. I let him into the kitchen when I'm in there and all his toys are in the living room.
I've always wanted a stairgate for the living room door but DP has never let me.
Do you think I'm being unreasonable and should just let my son have free reign?

OP posts:
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 15/01/2015 10:52

my 2 year old is only allowed out of the living room if I'm with him. He has no need to wander around the house! the gate on the living room door keeps him safe. it's a lot easier to babyproof one room than the whole house!

grannytomine · 15/01/2015 10:53

Sorry but your title made me laugh. I pictured a marauding, wild adult and you with a net trying to capture him. I think I must be unwell.

Back to your point, no I don't think you are unreasonable, pulling stuff out of the cupboard would drive me mad.

BadtzMaru · 15/01/2015 10:54

YANBU, maybe think about getting a hook and eye latch like this for high up on the stair cupboard door so DS can't open it, that's what I did when DD was a toddler. I wouldn't let a 20 month old in the kitchen unsupervised either.

Hobby2014 · 15/01/2015 10:55

granny Grin

Idontseeanysontarans · 15/01/2015 10:56

Not U at all, tidying up unnecessary mess time after time would drive me up the wall! Unless your DH is willing to follow him round constantly then just buy a stair gate, no allowing about it IMO.

lanbro · 15/01/2015 10:56

YANBU but why is your DH telling you what you can and can't buy, especially if it's something that makes your life easier? Get a pressure fix gate and block away!

TheRealMaryMillington · 15/01/2015 10:56

I never went in for any of that baby proofing stuff at all

would a small bolt on the under stairs cupboard solve part of the problem?

stair gate would require door being open and therefore cold all the time?

indeed small high bolt on living room door?

HealthyChanges · 15/01/2015 10:56

My DC (1 and 3) can only go in the living room, I have a stair gate through to the kitchen (my 3 year old can turn the cooker on) and I shut the door for the living room. All of the toys are in there so they love it.

Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 10:58

Hi op, cm here and have fitted simple locks into doors that I don't want the littlies to wander into without me.

Your dh might change his mind if he was with your ds all the time.

That would drive me nuts.

Howaboutthisone · 15/01/2015 11:02

We have stair gate at bottom of stairs as they go directly into living room. We also have stairgate in the doorway between living room and kitchen ( we are still able to close the kitchen door so that shouldn't be an issue). I feel its much safer than a very busy 18 month old having free reign!

42bunnytails1 · 15/01/2015 11:03

YANBU there is no way I would have let climb everything, fiddle with everything DD1 wander freely round the house at two.

We had a stair gate on top and bottom of the stairs and one on the dinning room door. Our dinning room leads off our kitchen and so makes a very useful safe area when pouring boiling water or answering the door.

Upstairs had high bolts on our door and the spare room. So at nap time she couldn't find my make up or hide my sisters jewellery. (The later did happen it took a while for DD1 to remember they were in her wardrobe).

Didn't worry so much about DD2 as she actually played with toys and left adult stuff alone.

Staywithme · 15/01/2015 11:04

YANBU but why is your DH telling you what you can and can't buy

That jumped out at me too Landro. He won't let you? Is he aware that you are an adult and not one of his children? Sorry OP but I find it so frustrating that women half my age (46) are still being told what they can buy, do, by the men in their lives. It's so depressing.

stubbornstains · 15/01/2015 11:05

Just idly wondering whether it's you or your DH that spends most of the day at home following DS around, clearing up the mess, keeping him out of danger and trying to get on with the chores at the same time?

(I think I can guess the answer- wonder if I'm right? Wink)

Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 11:07

Yes just buy the stair gate and bolts and either put then up yourself or tell your dh he will.

Tell him don't ask.

BurnThisDiscoDown · 15/01/2015 11:10

YANBU, when DS was small we had safety gates on the doors from the lounge to the kitchen and the hall (and also a play pen for when it was needed). Way easier than trying to baby proof the kitchen!

Original poster
justbatteringon · 15/01/2015 11:13

It drives me mental I had massive shouty mummy moment yesterday when I was tidying he pulled all the stuff I'd just put away out and all over the house.

I don't drive and my family live quite far away so to get big things like that I depend on DP family. They are perfectly lovely and if I asked they would take me to buy them but I don't like to impose.

I was going to just put a lock on the cupboard but now DS can unlock the front door so I'm going to buy a stairgate.

I didn't see any issue with keeping him in the living room but DP was so adamant that he have "freedom" that he convinced me that it was terrible and I just wanted to see what everyone else thought. Thank you

OP posts:
ShadowSuperNova · 15/01/2015 11:15

YANBU.

My DC (3 & 1) are confined in our living room by stairgates. I don't want them being able to wander out and mess about in the kitchen / stairs while my attention's distracted.

ACardiganForCat · 15/01/2015 11:17

I read the title of this thread and thought 'Yanbu if he's 15mth s old'. Ok so he's a few months older but still yanbu! My son was a terror for doing this and I used to push the sofa across the door! The good news is that he grew out of the smashy phase.

Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 11:24

Your dh is daft. Toddlers need to be watched to keep them safe.

You tell him that as a cm I have to demonstrate how I will keep tte children safe and that includes stair gates, latches and barriers.

Roam indeed!!! Does he extend this idea to the road?

Original poster
justbatteringon · 15/01/2015 11:26

I can buy what I want but I just like to run these things by him in case there's a purchase that needs to be made that I've forgotten about, he does do quite a lot of the household chores and it annoys him too but he thinks it's more important that he has some freedom usually when I put the foot down he gets over it and realises I was right all along Wink

OP posts:
Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 11:29

Good put your foot down Grin

Chandon · 15/01/2015 11:31

easy enough, your DP looks after him then, and can do it his way.

Or you look after him (if/when DP at work/out) and you do it your way.

a 20 month old on the loose non stop is a nightmare IMO.

But I used a playpen at times when I needed to cook/shower/etc.

Staywithme · 15/01/2015 11:35

Good for you OP. I can understand discussing purchases with your partner if you have to watch the household income/outgoings. You would actually be giving the wee man more freedom because he could roam around a safe area without his mummy stalking him! Grin

RedButtonhole · 15/01/2015 11:35

YANBU. When DS was very little I actually turned the handle on the living room door the wrong way round so that you had to pull it up instead of pushing it down in order to get out- he was to little to pull it up high enough to release the door.

We lived in a flat where there was a huge flight of cconcrete stairs directly outside the front door- it was not worth him negotiating his way out there and getting seriously injured if I was in the bathroom or busy in the kitchen.

WhyNotSmile · 15/01/2015 11:36

Can you buy the stair gate online to avoid having to ask for a lift?