Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish people who send their kids to daycare would be more considerate?

176 replies

cinnamongirl1976 · 15/01/2015 10:16

Overheard the other day: "He was sick in the night, but I sent him to nursery because he was okay this morning and I have a really important meeting today".

I hate, hate, HATE it when people do this! The 48-hour rule is there for a reason. Why are some people so inconsiderate when it comes to this? Do they not think of the other children at the nursery/childminder, their families etc? By sending your sick kid in, you could be ruining someone else's weekend. You don't know if they have people in their family with compromised immune systems.

Colds are fine of course and our childminder is fine with that. If we had to exclude for colds I would have been sacked long ago and our childminder would be out of business.

But for anything else - especially D&V - I always follow the illness and exclusion rules our childminder has 100% - work has to take a back seat and it is simply not fair on the other children, your own child, or the childminder/nursery, to do anything else. I have also kept DD off when she's not been contagious (eg ear infection) but would be happier at home. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who actually abides by these rules - do you?

OP posts:
WilsonWilsonWoman · 15/01/2015 10:17

YANBU.

natwebb79 · 15/01/2015 10:20

It makes me mad too! DS was sick 3 times last night and bounded out of bed this morning shouting "I'm much better now!". He's kept breakfast down and is fine. He still won't be mixing with anyone else for a couple of days though.

Sophieelmer · 15/01/2015 10:20

Oh this again. Yawn.

Highlandbird · 15/01/2015 10:20

YANBU drives me nuts at preschool too, and even more so at playgroup because they were bored of being stuck at home Shock

Sophieelmer · 15/01/2015 10:21

I know what would be fun, why don't we have a little chat about parent and child parking? Or we could do accessible toilets?

Original poster
cinnamongirl1976 · 15/01/2015 10:22

Sorry for daring to post something that does not interest you, Sophie.

natwebb79 - glad to hear your DS is feeling better!

OP posts:
tracyrobo · 15/01/2015 10:23

YANBU and there is no need for other posters to be rude.

grocklebox · 15/01/2015 10:24

oh blah blah blah. Throwing up doesn't mean contagious at all. If I'd kept one of mine off everytime he got sick I would have been fired. He has health issues that make him puke, but he wouldn't be any danger to your pfb, although yours might be to him if you repeatedly sent him in with "colds". Hmm

paxtecum · 15/01/2015 10:25

Sophie feel free to start a thread.

corkgirlindublin · 15/01/2015 10:25

I'm interested how you keep your kids off? Do you miss work all the time or do you have family support?

Some of us have no family support and jobs that will not tolerate time off with no notice.

I have sent my child in with ear infections and colds because I have no choice. All the kids are the same.

WidowWadman · 15/01/2015 10:26

There wasn't a thread about opening food before paying in the supermarket for a while either

HouseBaelish · 15/01/2015 10:27

YANBU.

And chest infections, horrible coughs etc. My DD has asthma. She doesn't just get a cough.

SignoraLiviaBurlando · 15/01/2015 10:32

Indeed, one of the advantages of daycare is that the DC pick up every bug that's going and by the time they get to school they are bullet proof. Grin If you don't want your child exposed to bugs, presume you keep them indoors, never go on a bus, or to a supermarket or anywhere else where there are pesky people who might have germs?

Mistlewoeandwhine · 15/01/2015 10:33

I get particularly bothered by the vomiting thing. If DS1 gets a vomiting virus it creates massive problems for him. He has epilepsy and has to take his medicine twice a day. If he throws up then it creates issues over how much medicine he has retained and how much more (if any) to give him.Too much is also bad for him so it is very stressful for us as a family.

People blithely taking their kids round saying 'Oh he was sick last night but he seems fine now' make me boil with rage.

Ledkr · 15/01/2015 10:33

I have to say that I've rethought this in the last few days.
Dgs was sick once during Sunday night.
He was fine the next day, eating and jumping about.
He was with dd for a couple if hours on Monday afternoon.
On Tuesday night dd woke up, was sick once then seemed fine.
So it would appear that they are contagious after just one vomit.
I agree tho that it's often impossible to just be off work particularly if the child just seems normal and well!
Don't know what the answer is tho.

LadyLuck10 · 15/01/2015 10:33

Work has to take a back seat

That's all fine and dandy for you but what about people who cannot do this?

GraysAnalogy · 15/01/2015 10:35

There wasn't a thread about opening food before paying in the supermarket for a while either
Never come across that one on here ever. Who even does that Confused

DialsMavis · 15/01/2015 10:38

Being sick isn't always D&V though. Any suspicion of that and mine stay off. DD was violently sick in our bed and in DPs face on Sunday but was fine straight after and the next morning. DS had unknowingly to us given her loads of cake on top of a huge dinner and then given her about a pint of milk with her story. He then decided to wrestle and tickle her... Won't be letting a 12 year old help with bedtime again. Should we have missed 2 whole days of work? Really?

kewtogetin · 15/01/2015 10:38

I'm a sahm so this doesn't affect me but what about those parents who have no alternative to childcare? No family support etc? I'm interested to know what you think those parents should do? Particularly lone parents who don't have a partner to help when children are sick? It's very noble of you to state that work should take a back seat but people simply can't ring in sick each and every time their child is ill and expect their employer to just accept it.

ghostyslovesheep · 15/01/2015 10:38

we also haven't had a good ear piercing one for a bit Grin

OP of course YANBU I'm surprised you needed to ask

Original poster
cinnamongirl1976 · 15/01/2015 10:39

Wow, some people are rude. I hope you're not like that in real life.

I just think that if you have kids, and you work, you have to accept that if your kids get ill it is your responsibility to look after them, not that of the childminder/nursery/school. If you want that kind of service then get a nanny. Send them in to daycare and you are just compounding the problem for another family.

Parental leave (time off to look after a sick child under 5) is actually a legal right if you've been employed over a year, so it's not a question of your employer "tolerating" anything.

I do understand it can be difficult and I am fortunate enough to have an employer that plays by the rules. Even so I still wince when I have to ask for time off. But I do it; I have no desire to make another kid sick or cause problems for another working parent. If everyone did that, there would be less problems taking time off for sick kids all round anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
cinnamongirl1976 · 15/01/2015 10:43

It's not about being "noble" either, just like struggling into work when you've got the flu isn't "noble".

It is about thinking about other people and indeed your own DC.

OP posts:
CantBeBotheredThinking · 15/01/2015 10:44

www.gov.uk/parental-leave/notice-period

You are right parental leave does exist now if I can just convince my 3 year old to give me 21 day notice prior to being ill we will be fine.

grocklebox · 15/01/2015 10:45

What makes you think we're all in the uk with your laws? You really are unable to see anything from others pov, aren;t you?

Original poster
cinnamongirl1976 · 15/01/2015 10:46

You need to read this first:

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

OP posts: