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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to phone the police over nursery staff pushing my ds

141 replies

SupSlick · 13/01/2015 20:32

Taken into the office at my 2 year olds nursery to say a staff member had been suspended for shouting aggressively & pushing my ds with "unreasonable & unacceptable" force.

Firstly, I know there is yet to be a formal investigation & secondly I know working with children can I suppose make someone vulnerable to accusations, but I just feel sick to my stomach about this.

My 2 year old is so affectionate & polite & eager to please & without outing anyone, he wasn't being naughty in the chain of events leading up to this but I just feel so sick about it all.

He used to love nursery but since changing rooms has been very unhappy & now I'm unsure whether to keep him there or not.

Do I involve the police or ofsted or will the nursery do this? They said they were following procedures & had removed the staff member immediately... I'm probably rambling but I just feel so uneasy about this, ds was extremely clingy tonight but so was I!

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 13/01/2015 20:34

I would.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 13/01/2015 20:35

Not sure about the police but I wouldn't let him back there.

Haggisfish · 13/01/2015 20:35

I think nursery should inform ofsted themselves. Ask nursery for copies of relevant policies-they should have them freely svailAble somewhere and this will tell you what they say they will do. Regarding police, I don't know tbh. If it were me, I would probably want to know what happened and how nursery were dealing with it first.

crumblebumblebee · 13/01/2015 20:36

I'd give them 24 hours to contact Ofsted or do it yourself. I'd also contact 101 for general advice.

Poor DS. Sad

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/01/2015 20:37

They are meant to report to ofstead themselves (afair) but I would be reporting it to everyone who was prepared to listen to me

LadyLuck10 · 13/01/2015 20:37

I think the police would be a bit ott. In the mean time remove him, and let the nursery follow procedure.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 13/01/2015 20:37

I would worry about staff memeber going on to hurt other children...or vulnerable people,

its an assault against a two year old, I would call 101 and simply ask them ....they will advise you.

evenherfartsarefragrant1 · 13/01/2015 20:37

The nursery should be telling you their process from here.

Viviennemary · 13/01/2015 20:38

I think I would inform the LA, Ofsted and the Police. You have no guarantee the nursery will inform them. I certainly wouldn't send him back there. It isn't safe.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 13/01/2015 20:39

your child has been physically assaulted...not sure why calling police is OTT?

101 will be able to advise you on what to do....they wont run round and arrest them...but they will advise you.

TiggyD · 13/01/2015 20:39

I'm certain they would contact ofsted, police maybe. Check in case.

jimmycrackcornbutidontcare · 13/01/2015 20:40

I would go back and ask them what their procedure is. Find out exactly what they are doing. I would not want my child to be in the care of this worker again so if you keep your DS there and the worker comes back to work I would expect them to be placed away from your child.
What a horrible thing to happen. It is terrible that you thought your son was safe with professionals and one of them pushed him whilst shouting on anger. It is good that the nursery noticed and did not let it slide. You would never have known but they have reported it. They sound a good nursery. It sounds as though your DS is safe there. Some nurseries would not have told you or followed any procedures.

fieldfare · 13/01/2015 20:40

Don't send him back until you have an acceptable resolution. Ask to see the policy covering this, check if Ofsted have been informed and call them if not, but I'm not sure this is a matter for the police. Perhaps call your local police station to ask advice.
Give your ds lots of cuddles and take it easy as you must be feeling quite shocked.

maddy68 · 13/01/2015 20:40

Tbf the fact that they have informed you implies that it's a safe place to send your child. They have acted in the correct way. I would contact ofsted myself just to be sure it happens quickly

43percentburnt · 13/01/2015 20:42

The police doesn't seem OTT. If you were pushed at work by a colleague using unacceptable and unreasonable force would you report for assault?

Who witnessed this? Were staff members present? If so is the account reliable?

TangledUpInGin · 13/01/2015 20:42

A member of staff pushed your 2 year old with unreasonable and unacceptable force???Shock Too bloody right I'd call the police. This is a person in a position of trust and in no way should they be anywhere near children if they have done this. Hope your ds is okay x

Original poster
SupSlick · 13/01/2015 20:42

Thank you everyone, in a way I'm tempted to tell everyone, other parents at the nursery etc but know that I should wait for the investigation first but I think I was a little in shock when they told me, my 2 year old knows not to push anyone fgs!
If the investigation comes to a conclusion where they deem it safe for her to carry on working there, I think I'll have to kick up a massive fuss about her working with ds in future... Argh completely doubting myself on what to do here!'

OP posts:
PurpleStripedSock · 13/01/2015 20:42

I wouldn't necessarily remove him. I know that sounds controversial but the nursery didn't try to hide this from you, they flagged it to you and dismissed the staff member. That speaks volumes and would reassure me a lot.

I would contact Ofsted to make sure they have 'followed procedures' and I don't think I'd call the police.

The above is all hypothetical because I don't have thevraw emotion of a trusted adult physically harming my toddler.

I'm so sorry this happened to your little one.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 13/01/2015 20:43

If a random adult in the street pushed you over, then most people would contact the police or even worse a care worker pushing over a resident.

Why is it different because of the age of a person.

I am certain this is physical abuse.

PurpleStripedSock · 13/01/2015 20:44

Ah okay, she's been removed not dismissed. It's a tough call. I honestly don't know what I'd do.

KirjavaTheCat · 13/01/2015 20:45

"Suspended"? Not fired? [shocked]

I don't think I could handle sending my child back to a nursery, in the care of someone who physically assaulted them. I'd be removing him asap. Were you informed of who they are? How long is this suspension?

Original poster
SupSlick · 13/01/2015 20:45

And as other posters have said I do feel relieved that the other member of staff had the danglies to report her colleague. (She heard the shouting & walked in on the pushing, where it was just my ds & the staff member in a room together alone)

OP posts:
WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 13/01/2015 20:45

I am taken aback people are wondering whether it would be a police matter.

An adult has physically pushed and used force on a 2 year old.

A worker paid to look after that child.

A two year old!

KirjavaTheCat · 13/01/2015 20:46

That should be Shock not [shocked], obvs.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 13/01/2015 20:47

YY op very brave of her even more worrying that this person was alone with child!

I would call 101 op, if they are not interested they will tell you - but I am betting they will want to check background of this person.