Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to phone the police over nursery staff pushing my ds

141 replies

SupSlick · 13/01/2015 20:32

Taken into the office at my 2 year olds nursery to say a staff member had been suspended for shouting aggressively & pushing my ds with "unreasonable & unacceptable" force.

Firstly, I know there is yet to be a formal investigation & secondly I know working with children can I suppose make someone vulnerable to accusations, but I just feel sick to my stomach about this.

My 2 year old is so affectionate & polite & eager to please & without outing anyone, he wasn't being naughty in the chain of events leading up to this but I just feel so sick about it all.

He used to love nursery but since changing rooms has been very unhappy & now I'm unsure whether to keep him there or not.

Do I involve the police or ofsted or will the nursery do this? They said they were following procedures & had removed the staff member immediately... I'm probably rambling but I just feel so uneasy about this, ds was extremely clingy tonight but so was I!

OP posts:
NotGoingOut17 · 13/01/2015 23:04

I don't have any comments on your initial query OP but just wanted to clear up something that has been said a couple of times on this thread which is that the nursery should have dismissed the employee - they cannot do this (without breaching employment law), irrespective of what she has done she still has employment rights and they have an obligation as an employer to carry out an investigation before dismissing her.

Employers can't go round dismissing people who have been accused of something by a colleague without establishing the facts and unfortunately this will take time.

The nursery will need to do an investigation regardless of whether you report this to the Police in any case, they will be looking at whether her employment should continue whereas the Police will be looking at the criminal angle. WHether or not the nursery need to wait for the outcome of a police investigation will depend on what the Police say but it doesn't necessarily need to wait and I imagine if they can avoid waiting the nursery will want to bring it to a conclusion asap rather than keep someone on suspension (which i presume is paid).

Like I say Iknow you have a lot of other things to consider and that this is the least of your worries probably but the nursery have shown they are taking it seriously by suspending her immediately - in terms of dealing with the employee this was the only thing they could do today so please don't assume because she has not been dismissed (yet) they are not taking it seriously. Whether you feel comfortable sending your DS back is of course a different matter of course. I hope you are both okay.

DustBunnyFarmer · 13/01/2015 23:15

One of the playworkers at DS1's nursery was disciplined and left shortly afterwards for teasing my son (2.5 yo at the time) about his medical condition, making humiliating remarks. The manager and the owner both took it very seriously and were extremely thorough. I don't know if she was sacked or left, but the manager was very clear that she felt the woman was in completely the wrong profession. I took confidence from their zero tolerance approach. We did not remove our son, though I realise assault is of a different order.

It would be a shame for your son to lose established friendship groups. I also wonder if it might make him less comfortable telling you about bad things in the future (God forbid) if he felt like it could result in major disruption/loss of friends etc. if you've been otherwise happy with his care, maybe wait on the outcome of the investigations.

123upthere · 14/01/2015 07:42

Chipping? Really? You seem to have called me a 'nasty silly twat' for suggesting that OP rests up instead of cleaning the house? Given that she's been through so much already cleaning would be the last thing I'd be doing. But each to their own. Calm down Chipping and save your beautiful language for a more worthwhile occasion.

Tanith · 14/01/2015 09:26

I doubt very much the nursery is unaware of its legal requirement to report. Ofsted are very hot on safeguarding and the nursery MUST report it to them.

It sounds as though they are following the correct Safeguarding procedures while keeping employment law in mind.

Lottapianos · 14/01/2015 09:41

OP, how awful for you and your son. A friend of mine had an almost identical situation a few months back with her 2 year old - nursery manager witnessed staff member picking 2 year old up and slapping her face Sad like in your nursery, parents were informed same day and there was an investigation. Staff member was dismissed and will never again get DBS clearance to work with children. My friend removed her 2 year old immeduately.

It sounds like your nursery have handled this well. You would certainly be entitled to involve the police - what the staff member did was common assault. I hope that you get the answers you want very soon.

ChippingInLatteLover · 14/01/2015 11:01

123UpThere

123upthere Tue 13-Jan-15 22:02:39
Sod the cleaning your little one is more important IMO

What part of that is telling the OP to rest up?

I think it is nasty to imply the OP is putting the housework before her child. I merely pointed out that at 9:30 at night the child would have been asleep and that making comments to a distraught poster saying she wasn't putting her child first, when she clearly was, was nasty & silly.

123upthere · 14/01/2015 12:05

OP Hoping you didn't take my post the wrong way. I hope today goes ok for you & little one.

Quitelikely · 14/01/2015 12:08

If you can find another nursery it might be helpful. Yyy to doing something about this violent member if staff. This needs to be made official so that she cannot work with children again.

Tanith · 14/01/2015 12:27

Why find another nursery when this one is doing everything right?

The next nursery might prefer to cover up incidents in case the parents remove their children.

Original poster
SupSlick · 14/01/2015 17:09

I agree with pp about this nursery being upfront rather than one I'm not familiar with, better the devil you know. Raised my concerns with Ofsted this morning, got him checked over by a doctor (said he's fine but logged it so if anyone needed the details that he was checked, it would be there) & spoke to a lovely lady at local LADO who rang me again this afternoon to confirm it had been called in & reported by nursery yesterday which is reassuring. Nursery seem to be doing everything right & I was told LADO would advise them independently so it won't be just internal or swept under the carpet.

Feelings keep going from sad to angry to rational and back again. My ds is small for his age & the littlest in his class, & a very sensitive little boy so I keep beating myself up that I may have missed something.

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 14/01/2015 17:23

Please font beat yourself up. The nursery is doing everything properly which I hope reassures you a bit.
Very stressful time got you but try to just concentrate on your wee bou

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 14/01/2015 17:43

Don't beat yourself up but I'd still be making sure the world and his wife knew all about it. If you've had doubts before, why didn't the nursery notice sooner? And why was a child alone with a member of staff? My children would not be going back and I'd be taking legal advice sharpish.

flippyflapper · 14/01/2015 17:53

I just can't imagine how you must be feeling. Your poor little boy.

The nursery are doing everything they should BUT if your d's isn't happy going as you said previously he will not understand that what has gone on won't happen again so maybe nervous of going again.

So to me it would be so difficult I hope you are ok and and find the best solution for you both.

Maidupmum · 14/01/2015 19:24

I'm glad you spoke to the LADO and relieved that the nursery had also reported it. They obviously take your child's safeguarding seriously so I would stick with them. It might take a while but under Keeping Children Safe in Education (it's my favourite document- can you tell? Grin) they have to see this through the whole process in order to inform the DBS of the outcome. The DBS will then decide what to add on to her report when/if people do a check on her with a view to employment.

Tanith · 14/01/2015 19:35

Letting the world and his wife know about it not only punishes the nursery for doing the right thing, it lays the Op open to an accusation of slander, Wibbly!

The investigation is not complete so it could also jeopardise any possible criminal trial.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 14/01/2015 20:02
  • nursery manager witnessed staff member picking 2 year old up and slapping her face

FFs, isnt it time to get cameras in all these settings...

two years olds pushed, slapped, teased, FFS. Enough.

Op soooo glad its all in process of being sorted. Try not to feel bad, he is OK, he will recover and he will be OK. Now all the balls are rolling there is nothing more you can do.

EternalBeauPlate · 14/01/2015 20:16

Sup don't feel bad about anything that's happened, its not your fault and you are doing the right things.
Sending a hug for you and your little one I know its against the mumsnet rules

flashystars · 14/01/2015 20:21

This person isn't safe to work with children. The police need to know so they can't get another childcare job.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 14/01/2015 20:26

Maybe start with the manager. When my DS was 4, he was roughly pulled by a staff member and it was witnessed by another staff member. The perpetrator ended up being sacked.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 15/01/2015 15:40

Tanith - I'm not talking about a mass media campaign! I'm thinking more about other parents being made aware. If I child in my DD's nursery class was known to have been attacked by a member of staff, I'd want to know about it. And I'd also be questioning why the nursery hadn't picked up on this kind of behaviour before. As was pointed out previously, the member of staff concerned was also alone with a child in the bathroom. That's not usual IME. There would be nothing wrong with the OP discussing this with other parents - I know if it was me, I'd find it hard not to. Why should she keep quiet?! Yes, the nursery have followed correct procedure now, and perhaps that is commendable. I don't know though - it still seems dodgy to me that this person was employed by them in the first place.
OP - I hope you've made progress today and that your little one is doing well.

StockingFullOfCoal · 15/01/2015 15:58

Police and OFSTED immediately the Nursery worker assaulted a child. The Manager should have called them immediately IMO.

Primaryteach87 · 15/01/2015 15:59

OP this is a scary horrid thing to happen. At the same time, I would actually be very reassured that the nursery were following all the right steps. In a way your son is safer there than somewhere which is 'untested' and might sweep problems under the carpet.

FightOrFlight · 15/01/2015 16:50

Police and OFSTED immediately the Nursery worker assaulted a child. The Manager should have called them immediately IMO

Is it really too much trouble to actually read the thread before commenting?

The Police have been informed as has the LADO re: Safeguarding. The Manager did exactly what you are suggesting.

Tanith · 16/01/2015 15:33

Wibbly, the police and OFSTED are still investigating and this woman has not yet been proved to have committed the assault.
If you really must gossip, the time to do it is not when it might jeopardise a potential criminal investigation.

As for expecting the nursery to have a crystal ball and identify any potential child-pusher before employing them, that's absurbed!

Oodbrain · 16/01/2015 16:44

The LADO will investigate and the Strat meeting will ensure the police etc know.
I supported (professionally ) a family through a similar situation so I saw both sides. Was resolved v quickly which is good to know.