To want to phone the police over nursery staff pushing my ds

[SupSlick]

Taken into the office at my 2 year olds nursery to say a staff member had been suspended for shouting aggressively & pushing my ds with "unreasonable & unacceptable" force.

Firstly, I know there is yet to be a formal investigation & secondly I know working with children can I suppose make someone vulnerable to accusations, but I just feel sick to my stomach about this.

My 2 year old is so affectionate & polite & eager to please & without outing anyone, he wasn't being naughty in the chain of events leading up to this but I just feel so sick about it all.

He used to love nursery but since changing rooms has been very unhappy & now I'm unsure whether to keep him there or not.

Do I involve the police or ofsted or will the nursery do this? They said they were following procedures & had removed the staff member immediately... I'm probably rambling but I just feel so uneasy about this, ds was extremely clingy tonight but so was I!

Ok basically at lunch some one spilt some water & my ds (who has a clean freak for a mum) asked to get a tissue to clean it up, another staff member said ok go & get a tissue, he went to get one from the toilets, the other staff member then started shouting why was he in the toilets so the first staff member went to say that she had ok'd it which was when she saw the pushing.

Please do. I had to report a coworker in a similar situation. I was interviewed by the police. The parents didn't press charges, I think they were too much in shock. It was deeply unpleasant and even though two of us corroborated it, the fact charges weren't pressed meant that most people thought it must have been nothing. It wasn't.

I would report it to the police. And ofsted, no matter if the nursery do too.

I agree that the nursery is a safe place: they have acted properly, but I would struggle to send him there again.

Your poor ds. I have a two year old and the thought of this happening to him makes my blood run cold and I couldn't give him the message that I was prepared to leave him again in the place where something horrible happened.

That may seem OTT, but there are other childcare options and I don't care a jot about seeming OTT when my child has been endangered.

I hope your both doing ok. Do you have any family or friends that you can talk to about it all?

but then that's why people who want to work in nurseries don't push 2 year olds

shocking isn't it.
who would want to save career of people who assault two year olds?

police dont just get set off by a phone call, rampage into someones home and arrest them and ruin their life.

they investigate thats all.

its more common for police to not have enough to go on and drop investigations even where someone can be dangerous due to lack of evidence

this is why when it comes to children and people with LD we have to help protect then as they cant speak for themselves.

wow so someone was getting worked up into such anger as to push because a child was in the loo? in seconds?

sounds really really odd and suspect and worrying to me.

I have two children both highly active hard work monkeys, it would take more for them to go and get a tissue for me to even loose rag with them and I have never ever ever pushed them or hit them or made physical contact.

it gets worse.

In your situation I'd be trying my hardest to get that staff member prosecuted and banned from ever working with children. She chose to ruin her career by assaulting a small child.

So sOrry this happened OP-agree you should write everything down & tbh I would contact the police at least to have something on record for now while you wait to see what unravels. For a colleague to report the staff member they must've been fairly confident that it wasn't just getting cross & pushed over the edge.

Your child has only you to stick up for them. Sounds like the nursery are doing the right thing tho & Id ask to find out as much as poss ASAP ' find out how long all the official stuff takes.

Good luck

In case you think it's relevant I am a social worker. If it was my child I would totally be unprofessional and ape and call police and ofsted and social care! - this needs to be on her record so that she cannot walk into another nursery and do this again. If this was a parent doing this we would be undertaking an assessment etc.

I would call 101 now to report it. Don't ask him too many questions in case any professionals want to speak to him in the next couple of days or they will argue you gave him ideas of what to say.

Have you mentioned to the nursery that he's been unhappy recently? I don't want to sound accusing or worry you further but I think I would tell them just in case this nursery worker has something to do with that.

Hope you are ok op, horrible experience for you and your poor ds. X

I'd take him out and report it to Ofsted. How is he?

Not ruin her career, no.

This isn't her career, clearly. It's a career she's started that she's so absolutely dangerously shockingly unsuited to, that the sooner she leaves the better - for her most of all. Before she seriously hurts a child.

Your update is shocking. I'm very glad you're going to take it to the police, and I hope that she can be prosecuted.

I'd call 101 for general advice and for this reason 1)when talking to an advisor they will probably take a few details and leave it at that, however if they feel it is more serious it may warranted a PC to talk to you, They are very unlikely to act on one allegation, but for all you know someone else has raised concerns in the past.
2) it is possible / likely other children are suffering, i doubt this was a one off event, more likely the perpetrator was caught.
3) safeguarding is everyones issue, if you, yourself work in any profession such as teaching, caring, law, NHS, SS, then you have a duty of care to protect other children in that nursery.

I am very sorry you have had to go through this OP it must be awful and really rocked your trust in care providers. Your son will be fine though, as he clearly has a very loving mum.

Maidupmum is correct and this will be going through the appropriate Safeguarding procedures. Police will be involved if it is considered to be an assault.

The staff member will be suspended until it is proven that they did what has been alleged. People cannot be sacked on the basis of "he said she said", there has to be proper processes in pace to investigate. If it was that easy to get someone sacked then malicious accusations would be rife.

It hasn't actually been proven yet that the staff member did this, unless of course they have admitted to it.

What has your child said about it? For example "the nasty man/woman pushed me" which would definitely reinforce the accusations of the other staff member.

Omg I'd be bloody fuming! And calling 101 for advice, also would not be sending my little one back there.

It hasn't actually been proven yet that the staff member did this, unless of course they have admitted to it

Yes and I would not rely on the nursery to conduct this - the police need to be involved!

The police - not managers at the nursery are the ones who know how to interview people and get at the truth.

I wouldnt send my child back somewhere that they would potentially feel unsafe and insecure. And yes, phone the police. I'm sorry this happened to your son

I would speak to both ofsted and the police ! If the person is found to be physically abusive to kids he/she shouldn't be allowed to work with them in the future.

Thanks everyone

I called 101 they advised to take ds to a+e/gp to get checked over tomorrow if he still says his back is hurting.
They're sending an officer over in the next few days to come see ds & take more details.
Been advised to ring ofsted too.

Shaking now, & going to double clean the house!

I've actually had an issue with the member of staff before which was because she left my ds crying on the floor outside to fill out paperwork (I was watching as I was walking away to go to work) & felt that she should've been comforting him. So uneasy now that all my imagination is going overboard.

I think it sounds like the nursery have done all the right things here so far, to me that actually makes me feel more positive about them. Just because other nurseries haven't been investigated for issues like this doesn't mean they haven't happened. I would be okay sending my children somewhere with a staff member who has immediately reported a this, as they all should.

I would photograph any marks your little boy has as well.

Of COURSE you should! Ignore those saying not to. The nursery chose this staff member. WHY would you leave the next stage in their hands?? They've made one mistake....report! Have the cow in court.

The nursery can't dismiss or even investigate until the police investigation is completed. Phone the nursery and your local Social Services reporting line tomorrow and ask to make a referral to the LADO. They will then inform the police. This is also what OFSTED will expect to happen and they won't act until the police investigation is complete.
It sounds to me like the management acted swiftly to suspend the member of staff but they may be unaware of their responsibility to report. Google 'keeping children safe in education'. This document explains exactly the protocol to follow.
The police won't treat it as an assault solely from the complaint from you- your child's testimony wouldn't stand up in court. They will want LADO involvement and will probably only investigate through that referral process.

I would also make a written record now of everything you have been told, by whom and when (dates & times) keep a running, detailed account.Can be extremely useful later on. Stories/ details sometimes change and if you have everything logged that will be very useful to you.

I would also inform the nursery in the morning that you have contacted the police and will be contacting OfSTED. You should also inform the designated officer (LADO) on the safeguarding team at your local authority who will be the link between the investigation and OfSTED.