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AIBU?

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To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 12/01/2015 16:56

What a cheek!! Glad you texted her

muminhants · 12/01/2015 17:01

I can only say Gosh, Blimey, OMG!

If she were to dump the kids on your doorstep and drive off before finding out if you were in, wouldn't a call to social services be in order?

grimbletart · 12/01/2015 17:03

If she turns up again I would be tempted to say that her children are lovely, well mannered children and what a blessing it is they don't take after their mother.

fairnotfair · 12/01/2015 17:04

Can't believe she was bitching about the quality of the food and entertainment. Do you think she mistook you for an all-inclusive cruise?

Andrewofgg · 12/01/2015 17:05

evmil If this is not a wind-up then like many MNers you are too nice for your won good. Glad to hear you followed the verdict of the jury.

Andrewofgg · 12/01/2015 17:06

*own good

StackladysMorphicResonator · 12/01/2015 17:06

Grin Grin @ fairnotfair

muminhants · 12/01/2015 17:06

PS if I were you make sure all your friends know about it. Otherwise she'll get in first saying what a bitch you were for leaving her in the lurch etc. It always seems to me that if you never help with anything people kind of notice, but don't comment. But woe betide you if you help and then stop. Then you're the worst kind of miserable bitch.

rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 17:09

Whatever you do-do not agree to have her kids tomorrow, till the end of the week, next week, anything. She will assume you'll have them as she had nothing sorted.

I can't believe you agreed to have them Sunday too. You must learn to say no.

Don't let a lack of organisation on her part become an emergency on yours.

Roussette · 12/01/2015 17:10

I love threads like this, it channels my inner rage on someone else's behalf!

Just out of interest, what sort of friend is she? Has she EVER done anything for you? I'm just amazed that you have accepted this, I would do one day to help anyone out of a hole but 7 hours late?????

Lamu · 12/01/2015 17:10

Shamelessly place marking.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/01/2015 17:12

Stand firm OP!

Ragglefrock · 12/01/2015 17:15

Good luck OP blatant place marking
Is she on Facebook? Hopefully she'll write some rubbishy passive aggressive status later that you can tell us about!!

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 12/01/2015 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrandyAlexander · 12/01/2015 17:17

Wow. Words fail me. Just fail me.Shock

Stay strong evmil!

kali110 · 12/01/2015 17:17

Cannot believe the gall of this woman!! She is not your friend.

ohdearitshappeningtome · 12/01/2015 17:17

What time is she due to collect kids ?

OatcakeCravings · 12/01/2015 17:18

When are these kids getting picked up?! I NEED an update!

magoria · 12/01/2015 17:18

She seems to have mistaken you for a childminder or aupair she pays and so has a say over what they do.

Good on you for stopping this.

SisterMoonshine · 12/01/2015 17:20

"...willing to give you another chance"
Grin Love it!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/01/2015 17:20

I'm betting there'll be a 6 0' Clock sobbing hissyfit from Cheeky Fucker who'll try to guilt trip you into falling for her sad face and those of her ds's.

Don't fall for itev

CPtart · 12/01/2015 17:21

Well done OP. Don't back down now. Please keep us updated!

crumblebumblebee · 12/01/2015 17:26

Well done for texting her. Now, please stay firm and don't let that cheeky moo guilt trip you.

molesbreath · 12/01/2015 17:27

Wow. Just. Wow

Incapinka · 12/01/2015 17:27

I am another who loves these threads. I am enraged on your behalf! Please keep us updated on her latest crazy/ungrateful antics!

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