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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 12/01/2015 16:08

Good work OP. I shall be back later for round 2.

ireallydontlikemonday · 12/01/2015 16:09

Yep, please fuck off seems an entirely appropriate response in this case.

ohbollocks2u · 12/01/2015 16:11

jesus , no wonder she has problems with child care

Blueandwhitelover · 12/01/2015 16:12

Excellent text

NurseP · 12/01/2015 16:13

Lurking around waiting to see what happens Grin

MrsNutella · 12/01/2015 16:14

I might be place marking.... I'm hoping this woman continues to be ridiculous in her demands friendship Smile

Nice text OP.

Timetoask · 12/01/2015 16:15

Shock unbelievable! You have been so generous towards her. How ungrateful she is.
This is the problem with helping people too much, they end up expecting it.

HollyJollyDillydolly · 12/01/2015 16:15

Wow. She pays au pairs you're free childcare! She can't dictate what you feed them - she can always supply them with a good if she's that bothered but that would mean actually putting her hand in her pocket. Mon-Fri is ridiculous, tell her to fuck right off.

CheeseAndBeans · 12/01/2015 16:21

Wow. I am open mouthed at the cheek of her! Well done on the text - perfect!
Let us know what happens this evening.

pudding25 · 12/01/2015 16:26

What an utterly revolting woman. Do not give in to her. You don't need people like this in your life.

RabbitSaysWoof · 12/01/2015 16:27

marking place

SistersOfPercy · 12/01/2015 16:27

lurks offers support Grin

rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 16:28

When she turned up this morning with her "I'm giving you another chance" the correct response would have been "Well I'm not giving you another chance" and a firm shut of the door

This!

Tell the boys this is the last day they'll be coming to you-make sure they know. Do not open the door tomorrow as I guarantee she'll make this your problem. I wouldn't tell her you enjoy having her children because she'll think she is doing you a favour!

Why does she think you will look after her children for free when there are childminders, nannies and nurseries who charge?!

Is have told her to fuck off last night tbh. People don't tend to take the piss with me with childcare though . Do you find it hard to say no?

minibmw2010 · 12/01/2015 16:32

Well done OP, stand firm this evening!!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/01/2015 16:36

I do love a 'cheeky fucker of a friend' thread.Grin

Stealthpolarbear · 12/01/2015 16:36

Does anyone else worry that she will be leaving the boys on the ops doorstep in the morning whether te op is in/ answers the door or not.
Also wonder how her boys are so well behaved.
Op under what definition is this woman a friend? do you have nights out? Spend time together that doesn't invole her telling you what you're doing wrong?

BathtimeFunkster · 12/01/2015 16:38

I think she sounds amazing - dumps her kids on someone for seven hours o a Sunday so she can work (yeah, right. She was off shagging somewhere, I reckon Grin ).

Then, instead of apologising for being a dick, she acts like you are in the wrong and then gives you another chance! Grin

We could all learn a little something from her!

BurningBridges · 12/01/2015 16:43

Marking place, impatiently awaiting update - does anyone know what time CB (Cheeky Bitch) was due back today?

BurningBridges · 12/01/2015 16:44

Sorry i see she's already been christened Cheeky Fucker. CF then. What time is CF due back?!

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis · 12/01/2015 16:45

What a cheeky cow, your 'friend'. I truly astonished!

tiggytape · 12/01/2015 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathtimeFunkster · 12/01/2015 16:49

Grin tiggy

If anyone has it in her to make a gesture like that after all she has been out through by evmil, it's CF.

I hope one day I can learn to be so magnanimous.

BiddyPop · 12/01/2015 16:52

Sorry, my Gob is utterly Smacked so I have to [whisper] placemark....

But I am afraid I am in the camp of expecting other "chances" to be given to you evmil to look after those 3 lovely boys again Shock

Longdistance · 12/01/2015 16:52

Yy to telling her boys it will be the last time. Can't believe your 'friend' Shock the absolute cheek of it.

I'm not surprised her au pairs 'let her down'. They haven't, she's just probably treated them like shit, like she is with you, and you're not even getting paid.

Ludoole · 12/01/2015 16:54

If anyone had been as helpful to me as op has been to this "friend", i wouldnt have cared what my kids had been given to eat and i would be so so grateful!

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