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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
YvesJutteau · 12/01/2015 15:30

Text her a photo of a BIG pile of Haribo and a rack of energy drinks and a message "be here by 5pm or they get the lot..."

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/01/2015 15:31

LOL YvesJutteau

OP I dare you to do just that!!! LOL!!!

helenthemadex · 12/01/2015 15:37

I cant believe people can be so rude and arrogant, stick to your guns op

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 15:38

Yes do that op, good idea yves Grin

hellsbellsmelons · 12/01/2015 15:38

OMG - I am Shock at this.
Well done OP.
That text was spot on.
Hopefully she gets the message.
Some people are just unbelievable!

angelos02 · 12/01/2015 15:40

This reminds me of the Liftzilla thread. Surely if you are heavily reliant on someone regularly doing you a massive favour, you do everything you can to show your gratitude.

HeyheyheyGoodbye · 12/01/2015 15:45

Shameless place marking Grin but not as shameless as that woman!!

SirChenjin · 12/01/2015 15:45

Love Yves suggestion - and definitely don't answer the door tomorrow morning. Can you turn off your doorbell at the mains? Stand firm when she starts with the sob story tonight - or better still, stand the kids out ob the doorstep with the Haribos and energy drinks so she doesn't get across your door Grin

AnnieLobeseder · 12/01/2015 15:46

OMFG! Not only would I not be doing any more childcare for this ungrateful cow, I wouldn't be continuing any kind of friendship either. The fucking cheek! Well done for telling her to do one- she really did shoot herself in the foot, didn't she. Please let us know what she says. (I'm working from the assumption that you will not take any excuse she comes up with for her rudeness remotely seriously and will share it on here for our continued amusement).

liquidstateisonthemulled · 12/01/2015 15:46

love the coke and haribo idea...

To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore
ChasedByBees · 12/01/2015 15:46

She is hilarious!

cozietoesie · 12/01/2015 15:47

Bet you she gets the boys to knock on the door themselves tomorrow morning and speeds off in her car before you can say anything.

funnyface31 · 12/01/2015 15:47

Well do OP, your friend sounds crazy! Who actually acts that way when they are given so much help?

I do agree with the previous poster saying she will try and dress it down.

Pensionerpeep · 12/01/2015 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notnaice · 12/01/2015 15:54

Stay strong for the inevitable barrage of mind changing tactics. Do not waiver.

I like the

"I don't know what you will do now, I'm out of the equation" response.

Skatingfastonthinice · 12/01/2015 15:56

'she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them'

Yes
Well she would, wouldn't she?
Because when you are an unreasonable person who exploits others and is rude about it, the sane and sensible don't put up with it.

thetroubleis · 12/01/2015 15:58

I wager she'll try and give you some money at pick up tonight to make it aaaaaaall ok again...

Haroldplaystheharmonica · 12/01/2015 15:59

Please have the kids munching sweets as she arrives to collect them! However, more importantly you must have them ready by the door with their shoes and coats on. Then when she launches into her sob story (and there will definitely be one) you can usher the kids out of the door with a cheery 'bye!'

Buddy80 · 12/01/2015 15:59

thetroubles yes, I agree

davejudgement · 12/01/2015 16:02

looking forward to the update....

zzzzz · 12/01/2015 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThedementedPenguin · 12/01/2015 16:04

This is shocking.

Stand strong.

YonicSleighdriver · 12/01/2015 16:06

Ha ha yves!

ptumbi · 12/01/2015 16:06

BTW - did she pay you for the taxi you had to send your child in? When you couldn't leave her dc?

Pippioddstocking · 12/01/2015 16:08

Please tell us what happens , I won't be able to sleep until I know you've told her to find other childcare .

( I'm way too invested in this thread )