To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

[evmil]

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

Email her the address of local nurseries or child minders.

OP I think "quite tight" is the understatement of the century seeing as she was using and abusing you for childcare without thought of paying toy a penny.

*paying you

I can't even be arsed to read thread but sincerely hope you have dumped friend op . User !

I think we can now all see why she had a high turnover of au pairs if this is how she acts.

I also suspect the agencies have put her down as so unreasonable they won't place any more with her - hence her shameless sponging off you, OP.

Unbelievable that she asked again after being critical & saying herself that it was "for the best".

She even had the gall to say the OP was 'selfish'!

I hope she's not a line manager at her job - can you imagine how she treats her underlings?

Or maybe she has an awful boss so takes it out on other people, but that's not a good enough reason for adults to behave the way she has. She needs to find an after-school childminder and in the meantime she'll have to take parental/sick/emergency childcare leave/work from home while kids are at school.

Like the rest of the world does in fact (except those with DPs and DPILs who also do childcare for free but hopefully with a little more gratitude expressed towards them for doing so).

She probably doesn't like the before and after school club because she has to pay and there is a time limit for picking up children! More difficult to take the mick.

I'm so shocked she text you this morning. How rude.

May I suggest that if you think its not genuine, you report it to MNHQ instead of troll hunting?

I'm checking back in for an update! Wish I knew how to place mark (embarrassment!). What has happened OP?

Having a busy life makes it imperative for her to have proper child care, if she can keep it! Not relying on you and then being rude.

Dark Blue Eyes to bookmark, go to Customise on the Talk menu at the top of the screen, the Bookmark option is near the bottom of the list

Thank you Immovable I will try this now!

I'm shocked at this thread!! Very shocked. It's made my bones tremble with shock. Outrageous woman!!!

Of course she's quite tight! Why pay for something when you can get better down the road for free? She'll call it savvy, but normal people call it taking the piss!

Well done for refusing her this morning. Don't be surprised if she asks again though, prob not immediately but in a month or so. If it doesn't inconvenience you and you feel like saying yes - because your kids would get something out of it - then make it clear that it is the only time or you'll find yourself back where you started.

BigRedBall "It's made my bones tremble with shock"

Well it's made my ears swap places! Anyone else have an extreme physical reaction?

Just don't engage at all. No texts, emails, messages. Nothing. She contacts you and you just repeat, very simply, 'No, I will no longer look after your children. You need to make other arrangements.' Over and over. Nothing else.

This type of thread is common on MN. It always starts with a one-off, with an OP who feels sorry for the person or kids, and then ramps up to an OP having full charge of one or more kids, gratis, for hours at a time, because the parents prefer spending money on something besides childcare.

And they come back and try it on a couple of times before fucking off because let's face it, you have to have more front than Blackpool to behave like this in the first place.

She's not a friend and this is not your problem.

Exactly op, these sort of people usually are. Well tough, they are her children, so she should take responsibility and put her hands in her pocket.

She is vile, exploiting a friend, without even thanking them or showing any appreciation. Well tough, she will have to use the alternatives that she does not like. What a stupid woman shooting herself in the foot.

Bloody hell OP! The absolute cheek of her, more neck than a jockeys bollox!

I drop a child to school to help a neighbour out, last week the Mum came ranting because dinner money hadn,t been handed in to the school office ( DC is yr6, mine yr2),
I checked my car etc, no sign of dinner money, but the mother was accusing, "do you not keep on eye on DS as he's going"...er no I,m trying to off load the the 2 of them so I can get to work.
Anyway, long story short, I paid it yesterday fucking wimp but cannot wait till this arrangement finishes,the child is lovely, Mums a pain.

How much is dinner money these days?
£2 or thereabouts?