To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

[evmil]

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

No surprise she has such a high turnover of au-pairs.

No she didn't turn up this morning. She text me at about 7am (and woke me up hmm) asking if i could have the kids as she was desperate. I said no and she hasn't replied

I would have asked why she had the nerve to ask me after the vile comments she made last night. Just to see what she said.

There was a woman at school notorious for this. Her and her DH had demanding jobs, two small children and inadequate childcare.

She would ask for a one off favour and then expect it to continue indefinitely until she was told it was no longer convenient by poor put upon mum. She would then move on to some other poor unsuspecting mum. She used virtually the entire playground.

Her surname became a term at school eg "Ah, looking after Jane Smiths kids, you've been Smithied".

Just say no.

You can completely see why she can't keep au pairs.....

QueenofallIsee's text is bang on the money - I would send that!!

Evmil - you sound like an amazing mum, a wonderful friend and a lovely person, and I am sure that the vast majority of people in your life truly appreciate you - and I suspect that there will be few who would believe any nasty gossip, if your ex-friend tried to spread any.

I hope you are sitting down with a cup of tea and a slice of cake, enjoying the peace and quiet!

It wouldnt be a bad thing to text queens words. It sums it all up nicely and by spelling it out she MAY probably won't realise where she went wrong and adjust her future behaviour.

Wow.
15, 14, 13 and 12 YO boys along with your 4 YO and her 2 to boot.
You really are a saint!
So glad you stood your ground.
She sounds vile.
She won't send any as a thanks for all your help so you can have some from me instead.

I would text her a link to this thread!

I remember the beginning of Liftzilla - was that not true? :-(

Liftzilla has been discussed at length on this thread, maybe about 8 or so pages back

I remember the beginning of Liftzilla - was that not true? :-(

No it wasn't true...

I think the original liftzilla post was genuine then the op got a bit carried away later on. I was gripped though!

I would not have text back 'No' this morning, I would have text 'No matter how desperate you are, after the vile things you have said, hell would freeze over before I helped you again'.

Oh the whole thing was fake? Darn.

Wow. She is a prize isn't she?

There are cheeky buggers like her out there though.

And they are often the ones who can afford to pay but won't.

If they're both working with well paid jobs, they should engage emergency nannies - agencies like sitters would be able to provide ad hoc childcare for them. They were taking the piss majorly OP and well done to you for standing up to them. Hope DSS3 is better now.

Thanks everyone,

Like is said, i think its something like finance but not entirely sure. They appear to be well paid (have a big house, nice car ect) and i would of thought they could afford emergency childcare provisions but then i know nothing about what their outgoings are like, so maybe they are struggling.

Friend is quite tight though, so that could be something to do with it

"Friend is quite tight"

Got it in one - why pay out when you can exploit a "friend"?

That's how they get the house and the car, dear. :)

CF can't be very bright if she hasn't realised that if you're going to exploit the kindness of a 'friend' for free childcare, the last thing you should do is be 7 hours late picking your children up, criticise the FREE food they've been given, and the very next day after that tell the 'friend' you're giving them 'another chance' to look after your children for free! She should have been on time picking her children up on time and full of gratitude and appreciation. Stupid woman.