To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

[evmil]

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

What a cheeky bitch!!!! Do not feel bad. She only got her dp involved as she knew she were in the wrong.

OP, I just can't fathom why you reacted to her as you did. It doesn't make sense that you were so passive after the text exchanges, to say nothing of her turning up 7 hours late on Sunday and forcing you to put DSS3 in a cab (Taxi?) It just sounds so bizarre.

Like so many others, I feel that 'look on the brass neck on her' about covers it!

Ghastly. Shudders. Ugh!!!

Bored the whole blow-up has happened over the last few days, so I can see how OP could be open-mouthed and "passive" as you put it in the face of such effrontery.

Though I wouldn't call threatening her with SS as passive.

She really is a peace of work, bet her kids get the stomac bug and she texts to blame you!

I also suspect she didn't want to blow up with her friend in front of the friend's children when she picked them up.

Staronthetree I agree. I assumed she was a single parent too.

Right I've flipped the thread twice and can only see responses before and after ops update at around 10pm, and not the update itself.
Can someone tell me what that update was please?

Here is the update from the OP

"Hi all, sorry i have only just replied! I have been busy all night and genuinely did not realise how many people were waiting for an update

She text me back just as i was picking her DC's up from school, initially saying how she really needed my help, was desperate, had no one else and please would i reconsider. I replied saying sorry but after what happened i don't feel comfortable looking after them.

She then replied how difficult i was being, i was selfish, her poor kids ect (it is literally the longest text i have ever seen) that finished with 'well actually, it probably is for the best. I wasn't comfortable with them going to your house anyway because i have heard stories about DSS1 and his friend (who lives with us) and i think they are a bad influence'!!!! Which really annoyed me

She normally picks them up about fish but didn't turn up till nearly 7oclock (and only after i messaged her to say i would call social services if she didn't come soon) with her husband in tow and she silently seethed while ignoring me while her husband was telling me how stuck for childcare they are!!

Meanwhile, DSS3 has picked up some bug and haunts stopped throwing up since he got home from school!!

I am fuming tbh. I felt sorry for her up until the last message she sent me and now I'm just really angry at the way she has escalated it. If i had known this was going to be the result i would have never offered to have her bloody kids in the first place

And i doubt she will turn up in the morning, but if she does i will politely tell her where to go

Anyway, DSS3 is finally asleep (i think) so off to have some"

Well done OP. I hope she doesn't turn up today

Hi all, sorry i have only just replied! I have been busy all night and genuinely did not realise how many people were waiting for an update

Also translated as: get a life.

This is not BB.

If I'd been in your shoes op I would have simply handed her an invoice for all the childcare when she turned up at 7 on Sunday night. Even if I had no intention of making her pay it, it hopefully would have been enough of a shock to the system to change her way of thinking about it.

It always staggers me how some people can be so entitled.

Thanks happy, I needed that

I suspect this might not end here...

Did they turn up this morning?

Tempting though it Is to invoice her presumably you'd need to be a registered childminder for that?

Oh my goodness, some people are so up themselves, I cannot believe the cheek of the woman. Hoping for an update this morning!

Wondering if they turned up this morning

Blue, the most likely update is that nothing happened this morning, which is what I'm hoping for!

I bet her FB has cryptic updates about selfish people and she thought some people were her friends, but oh how wrong she was, etc.

So, what happened this am ? did she call/text/apologise/dump & run?
Sadly, you can expect her to completely blank you at school (if she ever goes?) from now on to eternity, back stab, & do her maximum to poison your reputation with all the other mums.

How very optimistic, mix!

I doubt CF is ever at the school gate or sees other mums much, given she works.

Please let's not have another ten pages of update requests - poor OP has four kids to get to school!

I wonder what 'issues' CF has with your DSS and his friend? Is she homophobic? or just spreading rumours?

What a total bitch.

Ptumbi, I did not take from the update post that the "stories" were related to sexuality of DSS1 and/or friend, just that perhaps they were badly behaved.