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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 12/01/2015 22:57

What a horrible situation. I wouldn't be able to handle confrontation on my doorstep like that.

If she really needed you why didn't she show up with flowers and apologies? Rather than slagging you off and then asking you to reconsider.

Very odd. Hope there's no fall out from it all.

Wantsunshine · 12/01/2015 22:59

Shocked at how people can be and how she has walked all over you. You should figure out what you have saved her with all this childcare and let her know just how lucky she has been.

Lweji · 12/01/2015 23:06

You do know why the au pair turnover is so high, don't you?

If this is how she treats you, imagine younger girls she actually pays (is supposed to pay).

frankie001 · 12/01/2015 23:07

Well done for standing your ground.

Ohfourfoxache · 12/01/2015 23:08

Fucking hell, what a bitch Shock

You're well out of it - just completely ignore this entitled, arrogant arsewipe

AnyoneforTurps · 12/01/2015 23:09

This reaction was completely predictable - in her world, only she matters and anyone who doesn't understand that "deserves" to be put in their place. I'm not surprised to hear that her DC are well-behaved: they will have been trained that their needs come second to hers Sad

It's not you, it's her, OP. She is incapable of recognising boundaries. You did the only sensible thing.

Emotional101 · 12/01/2015 23:11

If she turns up tomorrow don't answer the door!

Ludoole · 12/01/2015 23:12

Well done op!
You dont need toxic "friends" like her in your life.

Sallyingforth · 12/01/2015 23:13

Well done OP.
We can all relax and go to bed now!

But do please post tomorrow with any updates...

CrapBag · 12/01/2015 23:14

Fucking hell! What an entitled bitch.

Her reaction was somewhat predictable given her attitude previously. Think the mystery of high turnover of aupairs is solved. Grin

GoofyIsACow · 12/01/2015 23:14

Oh my god! The bloody cheeky bitch!

Longdistance · 12/01/2015 23:14

I do wonder if her dp/dh knows that she isn't paying you? Just a thought...

MrsSchadenfreude · 12/01/2015 23:19

Let us know if she turns up tomorrow...

Jodie1982 · 12/01/2015 23:22

Please don't get sucked in if/when she starts begging you for help, you'll end up regretting it. Well done for standing up for your self, stay strong.

missingmumxox · 12/01/2015 23:25

OMG! Shown her true colours personal attack on your dss and friend for being a bad influence then so worried by this she leaves them there for another couple of hours.

notonyourninny · 12/01/2015 23:27

Just remember she is not your friend. Stay strong. Cheeky bitch. Wine

echt · 12/01/2015 23:28

I can well imagine that a person with such an overweening sense of entitlement, colossal self-regard and armour-plated ego will have no problem in turning this all round in her head, and coming back tomorrow with the intention of giving the OP one last chance.

Or sending her husband to wheedle.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/01/2015 23:31

I have just read the whole thread and now realise that I have literally had my mouth open the whole time

Very well done op. You've handled it brilliantly !

Shardlakelover · 12/01/2015 23:35

I also want to know why the bloody hell her husband wasn't looking after the kids yesterday (unless of course he works weekends).

brokenhearted55a · 12/01/2015 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spadequeen · 12/01/2015 23:40

Cheeky mare! Her kids, her problem, she'll soon find childcare when she realises that you won't do free babysitting. And massively taking the piss being 2 hours late

rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 23:45

What do you think she'll do for childcare tomorrow, OP?!

AmarettoSour · 12/01/2015 23:47

I hope childcare costs her a bloody fortune. Have a Wine OP

GritStrength · 12/01/2015 23:47

Oh dear

ChangelingToday · 12/01/2015 23:55

The brass neck on them both!! Unbelievable! Not a 'friendship' id be keen on keeping.
Hope your son feels better tomorrow.

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