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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
Sagethyme · 12/01/2015 22:30

Hahaha do you think CF will crop up now on "AIBU, my best mate has left me in the lurch with child care?!"
Congrats OP enjoy the Wine and hope DSS is on the mend

youarekiddingme · 12/01/2015 22:30

Well she's just promoted herself to twat of the highest order.

Well done for standing firm.

Fatalatomo · 12/01/2015 22:32

What chipping said!

She sounds like the type who may cause problems later on so keep all communication just incase

ChillySundays · 12/01/2015 22:32

Am gobsmacked.

If a friend was helping me out for nothing she could have fed my DC nothing but sweets all day

Hope DSS3 is ok now

honeysucklejasmine · 12/01/2015 22:33

Well, i don't think you're going to miss her!

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 12/01/2015 22:34

Thanks op for the update. You are still a softy, letting the husband in to talk to/at you, I wouldn't have let them over the doorstep!!

Agree she will now try to badmouth you to anyone who,will listen so I think the idea of keeping/sending the texts to mutual friends is excellent advice.

You could also send her a link to this thread so she can see what a zillion normal non entitled cheeky fuckers think of her behaviour

Oi cheeky fucker, yes you, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

hillyhilly · 12/01/2015 22:34

Well done, I hope that's the end of it

KatOD · 12/01/2015 22:37

Bit surprised that they thought insulting you would be an incentive to get you to do them a favour. How horrible. Oh well, good riddance.

Fanfeckintastic · 12/01/2015 22:37

Shock what a vile woman!!

StarOnTheTree · 12/01/2015 22:40

She's got a fucking husband Shock

I presumed you were helping your friend because she couldn't cope with work and children and failing childcare all by herself. Even if she was a single parent she was still totally out of order using you as unpaid childcare behaving like she did but the fact that she has her DH to help sort out childcare and stuff...... words fail me

Rainicorn · 12/01/2015 22:41

I wouldn't send the texts to others, just keep them in case you need to clear your name.

ToffeeCaramel · 12/01/2015 22:45

Her poor kids. Did they ask where she was when she was 7 hours late to pick them up yesterday or are they resigned to it?

HansieLove · 12/01/2015 22:45

Evil, I've been watching this for hours. Now I'm curious. You have your DS, and three DSS, and a friend of one of the boys living there. Are you a saint or something?

Your DH must worship at your feet for caring for his sons from his previous marriage. You just have the four year old, and his sons go up to teens, are you much younger than him? Now I'm getting nosy, but I think you are a very good hearted person and the world needs more people like you.

Also, I hope you enlist the help of all these males in your family to help shop for groceries and be cooks or cooks-in-training.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 12/01/2015 22:46

Ah, well.

If she asks you again you can say, "Well DSS1 and his friend will be here. I know how much that concerns you so I'll pass."

Wink
mummymummypony · 12/01/2015 22:46

I feel sorry for her kids. Clearly an abusive and toxic family. The fact that she isn't caring enough to sort out adequate childcare for her children and will gladly dump them on anyone she thinks she can push over must be horrible for them to see too.

You handled that very well OP.

MadameJulienBaptiste · 12/01/2015 22:47

Glad you got it sorted and think she was so late because she was arguing with her husband about what to say to you. My money is on him telling her to grovel and apologise :-)
And, dI'd she not even apologise in that first text? Just asks you to reconsider, like an employee thats leaving cos they've had a better offer!

ToffeeCaramel · 12/01/2015 22:47

Yes, I was thinking she was on her own too.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 12/01/2015 22:48

Now I'm getting nosy, but I think you are a very good hearted person and the world needs more people like you.

Agreed. You can be too good hearted though. Cunt Friend was clearly taking advantage.

Keep your loveliness for the peeps who are worth it.

Flowers
DancingDinosaur · 12/01/2015 22:50

She sounds horrendous. A lucky escape for you.

mummymummypony · 12/01/2015 22:50

I doubt she was arguing with her husband because if he had thought his wife was in the wrong he wouldn't have been telling OP they were stuck for childcare. My bet is he's as bad as his wife.

Groovee · 12/01/2015 22:51

Cripes, she turns up 2 hours late with husband in tow.

Hope your sick child gives you some sleep. Great excuse for the morning if she has the brass neck to turn up.

ToffeeCaramel · 12/01/2015 22:51

Did she say why the husband couldn't have them yesterday? Does he work six days a week too?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 22:52

What a cheeky entitled woman, as if it's your priveledge to look after her kids. Doesent sound like she likes to be around them very much. Shame on her biting the hand that feeds her.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 12/01/2015 22:54

My oh and I do drop offs and pick ups with out of hours school club. We've had help once in eight years to attend a funeral and I was very, very grateful.

How dare she complain and rant. If she's in a mess its her/ their own fault. I bet this isn't the last of it.

HansieLove · 12/01/2015 22:57

Evmil, I did not proofread and my message was typed to Evil but that's because the ipad went and changed it on me.