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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 12/01/2015 19:48
Shock
Jengnr · 12/01/2015 19:50

C'mon I'm going to bed soon.

frankie001 · 12/01/2015 19:51

Come on!!

Eminybob · 12/01/2015 19:52

Wow I can't believe the nerve of some people. How can anyone expect free childcare and then act this way???

I need to know how this ends. Come on OP!

Incapinka · 12/01/2015 19:53

Cooooooeeeeeeee. OP?! We miss you. Please come back and tell us what's happened unless she has broken your knees Misery style so you are stuck in the house looking after her kids for evermore?!

And yes please alpaca for a summary!
Will sit down with some Wineand wait...

ihatethecold · 12/01/2015 19:54

Wonder where the op has gone?
Half of mumsnet is needing an update!

Islander79 · 12/01/2015 19:56

Ooooh can't wait to see her response!

JeffVaderRunsTheDeathStar · 12/01/2015 19:56

How cheeky can people be? I agree with others, stand FIRM and don't look after her kids again.

NorksAreMessy · 12/01/2015 19:57

What? What? What?

Ludoole · 12/01/2015 19:58

Incapinka Grin

AlpacaPicnic · 12/01/2015 19:59

Righty ho...

Mnetter was possibly a child minder. Terrible cunt mum (TCM) asked her to look after her dc as a favour (without pay basically) mnetter agreed and happened to mention a few things she'd be doing that day. Normally stuff like going to the post office, grocery shopping etc. Tcm got v snotty about it and demanded her precious snowflake be treated to some sort of wonderful experience. (I think the phrase was educational stimulation but that could be wrong)
Mnetter came on here to ask AIBU? It was pretty unanimous that she was not. She contacted TCM and told her that she would not be able to look after her child. TCM begged, pleaded and possibly wept exaggerated by me for comedic effect and I believe started ringing round lots of mutual friends to alternately slag of mnetter and beg free (yet educationally stimulating) childcare.
It was shaping up to be a real cracker but sadly mnetter came back to briefly explain that she had been outed and had to ask MNHQ to pull the thread.

this is pulled from my very crap memory. All details are subject to being completely wrong and any corrections are welcomed.

littleleftie · 12/01/2015 19:59

OP isn't a one off poster so she will be back

YouTheCat · 12/01/2015 20:02

I remember that one, Alpaca. It was a nanny.

YouTheCat · 12/01/2015 20:03

And I think it was her day off or free time she was using to do the favour. The TCM complained to the nanny's employer.

Tinkerball · 12/01/2015 20:04

I will never cease to be amazed by the cheek of some people, but I'm always curious why some people feel guilty etc if they can't help out others with their childcare as well.

YonicSleighdriver · 12/01/2015 20:04

Alpaca

I think she was a nanny and friend threatened to "grass" her to her boss for lack of stimulating experience. Think it might even have been nanny's morning off as charge was at pre school or summat.

foreverdepressed · 12/01/2015 20:04

I NEED an update, what did she say OP?

SugarFreeGruffaloCrumble · 12/01/2015 20:04

LINK OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN StillStayingClassySanDiego Angry

YonicSleighdriver · 12/01/2015 20:05

It was deleted but at least three if us remember it!

CeliaLytton · 12/01/2015 20:07

Liftzilla:

OP was part of a car share.
Car share ended
LZ (Liftzilla) still wanted a ride to work
OP obliged
LZ never paid petrol, was often late, generally took the piss.
OP ended the agreement.
LZ called in sick as she couldn't get to work. Then harassed OP with phone calls to her home and husband's business line, text and email.
OP changed her shifts.
LZ tried to do the same.
OP was very frank 'sorry, this isn't working for me, I was going to end the arrangement anyway'
LZ turned into a general stalking nut job.
HR got involved.
OP reiterated her message.
LZ made excuses, bribed, begged, guilted for her lift.
Repeat ad nauseam.

Ohfourfoxache · 12/01/2015 20:08

Oh god the waiting around is torture! Grin

SugarFreeGruffaloCrumble · 12/01/2015 20:08

Just rtft and realised that 'terrible can't was pulled. I retract my yelling Grin

Anyone care to summarise please? Big kisses xx

kali110 · 12/01/2015 20:10

I wish liftzilla thread hadn't been deleted, i never got to read the latest updates ??

Zamboni · 12/01/2015 20:14

I remember TCM and I think she was a nanny running errands on her day off.

Hope things are ok OP am in no way place marking

CeliaLytton · 12/01/2015 20:14

Oh yes, and it got deleted after MN realised it was all bollocks. People started to cotton on after not only the sheer brass neck described by the OP, but also the fact that the OP seemed privy to confidential meetings between LZ and HR and then she was so stressed that her union rep gave her a week off work for stress Hmm

But I didn't mind that it was made up because it was so highly entertaining Wink