AIBU to ask who pays for bridesmaids dresses?

[jemima1988]

I'm just watching a TV show about weddings

the bride is expecting the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses?!? I was under the impression this was included in the cost of the wedding?

am i wrong?

I was a bridesmaid for a friend in 1986. She said from the off i had to buy the dress. I was working, living at home and willing to buy it. My parents thought this was terrible, if you have a bridesmaid you pay for them out of the wedding budget! They never got over it, i ended up giving the dress to a charity shop. I paid for my bridesmaid dresses when i got married. Everyone has different views I guess.

My friend had an American BM who was shocked and delighted when she realised that she wouldnt be having to pay for her own dress. She said that it was far classier than the US way of doing it in her opinion where you can pay $$$ for a dress you dont like and wont wear again. She also said that the concept of turning down the "honour" of being a bridesmaid was unheard of, even if you cant stand the bride, if she asks you have to say yes!

She declared she would be having an "English" wedding when she got married including bride-goes-first entrance, I will ask my friend if she ever did!

Disclaimer: This is what ONE American woman said to me, I have no idea if it stands for the rest of the US!

It's fine in the US for people to turn down being a bridesmaid in some circumstances. One example is if the wedding is some distance away and the person can't afford the travel expenses. Most people would understand.

I assume she was talking about her own experiences, which are probably family related as wedding/bm stress mostly comes from family! I did think that it surely must be ok in some situations, and that surely not all US brides think the same way as the ones on Bridezillas!