to say "I will not return the fish knives."

[Alchemist]

STBXH and I split over a year ago. Things have moved on, divorce going through and I am in a much better place altogether.

H's family haven't contacted me or DC for approx 8 months after a couple of very uncomfortable conversations with MIL and SIL. I told SIL to Fuck Off and I was not repentant.

So, today I receive a call from MIL:

Me: Hello
MIL: I want the fish knives back. You must return them, they are mine.
Me: Erm
MIL: I am in and I want them. I want them today.
Me: I'm out today but you could call next week? Or H could pick them up when he next has DCs?

MIL: I want them today! You must bring them to my house!
Me: I will not return the fish knives. Goodbye.

I know MIL and she must have been stewing for months before the dramatic fish knives call. This makes me smile.

So, AIBU to say "I will not return the fish knives".

I second getting them engraved with your and ex's names. Then deliver them back.

Definitely some sort of engraving before you return them. You and STBX 's names seems like the best bet.

It will be money well spent.

"POO KNIFE. DO NOT LICK." pwhhahahaha!

I hope the OP gave them to her; fish knife for the fishwife.

Do all the people currently offering advice realise that this was 5 months ago?

Hello!

The Fish Knives Incident fizzled away to nothing. I think she has forgotten... perhaps I should remind her? :)

BORING!!

Please do.

Sorry

Don't remind her, just send them back out of the blue... Complete with engravings & one fork missing - ideally replace with a fork of a similar size that clearly doesn't match. Or, better yet, send her a carrier bag of assorted cutlery with a note saying "Sorry, couldn't find the fish knives so I've spent the last few months searching charity shops to find replacement cutlery for you." Said cutlery should be as naff as possible, including various Disney-themed items.

Remind her by doing the postcard idea from upthread.
Or if you're not going anywhere, send her a birthday card with a fish knife on it (Moonpig make your own type thing). Even better if it's not her birthday.

Or send her some other knivknives.A few from the charity shop, the one you use in the garden, and one you liberate from the bhs cafe.

With a breezy note: sorry they're a bit late.