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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say "I will not return the fish knives."

161 replies

Alchemist · 10/01/2015 18:37

STBXH and I split over a year ago. Things have moved on, divorce going through and I am in a much better place altogether.

H's family haven't contacted me or DC for approx 8 months after a couple of very uncomfortable conversations with MIL and SIL. I told SIL to Fuck Off and I was not repentant.

So, today I receive a call from MIL:

Me: Hello
MIL: I want the fish knives back. You must return them, they are mine.
Me: Erm
MIL: I am in and I want them. I want them today.
Me: I'm out today but you could call next week? Or H could pick them up when he next has DCs?

MIL: I want them today! You must bring them to my house!
Me: I will not return the fish knives. Goodbye.

I know MIL and she must have been stewing for months before the dramatic fish knives call. This makes me smile.

So, AIBU to say "I will not return the fish knives".

Grin
OP posts:
molyholy · 10/01/2015 23:07

Would I BU to say I love the treasure hunt idea Grin

zzzzz · 10/01/2015 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chasingtherainbow · 10/01/2015 23:11

This thread is hilarious. OP, she sounds utterly bonkers!

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 10/01/2015 23:12

She's seen a similar set on the Antiques Roadshow and thinks she's given you some money. I'd get them valued before giving her half of them, or I'd tell her to come and collect them herself as her GC have forgotten what she looks like.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 10/01/2015 23:15

Treasure hunt? Like geomapping where you send her the coordinates? That's a great plan.

CyclopsBee · 10/01/2015 23:15

Pacific we have cow crockery Grin
Each plate has a different picture of a cow on it, for when one eats beef.
they are years old

Lucked · 10/01/2015 23:33

Loving this thread, well done all with the fish puns!

I would return knives and forks minus 1 fork.

ZingTheGreat · 11/01/2015 14:01

cyclopse

we had hen plates. with a different hen or rooster on each plate.
I felt uncomfortable with those painted birds looking at me inquisitively and one looked a bit bad tempered so they had to go.

I don't like animals looking at me when I eat

TheyLearnedFromBrian · 11/01/2015 14:18

Contact MIL and say 'Sorry about earlier, you caught me on the hop. Of course you can have the fish knives back, to be honest I've had no use for them since my piles cleared up after DC2. It will be good to know they're being used for their proper purpose again! All my love to you and your lovely family, Alchemist'

whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey · 11/01/2015 14:33

My nan had a plastic runciple spoon that had a long handle. It was used for spearing pickled onions. Then she got a gadget that Lakeland would be proud of - a sort of two pronged thing with a grabbing mechanism. Worked wonders on the pesky festive pickles.

CyclopsBee · 11/01/2015 14:37

zing Grin

seaoflove · 11/01/2015 14:50

I love the idea of MIL waking up and suddenly realising "OMG, Alchemist still has my fish knives!" and then it becoming a matter of extreme urgency to get them back.

Don't return the fish forks Grin

ZingTheGreat · 11/01/2015 15:02

seaoflove

it's the stuff of nightmares isn't it. I can sympathise with poor MIL.
just the other day I woke up in tears because I remembered I had lent my staple gun to a friend.Sad
and despite there being no upholstery emergencies at present the absence of my much beloved staple gun was almost unbearable. I actually felt sick at the intense emotion of fictional loss that felt like grieving so I had to text, email then call her immediately to return it.
it was 3 am. I was NBU.

Staywithme · 11/01/2015 15:34

No, no, no! No insults on the rings. Much as you may hate your ex I would get your name and your partners engraved on them. I think she would be delighted to have a permanent reminder of her Ds's relationship. Naturally you had this done just after you received her lovely gift. [angelic emotion]

HappyAgainOneDay · 11/01/2015 15:40

When I divorced my Ex, he took any gifts given to us by his family or friends and I took any gifts given to us by my family or friends. I finished up with more because I had a huge family and more friends. The difficulty was when we came to joint gifts from our children. We put them in the middle of the table and tossed a coin for who would be first to choose and then we took turns to choose from the pile. It seemed fair to me us.

seaoflove · 11/01/2015 16:12

Zing Grin

OVienna · 02/05/2015 18:27

Am I being unreasonable to NEED to know what became of the fish fight?

KentonArcher · 02/05/2015 19:43

Thought that was deja vu for a minute there ...

londonrach · 02/05/2015 19:47

People use fish knifes.. (Misses point of post)

CaTsMaMmA · 02/05/2015 19:54

oh....I thought there'd been an exciting denouement!

carrielou2007 · 03/05/2015 09:01

I remember reading this thread and just been crying laughing so hard. I'm off again just thinking about it GrinGrin

Andrewofgg · 03/05/2015 09:11

Sorry OP but this thread is hilarious.

Bloody fish-knives! Ffs!

Tell her she can pick them up from you by appointment and don't engage when she does. Have them in a bag by the door, hand them over, wish her well, and close the door.

VivaLeBeaver · 03/05/2015 09:17

My mum has runcible spoons in her cutlery canteen. They're not cake forks.

She uses them for curry or chilli but I have no idea if that's correct.

VivienScott · 03/05/2015 10:54

Tell her they were an item you specifically asked for in the divorce settlement and she'll have to get a court order if she wants them back.

ZacharyQuack · 03/05/2015 13:07

Get them all engraved with "OLD TROUT". Except for one. That one you engrave "POO KNIFE. DO NOT LICK."